Question Details: I always am attracted to bad boys ie players etc. I was married at the age of 18 to a really horrible man who put me through physical and mental torment for 5 years. We had a son and now my son is 7 years old. We are divored for 3 years. Then I met my ex boyfriend who was just put me through the mental torment for 3 years. I am 27 now and really think I should try to sort my life out for my son. I met someone online who I like a lot but they don't want things going forward and my family have found a good honest hardworking man for me. He is comming all the way from Holland to see me on Saturday. He wants to marry me! I really dont know what to do. My heart says one thing and my head says another.
Please help me!
Thank you for all your answers it will be helpful!
2007-11-01 03:47:43 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
He is a Dutch national so does not need a passport and is very wealthy!
2007-11-01 03:53:31 · update #1
How old is he? did you ever see pictures of him? Has your Family Really told you much about him beside honest and hard working? Have they talked to you about this or just trying to push something on you?
Bad things have happened and even the pushiest Families mean well sometimes? They might get upset with you sometimes but I'm sure they really Love You and just want to do the Best for You! You have really had a hard time for the last 8 years, Maybe now it will get better?
Good Luck Dear!....................Keep in touch!
2007-11-01 05:29:51 · answer #1 · answered by sidecar0 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you truly believe you need assistance finding a good husband AND that IS what you want, perhaps an arranged marriage may be best. If undecided, meet with the Hollander and decide then.
I thought I picked good guys and never worked out. After many years of abuse from one or another, I finally raised my son alone. Extremely difficult to have main necessities AND QUALITY time with son. Result: I have a great son who is now 36 years old. I am 10 years short of retirement with NO retirement fund, no permanent home (not paid for) and alone.
Satisfaction of my son turning out great BECAUSE of the struggles and putting him first was my main life's goal. In the meantime, my life had turned into an existence. So:
What is your main goal?
2007-11-01 03:57:12 · answer #2 · answered by Carole Q 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
really think you should have a bit of "time out" from men for a while. concentrate on yourself and your son and forget about men, at lease for a while.
i think some woman feel the need to always be in a relationship and therefore go with the first man who gives them a second look, you could be insecure or lonely, and probably with every right considering the experiences you have had with men.
learn from what you have been through and give yourself a break for a while. go and enjoy your life for a couple of years with your son, afterall you are still young and have plenty of time to find a more suitable man to share your life with when you are good and ready.
2007-11-01 04:36:43 · answer #3 · answered by missgeorge 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1) he's coming in from Holland - would you and your son have to move to holland? what impact would that have on your life, and your son's?
2) the UK is big - heck, London is big - you and your family can't find a decent man in the area? I find that hard to believe. (I'm not saying it's easy, I'm just saying there have to be some good men in the area.)
3) have you and the man from Holland met before, or is this the first time meeting? how well do you know him?
2007-11-01 03:56:39 · answer #4 · answered by Spartacus! 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First things first. Quit relying on men to take care of you. You have a son and that is the guy who should be number 1 in your life. You need to be able to take care of yourself and your son before you jump into another relationship. Obviously you don't have the best of judgment if you have gotten yourself into two abusive relationships. You definitely don't need to marry some man your family says is a good man. People hid all kinds of things behind closed doors. You never know what his secret is. Quit dating losers and subjecting your son to seeing his mother unhappy and maybe even abused.
2007-11-01 03:56:15 · answer #5 · answered by Fool in the Rain 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You have to be kidding? You should trust your gut and not do anything too crazy like getting married immediately. Let's look at the benefits for you...a guy. Let's look at his benefits...a wife that wants to be with someone, moving to the u.s. w/o a job, oh yeah citizenship too. Do you even know what this guy looks like? Are you sure it's really him? You know that if he is flying in from another country he's going to want some things from you. That's a lot of money and who really has the time to do that? I would be on your guard big time.
2007-11-01 03:55:33 · answer #6 · answered by low1sk8er 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not - and I do hope you have not given him your home address. Do meet on mutual territory and don't invite him to your home or go with him to his hotel room.
Think of your son.
Yes a good idea to get you sorted out before another relationship begins.
Re your additional details - that is what he has told you.
2007-11-01 03:53:38 · answer #7 · answered by Jewel 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
your best bet is to stay away from all men until you get your life back on track. I should know i was once in your shoes and it took me almost 20 years for me to say i do for the second time and to trust men again. GOOD LUCK
2007-11-01 03:53:58 · answer #8 · answered by peggy s 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Before you make another committment, you really do need to get your life together. I suggest you go see a counsellor, just to get you started on the process of healing from your last two relationships.
2007-11-01 03:59:40 · answer #9 · answered by ♥Instantkarma♥♫ 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
you need to do what is right for you and your son.do not let anybody interfere with your life.the results could be devastating.a person marries for love not for the love of family or money.what you do today are the memories you make for your tomorrows.i will keep you in my thoughts and will pray that you make the right decision.good luck to you.
2007-11-01 12:49:57 · answer #10 · answered by CHER 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋