My husband cheated on me. I can't get over it but, I cn't stop loving him and doing things for him. He saved my life 6 years ago but, now it feels like he is killing my inside. I think I love him because he saved me but, I really need to stop loving him. So, how does that happen because I really need to move on without him in my life.
2007-11-01 07:59:52 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hold it over his head and make him do anything you want.
"You cheated on me...eat my coochie tonight!"
Maybe you should sleep around, that will help you get over it.
2007-11-01 09:37:00 · answer #1 · answered by One Bad Mama Jama 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Two things come to mind. first, you love the person who saved you 6 years ago but that is a different person from the one who cheated on you, and next you do not necessarily stop loving that person but tell yourself that you can not trust him, or her, and move on to find someone willing to love you and not feel the need to cheat.
Try counseling first to see if that helps. There is a difference between a person who deliberately cheats and someone who makes a bad decision and while you can't forgive the first one, with counseling you may be able to get past the second one by forgiving him and moving on if it means that you can get back the happiness and have future happiness together.
If he doesn't agree to the counseling, he must have been the one who deliberately cheated and while you still love him, you have to love yourself more and not stay in a relationship where there is no trust. It will be hard but you will find someone else to love and who loves you in return but don't get into another relationship until you have accepted that it is over with this guy and you realize that the person you loved died when he cheated on you. Good luck and I hope you find happiness.
2007-11-01 08:19:49 · answer #2 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately love doesn't have a stop button. It doesn't have a start button either. Love comes and leaves as it pleases.
You can move on even if love is still there. If he is still cheating and you do not have any other options to change things ... then move away from him. It will hurt but it will be better than repeatedly getting hurt for the rest of your life.
However, since your love is still strong in your heart... I hope you will explore all other options to reconcile and save your marriage. Divorce should be considered as an option only when all other doors are closed.
May your heart be strong and life be kind...
2007-11-01 08:16:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've been in love with the same guy for five years. You can't forget your first love. You just can't. Sometimes it just takes another guy to come along and show you how much better he is than your old boyfriend. There is nothing you can do to try to help you move on. Don't go on dates just because you want to forget about him; it would be unfair for your date and you would be doing a disservice to yourself. For you maybe it just takes more time. Try to meet new people, but don't jump right in immediately. Take things slow, and just let whatever happens happen. Travel, see the world, experience new places. Write about what happened to you; it may be the best way to confront your feelings. Moving on is different for everyone. You just have to find what is best for you and maybe you haven't found it yet.
2016-04-11 09:06:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, does this mean you are divorced already or just thinking on it?
Well, you can forgive and stay together but, unfortunately I also choose to forgive and it happened again 5 years later.
It takes time to get over the pain and heartache of a divorce, I've read that it is worse than a death. I believe that!
Time is the key....
Also, my ex did a huge favor for me 6 + years ago because now I am married to THE most wonderful man in the world.
I wouldnt have it any other way.
God bless.
2007-11-01 08:07:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good luck! I've been divorced three years and still can't seem to get over him. I know I need to, I know it's been tearing me apart inside and it's unhealthy. With all that said, isn't it true if you love someone, you just love them. I am to the point that I've been trying real hard to get over him and that hasn't worked so I guess now it's a matter of just learning to live with out him. It's not easy, although some people don't seem to have any problem what so ever doing it, I haven't found the answer.
2007-11-01 08:05:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to really ask yourself what it is that you really want?
You said your vows and no matter what, you should stick by what you said on the day of your wedding.
Marriages are supposed to last forever, and no matter what happens, the important things is that you still have each other.
Everything can and will be overcomed in a marriage. The question is whether you both will overcome it or just you by yourself.
The best way to get oversome is to focus on yourself. You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else.
Good luck.
2007-11-01 08:08:28 · answer #7 · answered by Tung 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Lets be honest here......your feelings will not change over night, but they WILL. I am was going through the same situation almost a year ago.
The best thing to do right now is be around family and friends. Keep yourself busy......its even o.k to cry sometimes. DO NOT rush into another relationship!!! And have NO contact with him AT ALL!!!!!! (NO text, email, picture, nothing)
Us "women" have a problem remembering the good times in a relationship and that keeps us in the state of mind..."o, i still love him"
YOU have to remember what he has done to you. HE CHEATED!! He allowed another women to come into you'll relationship and destroyed your trust!!
You have 2 choice's here: You can try and work it out.....and try to gain that trust you lost in him rrrrrrrr let go....move on....and find someone that will love you unconditionaly.
Me? Once you cheat....your no good in my book
2007-11-01 08:18:23 · answer #8 · answered by yellowb 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Nobody can tell you how to do that. Until you decide it's time to move on you'll be the way you are. All of the advice you could possibly get won't work for you until you decide to let everything go and move on by yourself, for yourself. You have to accept that you need to look after you and you only. It takes a long time.. trust me....it's been 4 years for me and I can't seem to let it go. I understand that I need to but it just isn't happening.
2007-11-01 10:23:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to stop loving him in order to move on with your life....He is the one who cheated and betrayed you so you don't have to feel like you owe him anything for saving your life...You were the one who was faithful and loyal to him... You need to now focus on YOU...Start putting yourself first and thinking about your needs....You deserve to be happy without feeling guilty for loving someone you thought was committed to you....I wish you all the best!
2007-11-01 08:45:52 · answer #10 · answered by Yvette D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thank God for sending him to you to be saved but dont waste your love on that reason. There's someone out there more worthy of it for the right reason. Forgive and move on.
2007-11-01 08:09:14 · answer #11 · answered by justkeepinitreal 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋