Do I have to buy Christmas presents for Jewish family members?

Question

my family is catholic, my cousin married a jewish lady, has 2 kids, Their both Jewish, its theire relegion.
Its been a tradition that me, mom and sis go to my Aunts house for christmas every year, buy and recieve presents from her, her husband, two wives and my two cousins.
Why should i buy presents for kids who are Jewish and dont beleive in Jesus? it seems fake.
Also my cousins wife always acts like she doesnt want to be there, she always makes faces and tries to pick a fight with me. My other cousin is distant and just hides with hise wife, whispering to his wife,,
Im 23 now and questioning all this, also i never see or hear from these people besides christmas.
Isnt it wrong to buy jewish people x-mas presents? why are they celebrating christmas with us.?
Also my Mom requires me to buy a present for each person, not from us as a family or to a couple, Example i have to buy a present for cousin and also his wife,
I think my mom, me and sis should have our own familu x-mas, Agreee?

also the cousin who hides with his wife, puts me on a jury stand asking all types of very personal and tricky/intruding questions with a mad face.
I feel its abusive.
My mom says we cant have our own x-mas cause her sister requires her to be there

how come im not invited or given gifts for Hanakauu (sp) then?

Answer 1

Christmas is about spending time with family, and you're not giving people gifts because they're Christian, you're giving them gifts because it's what the "spirit of Christmas" or whatever is all about.

Answer 2

I understand your problem. You are dealing with a common issue that faces interfaith families. I would **not** buy the kids Christmas presents. It's a slap in the face to them and to their religion (I'm Jewish, by the way). This is probably why your aunt makes faces, etc.

You are a bit stuck because if you don't buy presents you aunt will be happier but perhaps not your mom. However you're 23 now and able and responsible for your own decisions. I would write your aunt a note telling her that you've done a lot of thinking and have decided not to bring Christmas presents to honor the religion of her house. You'll have to tell your mom the same thing, of course. You could always bring *Chanukah* presents with you, of course, even though Chanukah will be over by that time. If you do, make sure that you wrap the presents in very clear Chanukah paper.

And yes, I agree that you should not go over to your aunt's house and celebrate Christmas at all--again, it's not their religion. Go over, yes, but celebrate Christmas no.

Good luck!

Answer 3

I think you can hold your head up high as I think you and your family are the nicer people. Just do it for your mum (not them) as it obviously means a lot to her. When your cousin asks you all those stupid questions just look at him and politely say, "If you want to talk to me and have a nice conversation then fine, otherwise I'm going to walk away as I refuse to be interrogated on Christmas". Yes I agree with you, you your mum and sis should have your own Christmas but I think your mum must want to see her sister.

Answer 4

Christmas is about celebrating the birth of Christ; Christmas has nothing to do with exchanging gifts. Unless you're forcing them to attend Mass with you, they're not there to celebrate Christmas; they're with you to celebrate the holidays. The day that you choose to get together which is most convenient for everyone just happens to be December 25.

Answer 5

If you don't want to give them presents because you don't like them and want to make it felt that you don't like them, that's one thing. But to claim that you don't want to give them presents because they don't believe in Jesus is hypocritical. Nowhere in the NT does it say that you have to exchange presents on Christmas, decorate a tree, etc. And think about this: Do you really think Jesus would have approved the annual explosion of consumerism that takes place in his name? That his supposed birthday is used as an occasion to clear out Walmart and get stuffed? "It seems fake"?? The only thing that's fake is about 85% of the Christmas tradition, which has nothing whatsoever to do with the Christian doctrine, and much to do with secular culture.

There is a dilemma that faces interreligious families. On the one hand, Jews don't celebrate Christmas; on the other hand, not to invite a portion of your family because of their religion is a slight, and you know it. To invite them and demonstratively exclude them from present-giving is also an insult.

At 23, you are still very young and prone to angry thinking, as well as a desire for self-affirmation. You don't seem to know that waging a holy war within your family is one of the most devastating things you can do to it; and it never pans out well for anyone -- there will be no winners. You want to tell your aunt to cut off her son on Christmas because her daughter-in-law and grandchildren are Jewish? Do that -- and I guarantee you, you will lose your cousin, his children, and possibly your aunt forever. The children particularly, will always, always remember it -- sure, 10 years from now, relations can be mended on the surface, but they will never forget how you wanted them cast off for being Jewish. And believe me, one day when you are long past 23, you will want to be closer to your family, whether it's Catholic or not. A time will come in your life -- as it comes in everybody's life -- when you will feel very alone in the world and very miserable, and you will desperately need someone to comfort you, support you, and be there for you -- and that's exactly the moment when your youthful self-righteousness towards your family comes back to bite you in the ****. Even if your cousin, G-d forbid, ever divorces (which is what I think you really want, your Catholicism notwithstanding) he still won't forgive you for rejecting him and his children on the basis of religion -- not really, not ever.

Why won't they invite you to Hanukkah and give you Hanukkah presents? Well, judging from your post here, it's possible they perceive your stance towards Judaism as hostile. Why should the Jews in your family show a special deference to your religious holiday when you can't even spell the name of theirs? Hanukkah is a celebration of ancient Jews' triumph over conquerors who desecrated the Temple and wanted to eradicate Judaism. Perhaps your cousin-in-law believes it would be inappropriate to celebrate a holiday like that with someone who resents her for not believing in Jesus. Why don't you approach your cousin's wife and express an interest in Hanukkah as its own event, rather than a trade-off for Christmas? Her response might just surprise you.

My advice is: do your part for peace. Be accepting and look beyond your petty prejudices, at the big picture. Nothing that you've described warrants cutting off a part of your family. Particularly since you belong to a religion that professes to be all about forgiveness and love. What better time to practice those principles than Christmas?

Answer 6

yes.. i am jewish and i love to get presents from family members on christmas

Answer 7

if u want to get them gifts, get them happy season gifts. they shouldnt object to that.