hubby and I split and I went on a date with a guy at work. Of course, there was a kiss good night. well, hubby and I are back together and he is obsessed with knowing everything there is to know about the other guy. every day he comes home with something new to ask me. He also wants this guys phone number to hunt him down. its been a year since this happened and he's still on it! we were 1 day away from filing for divorce, so why is my husband blaming me for cheating on him? and why do I have to suffer every day for it? I keep reminding him that we weren't together or getting along at that time, but he says, that has nothing to do with me cheating. I've tried talking to him but he wants me to show that I love him by helping him locate the other guy so he get kick his but*. otherwise, by not helping him show my husband that I care for the other guy more.
2007-11-01 09:17:26 · 23 answers · asked by Laurellamags 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You two were going through difficult times, but ya'll were still legally married. Just because you two were going through a hard time DID NOT GIVE YOU AN EXCUSE TO CHEAT ON HIM. Being still legally married to him, it's technically considered adultery or cheating.
You deserve all that trouble from your husband. Frankly, I think you deserve worse for such an monstrous act! You, woman, are evil. If I was your husband, I know what I'd do...
Well, you're going to Hell anyway. It says in the Bible that adulteresses do not inherit the kingdom of God. So just go away. You don't deserve your husband. You don't deserve anyone, cheater.
Oh, and it DOES sound like you care about the other guy more. Your husband is right to think that and be angry. Afterall, you made him that way; it's your fault.
2007-11-01 09:25:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
I'm just answering your main question which is "obsessed with the past?"
You see the reason why your husband is acting like this is the simple fact that you did kiss another guy. It was the whole act that for one night you forgot about your husband and acted sexually towards another man. Your husband was very hurt by this and now feels that your love was not as strong as it was when you were first married.
Try putting yourself in his shoes and think about how you would feel if he kissed another girl. Would you be over it that quick?
The reason he is blaming you on cheating is because that is how he feels and he is very angry about it. I'm sorry but it will take time for him to get over this.
You left out the reason why you wanted a divorce and how come you got back together while you were 1 day away from a final divorce?
Feel free to email me with more questions.
2007-11-01 09:36:49 · answer #2 · answered by TroubleRose 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It sounds to me like your husband has issues. I personally don't agree with dating while married (even separated) BUT that aside...it sounds to me like he's suffering from his own form of guilt. Maybe he also had an affair...maybe his went further than a Good night kiss...maybe maybe maybe...
It sounds like you two need counseling...which is a good idea regardless. And you need to quit talking about this guy. When he asks you a question about him...tell him you're not going to discuss it anymore, it's in the past. Remind him that if you didn't love him more...you would be with the other guy. You're husband obviously has self-esteem issues...especially if he truly thinks that he's got to beat this guy down in order to maintain his man-hood.
And tell him that if he continues to persue this infantile vendetta then you are going to have to re-think getting back together again.
2007-11-01 09:36:52 · answer #3 · answered by Miss Sunshine 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sorry, your husband sounds a tad immature. Besides, there are laws...you can't go around busting people's faces in and not expect to get arrested, jailed and sued. It's real life here, and he's not a character in a movie. It's not that guys fault that YOU decided to go out on a date while you and your husband were having problems. Maybe your husbands issue should be with you, not some innocent guy you went out on a date with. (...and I hate to add, dating a guy at work is never a good idea) So really, by "protecting" this other guy from your husbands stupidity, you're actually protecting him and your family from a possible lawsuit. Maybe you should knock THAT into his thick skull.
2007-11-01 09:29:17 · answer #4 · answered by L.A. Angel 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
hi there i'd merely attempt to relax and keep in mind that if he really does merely look after then you definately something else fairly would not count number because really, it is merely sex. i hit upon I used to imagine it turned right into a wide huge deal at the same time as someone slept with someone and to be truthful i have in easy words slept with like 7 or 8 human beings and till those days i changed into in a lot of cases really close inspite of out being in a relationship, now that i'm with my gf i do not even imagine about them to be truthful. My gf, she's slept with someplace contained in the 50s and initially when we all started relationship that killed me, fairly because I knew some too, nonetheless bothers me from time to time yet in easy words when I see the guy i understand fairly nicely and that i havn't requested about any others that i'd understand reason really, it would not help to understand. data suck and they merely devour your thoughts, do not enable them get to you, the previous is over and executed and its irrelevant if there is not any actual thoughts invovled. i understand how complicated that's, you merely were given seem previous it to what really concerns... best of success, Steve
2016-10-23 05:44:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you shoud've followed through with the divorce. sorry to say, but this marriage is unhealthy. ONE YEAR LATER, and he's still on it!
you dont have to prove your love to your husband by helping him stalk and, perhaps, hurt someone!
i cant really say more without know why you were separated in the first place, but seems to me this marriage still have some issues.
ps. i dont consider you cheating on him, because you guys were separated at the time. sometimes divorces takes YEARS to be finalized and i dont think someone she remain single (or without sex) for that any extended period of time, unless s/he chooses to. you did not anything wrong!!!
pps. i'm sure you've already told him how much you love him and yadda yadda, there nothing else you can do at this point. you've done all you can. .....now what do you want to do?
2007-11-01 09:26:36 · answer #6 · answered by happypants 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I think that you should sit down with your husband and tell him that you only have eyes for him. That this other guy means nothing to you and that it was just one date and point out the fact that you were getting a divorce and that you are extremeky happy that you are back together and that one date was in the past he is your future and that is all that matters.
2007-11-01 09:23:56 · answer #7 · answered by bnm0044 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
It sound like he needs some professional counseling. His behavior is a bit ridiculous, and it is something that you shouldn't have to deal with. I would suggest a marriage counselor and you both to go together. If not then he may get thrown in jail for assault and that is as bad if not worse than dealing with the rotten behavior.
2007-11-01 09:22:42 · answer #8 · answered by vix 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You should tell your husband that is not the others guy fault. If he kiss you is because you let him. Also I think that you should not go out with someone else if you have not totally finish your relationship with him. To me he seems to obsessive and dominant. If he knew what happen and he still wanted to get together with you, then he should not complain. My suggestion, ignore him.
2007-11-01 09:30:55 · answer #9 · answered by Babushka 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
My thoughts...go through with the divorce with this guy or at the very least, get councelling!! He needs help in dealing with this.
What was the original reason for you separating? I would remember that and think hard about this so called relationship.
I would be worried about what else is to come from this guy.
2007-11-01 09:22:36 · answer #10 · answered by Kelly C 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋