We've been married for a year. Our son got really sick last year so we didnt have a Christmas. We've financially struggled ever since but still I managed to pull off a nice valentine's gift, father's day gift and I got nothing for either mother's day or my birthday. Today is his birthday and I'm really broke since last weekend was our wedding anniversary and we went out of town. Is it wrong that I dont feel bad since he never bought me anything?
2007-11-01 10:05:49 · 28 answers · asked by justkeepinitreal 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He does know how that made me feel on my birthday. I told him that even a card from the stinkin 99cent store would've meant something. It's one thing not having my son to share my special days with but for my husband not to put any effort into it just sucks. But at the same time I dont want to make him feel the same.
2007-11-01 10:12:47 · update #1
btw his mom's already cooked dinner for him so exnay on the nice dinner part
2007-11-01 10:14:42 · update #2
You're sitting on the best present in the world give him that then say HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! really is what men enjoy getting most on their birthdays..
2007-11-01 10:16:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Men don't remember birthdays. We should, I know, but we are not so hot on anniversaries and dates generally. I live with another guy, and I don't think we have celebrated a single birthday on the right day for either of us in about 4 years. As for him not saying anything nice, he was probubly deeply embarrased and feeling guilty, which we (being smart creatures) often show by being cold. Give him a few days to make it up to you. If he doesn't, kick his *** (metaphorically- don't actually punch him, or anything. That would be wrong.)
2016-04-01 23:14:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make him a card with a poem telling him how you feel about him.make him a nice dinner and if he takes a shower put a towle in the dryer and give it to him when he get's out. Bake him some cookies and let him watch what he wants tonight and just pamper him . I do that for my husband when I can't get him something for hsi birthday and it means more to him then a gift bought from the store. Because it all comes from the heart. Maybe he will do the same for you on your next Birthday . Happy Belated Anniversary ..
2007-11-01 10:21:21 · answer #3 · answered by dollbaby2407 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I understand you feel bad since your are use of getting him something but, birthday's are not always about giving gifts...There are other things you can do for him to acknowledge his birthday...You can bake him a cake or have a nice dinner which you already stated his mom is cooking for him....Just the fact that you wished him a happy birthday lets him know that you didn't forget...Spending his birthday with you should be important than anything else...Don't beat yourself up about it...Theres always next year to make up for it....Even christmas is a month away.....Spoil him then....
2007-11-01 10:53:46 · answer #4 · answered by Yvette D 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I never want a gift from my wife on my bday. My present is when she lats me hang with the guys or I can BBQ for some friends. As for my wife, I think I have a responsibility to give her something to show I love her like a card or flowers or something more expensive if I can afford it.
As long as you're husband is ok with no gift you should be ok. But a small gesture never hurts.
2007-11-01 11:11:11 · answer #5 · answered by *D* 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You feel really bad that you did not buy hime a gift but at the same time you are feeling furious that he made no effort for your birthday or mothers day. Even a home made care or note would have been appreciated I imagine. Tell him how your feel about his making no effort and just before mothers day or your birthday next year remind him that you are needing something (doesn't matter what) to meet your need for love and respect.
2007-11-01 10:33:30 · answer #6 · answered by curiouscanadian 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Did he have the same reason as you do? If so, then that's just the way things go sometimes. You try to do what you can and let the other stuff go because (hopefully) you'll always have other times with that person to celebrate.
I hope he at least remembered your birthday and the fact it was Mother's Day and wished you a happy one. That is the least you can do for him, to acknowledge it is his birthday.
2007-11-01 10:11:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
It's okay not to get him anything....however....
Consider that you are escalating a situation. It's possible that you will advance to "He didn't kiss me last week or I won't kiss him this week." to "He came home late last night, so I'm going out late tonight". to "I think he cheated on me last weekend so I'm going to cheat this weekend".
Just because he's inconsiderate about those kind of things, doesn't mean you have to be. If you feel a good spouse remembers their spouse with a card or gift on special days, shouldn't you do that regardless of his shortcomings? You are setting yourself up to never get this from him if you validate it his actions with like actions from you.
I wouldn't feel guilty. I would just be careful...the smallest things turn into big things...quickly.
2007-11-01 10:53:40 · answer #8 · answered by ∞ sky3000 ∞ 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, but you don't want it to be a revenge thing. The first years of marriage are typically pretty lean, especially if you already have children, so maybe make him something (like his favorite dinner) or be there to spend time with each other. That beats all of the gifts he could ever get anyway. (And of course, everyone likes birthday sex!)
2007-11-01 10:10:56 · answer #9 · answered by Captain S 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
It sounds like you are trying to hurt him like he hurt you, because I think if you really didn't care you would not be thinking about it and stressing. I would say, don't do it as a payback...I think you would feel better even if you made him a card or cute coupon book, just to show you do care. But do speak up around your bday and let him know it IS important to you, and he DID hurt your feelings, don't hold it in girl.
2007-11-01 10:50:36 · answer #10 · answered by Shelby 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋