How do you breakup with you lover after five years of marriage?

Question

We argue all the time and we are just not getting along and then we just end up fight ing about every thing what should I do and how should I make things better with him? He wants to be with me but I am just tired. We decided to stick in there for our 2 month old baby.

Answer 1

Well first of all, when you are married to someone, you don't have the option of just breaking up. It is called a divorce, and if all that is keeping you together is the baby that won't work either. Besides if all you do is fight and argue around her the relationship is totally unhealthy and needs to have action taken. Its not healthy for you him or the baby. Get counseling, or get moving but don't just sit around and do nothing. Marriages take alot of work and meeting half way. It also means agree to disagree. I would seek some counseling and do some work on myself and see if thre marriage can be fixable. But this also takes two willing participants. Communication is essential. Good luck to you both

Answer 2

Here we go again. You all are acting immature. Although it a common thing that couple may disagree on other tihings I probably figure out that you are both criticising each other-attacking each other personalities rather than your behaviors. Then you fall into contempt-the intention of both of you insulting and psychologically abusing each other perhaps as a result of calling each other names, hositle humor etc. Sometimes one of you turns to be stone walling- where one stops responding to each other demands, quiz etc and thus withdrawal while either one of you goes defensiveness where you feel you are victimized by your partner so that you not willing to take responsibilities for setting things rights
So the first thing to make your marriage work is first to identify those obstacles that make you fight.Focus on a solution you can both live with instead of focusing on being right or having things your way. If is money whereby one is a saver and the other one is a free spender, a better understandable communication can solve your problems peacefully. Respect each other, show appreciation, be realistic, understand that two of you ame from different family and raised differently, visualize your dreams. Don't go overhead of your husband. You all have to figure out to let the past go, hatred, anger, loose. Apologise for wrong doing and you will see you far and perfect your marriage will succeed.If

Answer 3

Is this just because of the new baby or were the problems present before the baby? I have an 11month old and was separated since he was 3 months old. I wish now that I had someone to share with all the great things going on and that I was growing closer to someone becasue of it. Not dealing with legal garbage and nightmares. This is the best and worst year of my life at the same time. Try to find what drew you two together in the first place before you give up.

Answer 4

I am sorry you are going through a rough time. I separated from my husband 6 months ago and we have a 3yr.old daughter together. You get so tired of the arguments the whole nine yards. my biggest thing was i refuse to stay together for the sake of our child. I offered to do marriage counseling and he refused, I tried so hard to make it work. My last straw was to move back in with my parents to see if maybe this would help but it only made him angrier and caused us to fight more, I finally just gave up. He filed for divorce 2 weeks ago. One thing i forgot to mention is after 2 yrs. of all the constant arguing and fighting I fell out of love with him. I still love him but i am not in love with him and you need both to make a relationship work among other things too. We have a visitation schedule worked out for our daughter and things are going very well with her adjusting. Don't stay just for the sake of your child, things will never work out. i wish you the best of luck.

Answer 5

Is it possible that you are both reacting to the change of having a 2 month old baby in the house? That can change the issues, raise tempers and cause both of you to be exhausted. Kind of like post-partum depression for both of you.

Maybe get grandma to keep the baby and go away for a nice trip. You deserve some time together to see if you can rekindle your love before you give up.

Good Luck

Answer 6

Children are never a reason to stay together, especially if you're always fighting. Why would you want to be with someone you're always fighting with anyway...life's too short, know what I mean? Besides, you don't want your child growing up thinking that constant arguing in a relationship is normal. Some people just aren't meant to be together and constant fights are always a good reason to separate. If you think couple's therapy will help, definately give it a shot. But only you know if you're in love with him and willing to try, and only you know if it's even worth the effort. Good luck.

Answer 7

I don't think you should break up, I think you really still love him, so take a break go on a cruise or a trip by yourself or with your girlfriends so you can have time to clear your head and miss him, but do not do anything stupid. When you are arguing sometimes it is good to just walk away, do not let your pride rule you, winning is not everrything just walk away.

Answer 8

Well, what you don't do is drag out the inevitable. If you done your soul searching and feel like its time to call it quits. DO you,. your husband, and your baby and favor and call it quits. Nobody wants to be around your bitterness in 20 years.

Answer 9

have you tried counseling to get to the root of the problem? If not I would try this first and than go from there.

Answer 10

Take the initiative and do something nice even if he doesn't. Do all the little things but don't over work yourself.