Why won't he commit?

Question

What makes a man not want to get engaged or married even though he says he loves you and wants to stay with you forever?

And we've been together for almost 3 years...

Both his mom and mine keep askin when we're gonna get married. His parents even offered to pay for the reception.

Answer 1

I am not sure! I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years and we have a 14 month old son! I still don't have a ring. He says he wants to be out of debt and have our son a little older. But for me a ring does not neccesarly mean I want to jump down the aisle. Its commitment. Saying you want to be with that person for the rest of your life. I am unsure what men are thinking. Sometimes I think it has alot to do with his friends talking **** and some other issues. But it is a dream of mine and we have been together for 6 years what more man? Hopefully someone answers this one.....but I doubt it.

Answer 2

He thinks you will always be there. I had to give mine an ultimatum. I was with my then boyfriend now husband for 4yrs before I said so am I going to be a girl friend forever and are you telling me that Im an awesome girlfriend but not good enough to be your wife? When he didnt respond we broke up.3 1/2 yrs of marriage and a baby later Im glad I did! You have to make him realize he may loose you. If he loves you and wants to be with you he will realize this after some time apart. Like that old cliche' if you love something let it go and if it comes back its meant to be. Let him go, and if he doesnt come back your better off. I think a lot of men are scared of commitment, but he should be more scared of losing you forever. So it worked for me and turned out to be the best choice I made. But it was hard! Going from being together every day for 4yrs to nothing for a couple of months. But it took those couple of months truly apart for him to realize he loved me that much. They need a shove and the only shove hes gonna get is when you shove him into the fact if he doesnt buck up and be a man and buy a ring, he could possibly loose the best thing hes ever known.

Answer 3

He says he loves you and wants to stay with you forever? Now you ask why he won't commit. How much longer than forever does it have to be before you consider it to be a committment? Would you rather have him stay with you because he loves you, or because he's afraid of punishment if the relationship fails. A marriage document is state supported leverage. You've seen enough women try to punish men financially to know this. Don't believe that by pretending to be naive we will buy it. You have what more than half of the women asking questions on here really want. A good man who loves you. Is it enough for you? I suppose not. So tell us. if you're not happy with this, now. Who's to say you'll be happy if you get the next thing you want? He is committed to you. But we don't like to be tested or constantly told that we need to prove our love to you with just one more thing. It's always just one more thing it seems. That's why he wishes you could be happy with his current committment and stop calling him a liar when he says he is committed to you.

Answer 4

Questions to consider: 1.) Is he financially secure? Some guys don't want to burden their future wife with any debt. Home mortgage and car payment are one thing, but if it is financial unsecured debt like credit cards or store cards he might be saving to pay those off. 2.) External pressures like work or family Mom & Dad, siblings stuff? 3.) Does his family like you? 4.) Does your family like him?

Sounds to me like he has committed - 3 years? Is it time to take to the next level and talk about where things are going to go? Look at it as not rocking the boat, just wanting to know where the boat is sailing to next? I didn't want to say do this, or do that. Just a few considerations - with kind regards....Finn.

Answer 5

you said it yourself it is because all his friends are young and free and moving and partying. girls are ready years before guys are, they say a guy wont commit until he is minimum in his late 20's. it is a terrible thing for a girl to be sorta the right girl at the wrong time. there was a lot of research done recently that shows guys are less and less interested in marrying before age 30 and that girls cant make them do it anymore. and that when they are finally ready they dont usually marry the girl who has waited for them.

Answer 6

He is one affraid to commit or if you are already having sex with him then he is not interested in marrying you because he does not want to live under the same room he wants to keep it a friend with benifits kind of thing. Talk to him about ask him why he does not want to marry you or ask him if he is affaird of commitment it is better to ak him directly because you will no he exact answer.

Answer 7

Women give it up without the benefit of marriage then are surprised when the man won't commit? Why should he, he has free tail no strings attached. And it isn't the man's fault. The women should have more respect for her self and not settle for it. NO ring should equal no panties.

Answer 8

Sometime they just don't want to loose that part of there life as long as he has u without the commitment then he has his cake and eating it to.U sometimes have to rock there world make him scared more so that he is going to loose u if he doesn't commit.

Answer 9

Some people are not the marrying type.

Answer 10

scared of commitment!

-he has this freedom (even though ya'll are together you're NOT really). and he prolly has this image of when he gets married that he will be tied down and he is scared of letting that go!