my favorite cousin in the world is married to this guy who drinka alot and god knows what else he does well she is absoultely gorgeous shes dominican but really white with curly blonde hair and the sweetest green eyes and has a huge ***...like guys would kill for her plus shes a sweet heart whos up for anything and loves to have fun. she was 5 months pregnant and her husband beat her so bad she lost the baby.i feel so sad.i havent spoken to her becasue i heard it through thhe grapevine and dont know what to say.......i just want so much better for her but i guess she has to want ot forherself all her life her parents everyone has treated her like crap when will it all end for her. shes a sweet heart who wouldnt hurt a fly i love her so much
2007-11-01 07:39:29 · 36 answers · asked by love 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i spoke to her a lil while ago and shes still with him they were lying down together and playing with each other uuuuuuggghhh it makes me sick
2007-11-01 11:11:15 · update #1
I am sorry to tell you this , but you cant help some one until they help their self's . I had to learn the hard Way and maybe you do to . I wish her all the love in the world and will pray for her . Just be their when she needs you because the time will come , maybe not tomorrow or even next week but it will
2007-11-01 07:46:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Unfortunately she most likely has had her esteem trampled to the point where she doesn't feel worthy of anything else. She needs someone to build her up and keep reinforcing the fact of how wonderful she really is for her to actually believe. She is actually programmed right now somewhat like a being in a cult. Her husband is so afraid that she will find out how special she really is that he will do anything to keep her in her place.
I don't know what to tell you other than if you can try to get involved with just her and let her know who she is and then just keep telling her until it clicks. Hopefully it will happen before he beats her to death. No woman deserves to have a hand laid on them and this coward of a husband is lucky I'm not around.
She sounds like a wonderful woman that I would treat like a queen as she deserves.
2007-11-01 07:48:39 · answer #2 · answered by m_c_m_a_n 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to find help and get out! You should contact her and tell her that she needs to leave and help her find the courage to do that. she probably has a loss of self esteem so you can help her find that as well by being there for her as a friend. if you are in this country - U.S.A you can also go to the police station and ask why this man was not charged with that crime.
One source you can give her is listed below and she can get help there getting away from this guy and with her self esteem as well.
If everyone treated her like crap she needs someone to make her feel better about herself and you can do that. Get in touch with her and give her the support because she may need you now more than ever!!
2007-11-01 07:58:42 · answer #3 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to call the cops on him and he needs to get jail time and sentenced for murder. It doesn't matter if your drunk or get high or whatever, that's no excuse for that behavior. Look I'm no saint, I drink and I occasionally smoke marijuana (Yeah... no, no to me), but never once has violence or any sort of thing crossed my mind. If thats how he gets drunk or high he should have quit a long time ago. Obviously this guy is nothing short of an a$$hole and for that and his actions he deserves nothing more than prison time. Your cousin should also file for divorce, because if she is as good as you say she is she deserves much better than that. If she doesn't have the courage to pick up the phone and call I suggest you do, because next time it'll probably be worse, it almost always is.
2007-11-01 07:53:13 · answer #4 · answered by InFaMy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my goodness!! that is so sad maybe you could just tell her that she always has someone to talk to, are you the same age? My step brother has a mental illness and he hit his mom so hard that she lost her baby!! He is very violent yet I am the one being sent away for problem's with screaming at him?!?! Although I feel terribly bad for your cousin, maybe you should try to get her some help and try to avoid the subject!! Did the doctors determine that, that is why she lost her baby? I of course don't know your cousin and I don't know how she would respond to it but maybe you could try to get her some marriage counseling or something!! I am so sorry about this and I will deffinately keep her in my prayers!!!
2007-11-01 07:49:49 · answer #5 · answered by Angel Cullen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Someone should beat the life out of him! Sounds to me though, your cousin chooses to be there or else she wouldnt. Hopefully this will be the last time.I have a family member who is the same way, always goes back to the A$$H&*! but what you and your family need to do it let her know she has a place to go and support and help! But even if she doesnt want to press charges something needs to be done because one day he could kill her. He is a Muderer though cause He did kill a baby whether it was born or not. I have to express to you that maybe it is better he kill the baby now then kill it when it was born.
2007-11-01 07:45:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
What is your question? The only way you can help her-if she is not willing to leave him-is to let her know that you are there for her no matter what. It might take her years to actually leave him (LET'S HOPE NOT) and she needs nonjudgmental support. Maybe get her some brochures from shelters or other places she could turn to for support. If she thinks you will criticize her for staying or him for beating her she will not turn to you in the future. Just be there for her. That's all you can do until she is ready. Good Luck
2007-11-01 07:45:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Get her out now, make reports to the athorites, ask the police to do a welfare check. Make sure that these concerns are documented in case she won't leave, so that if anything happens or she finally decides to get away, they have a history on him and take take appropriate measure. Go to the authorites with all the info you know and be completely honest, maybe they can get her out.
2007-11-01 07:45:33 · answer #8 · answered by wendy a 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The husband should be arrested. Domestic violence is taken very seriously these days. If someone is arrested where I live, when they are released, there's an automatic 72 hour "Order of Protection". I'm now curious if he was arrested....I would think that would be upgraded to a felony because of the baby. Please take some action....good luck!!!
2007-11-01 07:44:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Dude needs to go to prison...end of story. If she can't get free from the guy who killed her baby, there's not much hope I'm afraid. If the maternal instinct isn't stronger than her addition to this loser, nothing else will likely work. She'll probably never leave if her baby can't shake her free from him...that's really, really sad.
2007-11-01 07:43:36 · answer #10 · answered by Night Owl 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋