My husband and I have been married 1 year. We are 12 weeks pregnant. I've been soo exhausted every night that i've been going to bed early i could sleep through a hurricane. My butt has been burning lately and I really didn't think much about it. Well last night i went to sleep and when i woke up my husband was having anal with me. I didn't say anything because i thought surely not but then he finished and got up and went downstairs. I got soo mad. When i confronted him about it. He said i led him on. I had been bugging him previously about having sex before i went to bed and he kept telling me no cause he had to get up in the morning. Then he said I'm overexgerrating. Worst of he said he thought i was awake. If he thought i was awake how come he didnt just move my underwear over? or say anything to me after we had had the sex? He said that he doesnt think it's a big deal. I really do and I don't know what to do about it. Am I just overreacting??
2007-11-01 10:37:48 · 15 answers · asked by cutenwild1769 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He also said that he didnt do that then backed tracked said he did but didnt anal..but i have the proof..i mean come on most people know what it like...I'm just really disappointed in him and I don't know what to do about it and don't feel like i can trust him.
2007-11-01 10:40:26 · update #1
That's what i said was that other peoples wives and gfs would not appricaite this either and he said they wouldnt care..but all my freinds have said itd bother them too!
2007-11-01 10:43:55 · update #2
After he falls asleep tonight, lube up a long dildo and shove it up his azz.
That will fix him.
2007-11-01 10:40:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 8⤊ 1⤋
I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but that's not sex, it's rape. Having sex with someone without their consent, is rape, whether you are married or not. And I'm sorry, but if you're asleep, it isn't possible to consent.
I don't know any woman who would welcome being taken advantage of while they are vulnerable.
You aren't overexaggerating. You have the right to be very upset, and of course he doesn't think it's a big deal, he wasn't the one that was violated.
I have to admit, I agree with the earlier poster that recommended giving him a taste of his own medicine! It really isn't the politically correct method for handling this, but some men, that's how they learn.
As to what to do, that's a hard question, as it's apparent you've tried talking to him, and he's being hardheaded about it. I know the most important point you need to make, is that regardless of whether or not he believes other women wouldn't mind, it isn't other women he is raping in their sleep, it's you! And how YOU feel is what matters! You're his wife! YOU matter! It's YOUR body! If he can't get that thru his head, I'd find another bed in another room, possibly in another house, with a lock on the door, until I wasn't so tired, and sleeping so heavily anymore.
2007-11-01 17:59:17 · answer #2 · answered by Ista 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would've rolled over and asked him what on earth he thought he was doing. I would be FURIOUS with him for that, especially if you've been uncomfortable for a few days and didn't know why. That indicates he's done this before. Tell him from now on if he'd like to come at you during the night asking "are you awake" and "are you SURE you're awake" might be helpful since you're so tired from carrying HIS child. Unbelievable. I would probably ban my husband from sex for a year if he pulled this one with me.
2007-11-01 17:56:55 · answer #3 · answered by amyguesswhat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's having sex with you when you are asleep (anal or whatever) and he thinks this is no big deal? I would be furious at his lack of respect. Having sex should be a decision you both make, not something he does to you when you have NO CHOICE or SAY SO. He should be sleeping on the couch and perhaps even going to counseling.
2007-11-01 17:44:57 · answer #4 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not over reacting! This is serious. What kind of man would do that? I feel very shocked and saddened. Tell him never, ever to treat you in that way again or you are out of there. Reminds me of a rape situation. Of course you are exhausted with the new life inside of you. 2nd timester a lot better but deal with your husband first. I am so sorry!
2007-11-01 17:42:50 · answer #5 · answered by curiouscanadian 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hell no you aren't over reacting! That's crazy? I think you should at least have a choice in the matter before engaging in any type of sexual intercourse. What he did was selfish and sneaky. I don't know how to tell you to handle it because you are carrying his baby however, I would let him know low down selfish and self centered he is for doing that crap to me in my sleep.
2007-11-01 17:43:00 · answer #6 · answered by Lana 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Got a pretty good stringer going. You gonna keep 'em all, or toss the little ones back?
On the off chance that you are serious, though, let me answer the question with another question: Are you angry that he did you while you were asleep, or that he did you in the butt?
2007-11-02 11:16:15 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You gotta lay the law down with this clown who is the father of your unborn child. If I pulled crap like that with my wife I'd be looking for a place to stay, and it wouldn't be on the couch, it would be in the next county.
No, I don't think you're over reacting, and he is lying to you.
FP
2007-11-01 17:41:36 · answer #8 · answered by F. Perdurabo 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I don't think you are at all. You should be able to go to sleep without wondering what he might do I think you need to talk to him again and tell him how hurt and upset you are.
2007-11-01 17:41:55 · answer #9 · answered by Working Mum 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How can you lead him on when you're asleep? He's lying and also messing with your body without your permission. Not cool.
2007-11-01 17:42:59 · answer #10 · answered by suzanne g 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
oh my dear it is a big deal and you have every right to be angry i would leave him .The fact is he did this without your permission that is very serious
2007-11-01 17:43:39 · answer #11 · answered by sweetie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋