But every time I hit redial on his phone his wifes # is on his phone.We each have our own homes.l feel like he's living a double life.If I am right I want to end the relationship.I am not looking for marriage but need trust.I hate to accuse if I am wrong.Any ideas?
2007-11-01 05:11:17 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He has been living apart from his wife for 8yrs.
2007-11-01 05:22:31 · update #1
I don't understand why some couples live apart and never file for a divorce. My daughter inlaws mother and father have the same situation for 15 years now? He lives on his own and still has her covered on his insurance. She has a child by a man that she lived with and he is out of the picture now.......but she pays the husband the difference for her daughter to be covered under his insurance to. They have no physical relationship and are not in love. So I do realize that these situations do happen. It would be very difficult for someone to feel comfortable getting involved with a man that does not legally end things and it goes undone for years. The only thing you can do is talk with your friend and tell him how you are feeling. I would not worry about how he would look at things because it would be better to bring things out in the open....and deal with it there than for you to go on wondering about things. Talk about the trust here and just be honest and find out how long things are going to take for him to get divorced. Let him know that all this is going on so long and that you would feel better in being with him and enjoying life with him when the connection to his wife legally is truly over. I understand how all this would make you feel because you do care for him and need for him to be honest ....after all this time with him you only deserve for him to be truthfull if you are having doubts. I would bring all your emotions and feelings out about his situation and what comes up everytime you hit redial on his phone. You have to so you will know what decisions you have to make concerning your relationship with him. Take care and I hope everything works out for you.
2007-11-01 05:50:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Honey I feel your pain b/c you truly love this man but unfortunately he doesn't love you or he would not still be married to someone else for 6 years. He would get a divorce, cut all ties with his wife, and do whatever else it takes to be with you the way you deserve.
Married men who cheat on their wives always have some justification or excuse but the fact is, it's still cheating. They always give excuses for not getting divorced-- timing is not right, they don't want it to be messy, it's too expensive, they're staying together for the kids, she's going through a hard time, etc. etc. etc. -- but it's all BS. Just words. Just excuses.
Honey actions speak louder than words. You know he is still married (doesn't matter the reason), you know he still calls his wife (doesn't matter the reason), and you know you can't trust him. Therefore, don't listen to anything he says, just get out of there and move on, find a single man who is available to give you what you deserve. Good luck.
2007-11-01 05:24:35 · answer #2 · answered by nadia_j 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Personally you are being played no a days you can file for divorce on your own. Him giving the excuse that he can't afford it should be a red flag.
Personally if you have any morals why would you stay with someone for 6yrs if they are not even legally divorced from his first wife. If he can afford to pay a mortgage on his house he can afford to get divorced.
Maybe it is time to tell him that you need to put the breaks on your relationship until he gets divorced that you dating a married man has started to eat away at you emotionally.
If he says he cannot afford to do this then tell him that you cannot afford to spend anymore time on this relationship.
Caution he may still have feelings for his ex and may consider reconciliation.
Best wishes and Good Luck.
2007-11-01 05:37:10 · answer #3 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Hit redial and call his wife! Find out "from the horse's mouth" so to speak! After conversation with her, you should be able to determine if he is indeed living a double life, if he is then power to you! She deserves to know and so do you....you can both ditch the loser.
If you are wrong, apologize and be honest with him.... it's difficult to be in a relationship with a married man for 6 years with no signs of divorce. Seeing her number on his phone every time you hit redial gives some concern, etc. Let him know you love him but you don't want to be stupid about this, and you needed proof so you could quit driving yourself crazy!
2007-11-01 05:23:33 · answer #4 · answered by Betty 4 · 3⤊ 2⤋
"still married due to finances" is another way to say you are his play toy and there is no need to go through a messy expensive divorce if you are willing to be his girlfriend for free. You are being taken for a sucker just like ever other single chick dating a married man. Gee I bet you are 10+ years younger than him also. Tell him you will never see again unless he gets the divorce now. That will tell you how much he loves you.
2007-11-01 05:16:11 · answer #5 · answered by javelin 5 · 6⤊ 0⤋
I know how much it sucks to be blinded by love. I disagree with the first person that answered. Divorces can cost a lot, depending on the man's situation. However, it will only get more expensive as time passes, so that can't be a valid excuse. Also why would he call his "ex" wife so much. Do they have kids? Do the kids live with her and maybe that's who he is calling. If your questioning your situation right now (which you should), it's because you may know in your heart that your getting played. Does he live alone, or with his wife? I think many times the answers are right in front of us, we just choose not to see them. Good Luck!
2007-11-01 05:24:06 · answer #6 · answered by Lenka 3 · 2⤊ 3⤋
If they have really been living apart for 8 years, that seems like plenty of time to come up with divorce money. Something isn't adding up. Move on!!
2007-11-01 06:31:26 · answer #7 · answered by whattodo? 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to be with someone who is still married no matter what his reasoning? What makes you think he would not do the same to you? So you are the "other" woman and you know this? Take a moment and ask if this is really what you want. Respect yourself enough to let him go. You will only be hurt if you stay. If you were talking to your daughter and she was asking your question what would you be telling her right now? I think you KNOW what to do you are choosing NOT to do it. And at what cost?
2007-11-01 05:23:45 · answer #8 · answered by pkgfinder 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
are you kidding?
he's married. he wants to be with her. if he were going to leave her he would have done so already.
when you are the OTHER woman--you are not the ONLY woman. (he could have ten other girls out there... just like you, waiting at home for him to come over--calling his phone and having the wife answer.)
it has nothing to do with finances--he wants his cake and the frosting.
wifey at home for stability and you for his piece on the side. if he loved you at all--he wouldn't still be married. you are being used. open your eyes, before it destroys your life.
2007-11-01 05:19:32 · answer #9 · answered by sxyvxn79 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
It does not cost that much to get a divorce. He more than likely is leading a double life. I cannot believe you stuck around for six years, I would have moved on after six months if he didn't divorce her. Move on.
2007-11-01 05:14:18 · answer #10 · answered by Brittney 6 · 5⤊ 1⤋