The following is something that happens on a regular basis with a couple that hubby and I are friendly with. The four of us ( couple, hubby and I) will be visiting in the kitchen for example. Hubby will leave the room to get something, and as soon as he leaves, the guy ( guy friend in other couple) will start kissing and hugging and groping around on his wife like they are suddenly alone ( I am still there! ) in the room. Its like all extreme pda all of a sudden and I feel uncomfortable like I should leave the room or something. Should I leave the room, like pretend to go fetch something, or make "ahem" noises, or continue to stand there uncomfortabley. Its odd, it happens very regularly ( the guy is a lifelong friends of my hubbys so I dont want to just be rude). And as soon as hubby comes back, they are all normal again. WTH? Why do they do this when he leaves, stop when he returns, act like Im not there even. What should I do in the future when this happens? Its kind of gross.
2007-11-01 05:27:51 · 23 answers · asked by undone 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My guess is they are excited at the idea of being watched. Perhaps they think your hubby might interrupt them by saying something, maybe even embarrass them. But since you stand back quietly, they enjoy the silence. By you not saying anything, they may even think that you secretly enjoy it. Do not feel like you have to leave the room because of the way someone else is acting, unless you are at their house. If it's your house, they should be respectful of your house rules.
Why is it so gross anyways? Shouldn't you be turned on by it? Shouldn't you feel a little jealous? Shouldn't you be wishing that your hubby would start mugging down with you in a similar fashion?
2007-11-01 05:58:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell your husband about it and have him talk to his friend. If they were lifelong friends of yours I would suggest handling it yourself, but considering he is a friend of your husband then just tell you husband that this behavior is bizarre in your opinion and it makes you very uncomfortable. Your husband will surely see you point of view. I do and I do not even know you. Ya know? Just tell your husband that you do not want to put a wedge in the friendship, but that this extreme PDA makes you feel awkward and you do not know what to do when they start doing it. Also, explain to him your curiosity about why they do not do this in front of him...only you! I think the first answer may hold some truth. They are obviously doing this in front of ONLY you for a reason. Anyway, just talk to your husband and have him handle it from there. I would talk to him before the next time the 4 of you are together and then maybe you will not have to worry about leaving the room because if hubby handles it maybe they will stop doing this all together. Good Luck!
2007-11-01 06:09:44 · answer #2 · answered by whatshername 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like this couple may be interested in a threesome with you....Which is a BAD IDEA by the way.....If they are fairly good friends tell them that their PDA is making you a bit uncomfortable....after all it is your house.....and if that doesn't work you could just leave the room when hubby leaves you alone with them....If all else fails....mention this to your hubby and have him talk with his life long friend about their behavior...
2007-11-01 05:34:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, tell your hubby about it. he may know somehting about his lifelong friend that you don't.
And next time it happens, politely clear your throat and ask them if they would like for you to give them a few minutes alone or something. That will politely let them know that you are bothered by thier behavior. If it keeps up just leave the room when they start up. Some people have no shame. lol
2007-11-01 05:32:18 · answer #4 · answered by jimapalooza 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all you need to express hoiw uncomfortable it makes you. Really though it sounds to me like they both think your attractice and have talked about having a threesome with you. I also think you need to tell your hubby what is going on.
Personally though when your hubby leaves the room accompany him that way you erase the whole scenario form even happening.
Maybe your husband is a secret swinger and is trying to get you to express the possibility?.
JUST LEAVE THE ROOM!
2007-11-01 05:42:43 · answer #5 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A. Does your husband know they act this way out of his sight? If he does know.. why does he insist on still seeing them?
B. Do they do this in your home and do you allow it? Do not invite them over and explain why.
C. Have you asked them why they do this though it obviously makes you very uncomfortable?
D. It is gross and proves they have no respect for you or themselves.
E. Drop them as friends and hurry. Very weird. For all you know if this is occuring in their home they may be filming your reactions for some weird use on the net. People CAN be very weird. Drop them. Hurry.
F. Honesty is an extremely useful tool of communication.
2007-11-01 05:35:06 · answer #6 · answered by Lisa of America 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think they might be throwing litte hints your way....like wanna join? type of a thing.
next time they do that just say, "ok, ill leave you two alone" and walk away. that way, they will feel bad. or you can just joke about it and say, "hello guys, i am still here."
i have to agree with you, that is an awkward and uncomfortable situation. i wouldnt blame u if you just walked out on them.
have you told your hubby? maybe he can handle the situation. since it's his friend.
2007-11-01 05:41:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The next time it happens just ask, do you guys not worry ____ may walk back into the room? Just see what they say. If they are doing it right there in front of you then I feel like it's open for discussion. Or you could simply say "I'm friends with all of you, how about stop putting me in the middle, do it on your own time". It's not rude, they are the ones being rude.
2007-11-01 05:38:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yeah I would certainly do the Ahem noise or something to let them know that you are uncomfortable or leave the room. But just standing there watching them, kind of encourages them to continue the behavior. It sounds like they are trying to invite you into their relationship, but you need to make it clear to them you aren't interested and that they are over stepping your boundaries
2007-11-01 05:36:22 · answer #9 · answered by ?? yaddajean ?? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think they are giving you a hint. They want a 3some with you. Talk to your hubby and tell him how it makes you feel. I would leave the room and if they say anything to you about it tell them if you want to watch porn you would do it at your house not in their kitchen.
2007-11-01 08:41:22 · answer #10 · answered by irishlady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋