I am falling in love with a guy that has a very awful past. He has been in prison on several occassions, leaving him with a very bad rap sheet and record. On theother hand, he is the most kindest and generous man I know. He is however having a hard time getting a job, but whenever he gets or comes into money, he gives it all to me. I always seem to attract bad boys, thugs, or criminals. I have a degree and I hols a very important job title, an dI consider myself to be well educated. I would like a few opinions as to Am I making a mistake or am I setting myself up to settle for the first available man that comes my way? Should I keep searching or should I end this becaue I know it will not go any further.
2007-11-01 06:04:26 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Oh wow, are you talking about my ex-husband here? This is him to a tee!!
Notice, he is an EX husband now. Great guy - but not husband material.
2007-11-01 06:08:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
This is going to sound cynical, but the likelihood is that you will wind up getting burned - badly. There are exceptions to every rule of course, but it's safer to play by the rules than count on an exception, and the rule is: (a) people don't change, and (b) you cannot CHANGE or SAVE this guy. If he has been in prison on "several occasions" - you are playing with fire here.
You don't "attract" these bad-boy types. YOU are attracted to THEM (even though you may not realize it). Why? You're an excitement junkie, and these guys are exciting. Also, you think to yourself: "Oh, he's not THAT bad! He's really a sweet guy at heart. He's just misunderstood. I can HELP him get his act together." Foolishness.
Forget it, Florence Nightengale. Get yourself a good, decent man (even if he's not all that exciting) with a JOB and a FUTURE. Preferably a non-felon.
2007-11-01 06:15:37 · answer #2 · answered by Humberto 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
End it now!!!! You deserve better. SOme women just "seem" to attract Bad Men, as if they have a Neon sign flashing over their hearts!!! You are well educated, have a good job (so he should be keeping his $$ anyway for any self-improvement needs he may have) I think you are making a HUGE mistake. Why Settle????!!!!! You are cheating yourself!!! Stop looking so hard, and I am certain , someone Just for YOU , Will Come !!!! I know it gets lonely being alone, but better to be alone than to be hurt, abused, or a whole host of other negative possibilities !!! Good Luck!!! Sometimes you Must follow your Head instead of your Heart.
2007-11-01 06:20:58 · answer #3 · answered by casper 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I fell in love with a man that had a rap sheet and many jail sentences. But I still loved him and saw him for who he really was-a decent, sweet, loving, family oriented guy-who made some wrong decisions. And guess what? I've been with him for 11 years and 2 kids(one on the way too). He straighted his life out and is a great dad, husband, and provider for my family. I think that as long as deep down he is a good soul and if you think he has learned lessons from the mistakes of his past then I say go for it!
2007-11-01 06:11:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
He's been in prison not just once but "several" times and he doesn't work? I don't fall for that whole hard time getting a job thing...if someone wants to work bad enough there is always some place needing help, it may not be a management position but hey money is money. Go ahead and read your question again then answer it for yourself. The answer is obvious hunny.
2007-11-01 06:23:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Since I've been in this same situation, you are making a mistake. My only difference from you was that the guy I dated had no job and no money. He had a rap sheet that I didn't know about, and when I left him, he stalked me to the point of me having him arrested. His rap sheet is even longer now. It's been over a year and he's still in trouble. follow your head on this one, not your heart.
2007-11-01 06:30:42 · answer #6 · answered by dinny's engaged!! 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You have to determine this mans true worth.He went to prison and this is a very bad thing but it doesn't mean that he is a bad person. Many people learn from there mistakes. You sound like you are financially secure and you don't have to depend on this man to supplement your income to live comfortably. If you think that you can accept him as he is ,than why not give it a chance.
2007-11-01 06:45:11 · answer #7 · answered by Julius C 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Are you "setting yourself up to settle for the first available man that comes my way"???? Really?? If you really have to ask this question then the answer is yes.From this post it sounds like you have serious self-esteem issues. You need to work those out before you have a serious relationship with anyone.
2007-11-01 06:12:03 · answer #8 · answered by LB 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Umm i think of I sorta did. i be responsive to i became inlove in the past and as quickly as we did it yet after the relationship fell aside. I knew we couldnt be mutually yet we stored coming back to eachother and its been a multitude. I dream approximately her sometimes and characteristic those day objectives in school...its no longer even lust anymore I merely pass over her for what she became....men deff fall in love with their first.
2016-12-15 13:00:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suspect he is making money selling drugs, not from a job. He doesn't want to carry all the cash.
Only you know the real reason why you are attracted to thugs. If you don't want thugs in your life, then don't seek them out or let yourself be a victim to them.
2007-11-01 06:13:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
And what do you have in common? Can you talk to him about your work? Your school experience?
People don't go to prison for no reason. What are the chances that he ends up there again? What was he there for anyway?
I think you are asking for trouble. Don't ruin your life. He has been to jail on a several occasions!!! Several! That tells me all.
2007-11-01 06:10:23 · answer #11 · answered by terliuke 5 · 3⤊ 2⤋