We were together for about 10 years in total and he only worked off and on, i ended up paying the bills and he managed to help me get into debt, He was 7 years older than me and i met him at 17, he used to take money out the joint account no matter what we had to pay, i had 2 loans to help us, credit cards etc. We split up in the March05 but i continued to support him till the house was sold in the October 05 and he transfered all the £42,000 from the joint account and left me with £300 he'd borrowed to pay the solicitors bill. we owed my parents a couple of grand as well and he said he'd pay them but he hasn't,i'm now being chased for a gas bill that i didn't even know was in my name, my parents helped pay some of the debts to the CCj's i had, what can i do, i was to scared of him to do anything before. I've had about £16,000 worth of debt to pay off, i've bad credit now and can't get my own house now or any credit, and i feel so bad that my parents had to use their savings to help me
2007-11-01 05:30:21 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
In the extremely unlikely event you'll be able to find him (blokes like this tend to do a vanishing act and move on to the next con victim) there's virtually nothing you can do. My wife had a similar problem with an ex of hers and it took her 7 years to get herself anywhere near back on her feet....
2007-11-01 05:47:35 · answer #1 · answered by eriverpipe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
depending on what state you are in you definetely can. When a couple lives together but not married for long periods of time. the law protects you like you were a marriage. So right now get yourself a lawyer and explain all that has occured and hopefully you have keep record of all the debt and the fact that took care of him financially for so long.
And now let this be a lesson to you that you should never, ever do this for any other man. Its obvious he took advata of your kidness and your $$. But learn from your mistakes. Besides this was is not what good man does. A good man works with you side by side and helps.
Good luck
2007-11-01 06:04:58 · answer #2 · answered by sweetsarah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See a lawyer and see if you can shift some debt responsibility to him also , if now he has good income you may be able to get "Palimony".
In some countries you would be considered as good as married, the term is "Common law marriage".
So may be able to file for alimony also.
Looks like he absconded with your money from the sell of the property, that is a day light robbery, so using a good lawyer or legal aid go after that money.
May need to hire a PI to find the money (where it is in which bank or under the mattress). May have to find him first.
Get a judgement in absentia.
2007-11-01 05:42:30 · answer #3 · answered by minootoo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry to tell you but your screwed unless you take him to court asap, because after a year the court wont bother with it usually and i hope you have a lot of proof of him doing all this for the court to see! How dare him what a pig! You are a very brave girlt o let him survive off you like that! I hope you get that taken care of and make him pay you back asap, I would get a attorney and go to court if you have documents and proof that this all happened.
Good luck!
2007-11-01 05:35:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You weren't on the deed or mortgage & you weren't married.
Seems to me that you made some bad choices and legally, there's nothing you can do to get money back from him.
Sorry.
BTW... money can be withdrawn from a joint account by one person. That's the risk you take when you open a joint account & the reason you won't get money back from the court. Get free advice from a lawyer. If you decide to take him to court be sure that you've chosen a lawyer that won't see a dime unless there's a settlement in your favor becaue you most likely won't win.
2007-11-01 05:34:52 · answer #5 · answered by Jennield 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry Honey but I don't think you have much chance. You could try a solicitor and see what they have to say but I think you would have to have solid proof. Learn from your mistakes. Make arrangements with the company's you owe money to. If you live in the UK you can go to the Citizens advice bureau as they do debt advice.
Good luck
2007-11-01 05:49:24 · answer #6 · answered by sickofthis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you could take him to small claims court , but that takes time and there is very little they can do for you since you were not married to him. the only thing that can be done is to look for him and ask him to pay you back all the money that he took from your joint bank acccount. he may refuse to give you any of the money back since you say that he worked on and off so his income may not be steady. im sorry to say this but i think you will never see that money again, all you can do is learn from this and hope you can make wiser choices in the future and try to get your financial situation under control by building uo your credit and getting rid of all your debt. im so sorry that this prick made you go through all this its totally not fair. and love can be blind sometimes , that may be the reason why you didnt hesitate to pay the bills by yourself sometims. but its ok just move on with your life and money comes and goes just like men. dont give up, i believe in karma and he will get whats coming to him and it aint going to be pretty.
best of luck
2007-11-01 05:41:58 · answer #7 · answered by cs2005 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Really a partner should be there for you when you are having a difficult time. That is what relationships are all about. Its understanding he is hesitant becaus he may feel that if you through another patch then you may push him away again. Read here https://tr.im/GDCSv
I am going through something similar, but she hasnt made any contact to come back to me, and I know even though I may want her, I would be hesitant because of the possibility of going through the same thing again.
I dont know how long you have been apart, but dont pester him to get back with you, although it would be good for you to let him know your feelings, and that you are sorry for pushing him aside.
If he is willing to chat, then great, if he is reluctant, just offer to be a friend maybe, but you have to know that it does not mean he will come back to you.
He will care about you, even after what iv gone through...feelings dont just dissapear no matter what he may say. Stick in there. only time will tell.
If you get another chance, then make the most of it and never let him go awain because if you do, he will never come back. I really hope it works out for you. Its a difficult thing to go through.
2016-07-19 21:48:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Joint accounts normally require both owners of the account to sign for the release of money. You could take him to court for the sum of £42,000. But on most events you'll probably end up with a 50/50 split of the sum. Leaving you with a nice £21,000. But before doing so, i would contact your lawyer to consider a demand of off your ex boyfriend.
Hope this is helpfull.
Regards,
M. Penry.
2007-11-01 05:39:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your only recourse is Small Claims Court.
Be sure if you choose this method that you have all of your paperwork in order, all the dates times and amounts showing what was done. Be thorough, leave no stone unturned.
This method can be slow and painstaking but normally the bad guy will always loose, especially if you have a good lawyer, and not a sleeper.
Good Luck.
Don
2007-11-01 05:40:01 · answer #10 · answered by Don M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋