What do you think of this program for libs who complain about treatment of detainees?

Question

A lady liberal wrote a lot of letters to the White House
complaining about the treatment of a captive insurgent (terrorist)
being held in Guantanamo Bay.

She received back the following reply:

The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, D.C. 20016

Dear Concerned Citizen,

Thank you for your recent letter roundly criticizing our treatment
of the Taliban and Al Qaeda detainees currently being held at Guantanamo
Bay, Cuba.

Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opinion
was heard loud and clear here in Washington. You'll be pleased to learn
that, thanks to the concerns of citizens like yourself, the Department of Defense
is creating a new division of the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called the
"Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers" program, or "LARK" for
short.

In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have
decided to place one terrorist under your personal care. Your personal detainee
has been selected and scheduled for transportation under heavily armed
guard to your residence next Monday. Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud
(you can just call him Ahmed) is to be cared for pursuant to the
standards you personally demanded in your letter of complaint.

It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant
caretakers. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of
care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommended in
your letter.
Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that
your sensitivity to what you described as his "attitudinal problem" will
help him overcome these character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in
describing these problems as mere cultural differences. We understand
that you plan to offer counseling and home schooling.

Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand
combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or
nail clippers. We advise that you do not ask him to demonstrate these
skills at your next yoga group. He is also expert at making a wide variety of
explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to
keep those items locked up, unless (in your opinion) this might offend
him.

Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your daughters (except
sexually), since he views females as a subhuman form of property. This
is a particularly sensitive subject for him and he has been known to show
violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the new dress
code that he will recommend as more appropriate attire. I'm sure you will come
to enjoy the anonymity offered by the burka -- over time. Just remember
that it is all part of "respecting his culture and his religious beliefs" --
wasn't that how you put it?

Thanks again for your letter. We truly appreciate it when folks like
you keep us informed of the proper way to do our job. You take good
care of Ahmed - and remember...we'll be watching.

Good luck!

Cordially, your friend,

Don Rumsfeld.

Answer 1

PERFECT......let the libs help them like they say is best....and after they get killed there will no longer be critics of the treatment these scum really deserve....

Answer 2

Liberal icons? Brittany is a GW Bush supporter and the Hilton family has long been hard core Republicans (Paris parents are John McCain donators).

Answer 3

I keep thinking of an Abraham Lincoln quote and have modified it for modern times: When someone comes out in favor of detention (or waterboarding), I should like to see it tried upon him personally.

As for the detaineees: Charge them with a crime or release them. They have not had access to lawyers. They do not know why they are being held. At a minimum, they deserve that right. You would not want to be captured and held in a facility without knowing why, would you?

Remember, the rights we liberals are screaming about, we're trying to protect you guys, too.

Answer 4

Most Americans don't mind putting terrorist in jail or prison. But most libs recognize that there are people in Gitmo who don't have a clue what they're being charged with and have been denied legal representation.
Would it be ok with you if you were in the wrong place, at the wrong time and found yourself in a prison for half a decade, and still didn't know what you were charged with?
EVERYONE deserves to know why they're being put in prison, even terrorists.

Answer 5

I've got a better, simpler idea. Charge 'em and try 'em or let them go. BTW, you and Rumsfeld are pompous idiots.

Answer 6

LOL



Good ole Donny ought to be detained. I hear he's a bit masochistic. He might actually enjoy the experience.

Answer 7

Just a pity that my conscience forbids me to suggest
Gitmo as obviously considerable treatment for YA trolls.
Cheers.

Answer 8

I could see Don Rumsfeld writing that.

Answer 9

I like the idea, I would also like "adopt a lazy azz moocher" program or "adopt a 'poor' middle class 25 yr old kid and pay thei healthcare" program.

Answer 10

I think your "letter" is a fraud, just like bush.