Married for one year, with a lot of happy days and some not so happy.Started working for my boss, an articulate elegant man double my age. His physical attributes do not excite me at all---short, balding, early signs of a pot belly, etc. Why have I suddenly become attracted to him? At first, any physical contact or him flirting with me didn't impress me, in fact I was almost repelled. I had terrible thoughts of him fantasizing about me and still wish he wouldn't, but all of a sudden I started enjoying his attention. I love it when he looks at me a little too long, or winks at me, or compliments me. His cologne turns me on. I feel the same towards my husband, who's a little rough around the edges, and a very simple loving man. I love him dearly.
What's your take on my sudden shift of interest ?
What would you suggest I do about my feelings?
How do I have sex with my husb. without thinking about my boss?
2007-11-01 09:52:38 · 19 answers · asked by Trouble 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your boss has something your husband does not: higher authority in your worklife. He is someone you look up to, a leader. He is a guide and a mentor. His approval and recognition means positive things for your career. This type of power can be attractive to people of the opposite sex, especially the ones directly beneath him on the corporate ladder. You are both working for a common goal: the success of your organization. Your personal issues do not come into play very often in your professional environment.
Your relationship with your husband is different. He is the one who you see finally venting after a long day of work. He is the one you see with messy bedhead. He is the one whose farts you will hear and smell. He is the one who will let his bad mood show more because he is at home and not having to remain professional for the sake of a job.
Plus your relationships with these two men are at different stages. You are more used to being around your husband, so some of the things that may have been exciting at first have now become a little more boring and predictable. With your boss, your working relationship has grown, so a little sexual attraction is likely to occur. The forbidden fruit.
Just relax. These feelings will pass. Just enjoy the fun while it lasts, and don't get yourself into trouble oevr temporary emotions.
2007-11-01 10:08:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think you are attracted to the unforbidden side of it. I think you have realized he likes you so you are getting into the fact that he does and not so much him personally. I think you should just stop flirting and start being professional, maybe see about transferring or even find another job. This won't work out well if you continue on the path you are on.
2007-11-01 09:59:51 · answer #2 · answered by Stina Lady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you arent happy at home, or not being pleased in the sack. I dont think you should do anything about your feelings flirting is fun and natural. as far as not thinking of your bass while you are with your husband..I suggest you do nothing he wont have any idea anyway..and if hes like most guys he just wants to get off anyways.
2007-11-01 10:00:03 · answer #3 · answered by Brockdaddy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think a little of that is normal, but you're toeing the line pretty hard. I'd look for a new job and take a serious look at what you may be wanting that the marriage isn't providing.
2007-11-01 10:01:49 · answer #4 · answered by seew 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is exactly the type of power a person with job authority has. It is the exact reason why this man needs to be reminded of sexual harrasment lawsuits.
It is also the reason you need to examine your continuing enjoyment of approval from a guy who should be a daddy figure.
2007-11-01 10:24:18 · answer #5 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think red flags are hanging up. You really need to evaluate things here.
Is your husband doing everything he can to please you sexually, compliment you, make you feel good about yourself and everything in between?
Are you perhaps lacking something in your relationship?
It is hard to turn feelings off just like that, but I would suggest trying very hard unless you want this to go off into deep waters..there is no turning back!
2007-11-01 10:04:31 · answer #6 · answered by Kelly C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you married too young and are now feeling 'tied down'.
I think you must decide how important your marriage and husband are to you. If they are, do NOTHING to risk them. If they aren't - wouldn't your husband be better off without you?
And will your boss have any real respect for someone who abandons her values so easily?
Think again.
2007-11-01 10:01:17 · answer #7 · answered by bluebell 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are loving the attention b/c you are lacking it else where...no boss should flirt with their employees and I think you should stop egging it on..it will only lead to trouble..what if your husband was the boss and acting this way with a younger employee?
2007-11-01 09:56:20 · answer #8 · answered by Mrs. Jack Sparrow ♥ 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Duh. Do you really need us to tell you that you are in dangerous territory? Lets put it another way. If your husband was in this situation that you are, what would be your thoughts and feelings about it? What would you expect him to do? What would you think he owes you and your marriage.
Dear Lord. That some people need to ask if they are right or not or if they are delving into trouble in situations like this is terribly scary.
2007-11-01 10:00:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your feelings are your feelings. i am going through the same thing right now but it is one of our good friends. i think about him alot during the day and night. and it is hard. the sex question is something that i am having a hard time with also. all i can say is good luck to you and please e-mail me if you find a solution!!!
2007-11-01 09:58:31 · answer #10 · answered by sunshine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋