If $ was not a concern would you rather be a stay at home mom or work? and does my wife have the right to comp

Question

You have 3 kids 2 in schooll till 2:30pm
1 baby 9 months (boy)
you have cleaning women once a week.
you have money to spend.
Does my wife have the right to complain?

She does not want to work she just complains its too much on her and
she wants me to help out 100% of the time I am not working.

She wants full time nanny and cleanning people 3 times a week. And me to watch the kids when ever I am home
and to clean the hose and order in food every night. She only cooks 1 time a week its too much on her. I once told her I wanted a hot meal she said you better pick it up on your way home.

Answer 1

She sounds post partum which may be the cause of her disorganization more than anything. Get her to her regular gynecologist for her regular check up..make sure the doctor hears your concerns.. you know her better than anyone else.

Men simply have no idea how having mutiple children can affect a womans hormones at all. Post partum depression is a fact and not fiction. Look it up. Each time a women has a child.. there is that much taken away from her unless she is very very well fed and I do not mean fats or fast foods etc.. I mean a fantastic diet .. regular check ups etc....

Hormones..men and womens.. control how we think emotionally etc. Get her to the doctor.

Answer 2

Depends on whats shes complaining about. If shes staying at home to look after kids, which in itself is a full time job, she also would have other (her own) needs that need tending to as she probably is too busy with the needs of others. For instance she would probably like some adult conversation when you get home from work, intimacy, companionship, love, sex etc. Maybe she complains that the two of you dont have enough "together" time or get a babysitter and go on dates anymore. Or, could it be that she wants a nite out a week just for her and her friends and you aren't willing to pick up the slack and look after the kids for the evening? It would probably be good for her to get a p/t job, something that she enjoys on days or evenings when you're able to care for the kids and spend daddy-time with them. She will feel more fulfilled with her life and probably be happier too. $ cant buy you happiness. You can have all the materialistic things and all the $ you want, but if you are lonely inside, it means nothing. At least you have the insight to realize that something is wrong with the picture, and can try and fix it before its too late.

Answer 3

What is she complaining about? She probably NEEDS some "time out" from the Baby and even the other 2 kids that are in school. A woman can feel like she is isolated ( From the ADULT World) at times, when left at home. I'm sure she enjoys all you do and provide for her and your family. She probably just needs something to get her OUT of the house at least once a week. Socialiazing is a MUST. Anyone can get quickly "depressed" when they start feeling trapped. Try to Really Listen to what exactly her "complaints" are, I think you'll hear some of what I've said. Good Luck !!

Answer 4

Money and material things are not everything in a relationship...if I were a millionaire with a full time housekeeper and nanny I would have a right to complain if my husband treated me poorly or cheated or was abusive...you get the idea.

As for what I would "rather" do...I think being a "stay at home" mom is important in the early years of a childs life...they need this development with a parent devoted to them full time. Once they are in school, I see no problem with wanting to work part-time or even full-time if you are still able to provide a stable family environment.

Answer 5

If she is complaining then there's a problem.....Something that you are not stating or something she is not telling you....But, being a housewife is sometimes more stressful then going out and working....The 9 month old needs alot of nuturing and attention....The children do come home and she has homework to do with them... The cleaning lady is only once a week so she still has to tidy up the house..If she is preparing dinner that has to go into the schedule as well...Sometimes not everything is as easy as it sounds....Be patient and help her out too...She's may be complaining for reasons you may not see or understand....

Answer 6

wow a cleaning lady and everything. I don't have kids so I can't really say anything but from what I've seen/heard kids are hard work and can really stress you out. If you spend time with her and the kids and she has all this other stuff she shouldn't complain; however, if some of her needs are not being met be it sexual or emotional she is going to make sure you know about it. I don't know. To me, sounds like you two are living the american dream, I wish that was my life. Good luck

Answer 7

I am a stay at home mommy and you know, I wouldn't have it any other way, it's simple. We downsized our house, have no car b/c we were throwing $500/month on a vehicle and it was an easy solution to just suck up and sacrifice some things until our kids are both in school full-time. Not going to lie, it's darn hard at times and I second the motion often but I quickly recant when I get such good compliments for my kids knowing that i have something to do with child rearing them personally.

Answer 8

woman can have everything and still find something to complain about, get used to it..lol
If she wants to work, then let her work, if she dosnt and you dont care if she dosnt then she dosnt.
i just quit my job (which i loved) and am a stay at home mom again. i like it but im bored, i enjoyed working

IN Addition to your new comments:
Your wife sounds spoiled and lazy and is taking advantage of the money you have. Not sure if this will get better for her unless you move her into a shack, take away the money and let her try living off the bare necessitys like alot of us do on a daily basis. Dont hire a nanny if she is capable of watching them, dont order take out if she is capable of cooking. Let her know that if she wants to be a house wife, then she can act like one. Why should someone else raise your kids or cook you supper when you both are not working

Answer 9

Heck no, I would have loved to have had a cleaning lady once a week, once a month would have been good, lol. Is she bored at home? Does she want to go to work? Maybe compromise, take the money she spends and the cleaning lady money and find daycare. Give her that option, she may need to be reminded of how good she has it.

Answer 10

Sometimes you have to put her shoes on your feet and visa versa. I mean me personally, I work 2 jobs and somedays I am ever so grateful I am employeed. I mean wow my kids would drive me crazy, plus just sitting at home all day gets really boring. Sometimes you want to feel like you have contributed to the house, or you just plain need a break from the kids. I mean going to work for me gives me some sanity some days. I personally don't understand how some women do the stay at home mom thing. Cause I certainly would loose my mind.