i cannot drive when im 16, need advice on how to convince mom?

Question

hey, i have a problem....

im going to be 16 in a month and 5 days and i am going to HAVE to be able to drive places, my dad passed away on oct 2nd and he was a big part in my transportation. now my mom is all i have left and she wont let my drive when im 16 to the places that i think i should be able to go..

i want to be able to go to
1.school
2.taekwondo
3.friends in my town
4.food

ive begged her to let me drive, but its a no go.

she said that she will rethink her decision if i can proove to her that im a really really good driver by the time i get my licence, and even then its a slim chance...ideas please, anything! tips on how to convince, good driving habbits, anything please.

im already an good driver, i do the speed limit, im extremly watchful of my surroundings and other cars and that stuff.

if i cant convince her, i cant drive until im 17. which will suck.

fyi, i cannot get a job because im on social security and if i get a job, then the money i earn is taken away from ss

Answer 1

I hate to say it, but most of your reasons have no real merit.

The main reason for driving to school is?
There is no bus available? Or to drive around a bunch of mooching buddies?

Tae Kwon Do is a good activity. One merit there.

Friends in town?
Unless you were planning on driving to their house and staying there for a while, I'd say not a chance. You would need to prove that they are responsible as well. Hanging out of a window yelling at girls or pedestrians with the radio blasting tends to be distracting. Some states also limit the number of minors in a recently licensed driver's car.

Food should also be a non issue.
Loitering around coffee shops, diners and fast food joints would indicate you have nothing better to do. Hopefully there is food at home and at school.

You did not mention work at all.
I would have to assume you intend for Mom to provide the finances to keep the car rolling? Insurance - In most cases major accidents will exceed the state's minimum requirements for financial responsibility.
Gasoline is not cheap. $7.56 will not get you very far, and getting a carload of people who shouldn't be in the car in the first place to chip in can prove troublesome. They will want their gas money's worth of cruising. If you ask a girlfriend for some coin to get around, good luck with that.

Cars require periodic maintenance, as well as wearable parts replacement.

Considering that driving is a privilege and not a right, if you were to wait for a while to earn this privilege it would definitely mean a lot more to you. I cannot be certain if you are sincere with your desire to be a "really really good driver", the "average" 16 year old falls short of the mark. Speeding, traffic signals and lane markings ( The thick white line at a stoplight / stop sign is there to keep the intersection clear... Tractor trailers, box trucks and buses frequently need extra turning space to compensate for the way the trailer or rear wheels "cheat" the corner, a car stopped in that area prevents a clean turn.) Generations of young drivers have demonstrated a lack of proper vehicle management, so the odds are not favorable of you being the "one" to set the record straight.

IF you manage to convince your mother of the need to drive - she may tire of driving you places and cave in.
Keep in mind that Mom will be financially responsible for any damages caused by a minor child in the event of a serious accident, which means that at 45 years of age, she will most likely no longer have a house, car or credit rating due to a judgement against her, and that would suck.

Answer 2

Most important quit talking about it until its time.

Influencing will be easy. Like bring your grades up, behave well at school, say nice things.... Especially do surprise things like clean the whole kitchen, have supper ready when she gets home, help out when your mom is working on something.

Sorry to hear that your dad passed, but with him gone she may be worrying about the financial stress of insurance for a newly licensed driver with the amount of income greatly changed by his actual passing. Not to be rude with that paragraph.

Don't bring it up until it happens(You get your license). And just start by asking to be able to drive yourself to school, then move to your tae-kwon-do practices occasionally getting something to eat after your days at school, and getting to friends houses.

Might be greatly influenced if you get a job save up for a while and then announce I have done some research and I found that with the income I make I can afford this much car payments then gas and insurance and pay all on my own for a car. That would impress your mom more than likely.

Answer 3

I know this is a big issue with teens, but driving is a priviledge you must earn.

The first thing you can do is prove you're responsible. Ask your mother what changes she would like to see in you to show you're gaining maturity and responsibility. Then follow through.

Secondly, parents know that the first year or so you drive, you learn a lot. They just want to keep you safe. When our kids were learning, we required them to drive off 500 miles with us in the car. They learned a lot during that time, and then we felt safer letting them solo.

So, I suggest you offer to drive off the 500 while working on the responsibility issues they designate. Then, assuming you do as agreed, you could get your license.

Above, all, remember that you have parents who do everything out of love for you. And that makes you a lot luckier than a lot of people.

Answer 4

In my opinion, I think your mom is nervous about you. Not because you're not ready, or because you're not a good driver, but I think she is worried that you might get into an accident or hurt. Your mom may seem to be unfair, but I'm sure all of her rules are just worries for your well fare that she is not ready to admit. I wouldn't be too angry at her. :) As for the part about not letting you drive at all, I would write her a note. It may sound weird, but if she refuses to talk about it, just write on a piece of paper how you feel and ask her about it. Don't be rude at all about it, just be nice and understanding. Hope this helps! Good luck to you!

Answer 5

1) Maintain good grades so you qualify for a good student discount on car insurance & to demonstrate your self-discipline.

2) Be home by curfew & always be honest about where you are going.

3) Don't nag her. Let your actions speak from themselves. Give her time because she's dealing w/ the loss of your dad/her husband & may be feeling extra protective of you out of fear.

4) Do really well in your drivers' ed. classes & on the tests to get your driving permit.

5) Show her that you can think for yourself & won't cave in to peer pressure. (i.e. Don't argue for getting a license by saying "so & so has a license" or ask for things because someone else has them.)

When you ask for something - talk about your own reasons/motivations.

e.g. You can be more self-sufficient.
You can participate in more extra curricular activities, help her w/ errands or get to/from a PT job to help defray the cost.

Also - if you have your driving permit - maybe offer to driver her to appointments or on errands to help out, to practice & to show her your driving skills.