So I wrote this poem for my moms and I want to know what you think about it, ok? I'm gonna frame it and send it to her "just because" with a Bonsai plant if I get some good reviews. Thank you!
I miss you
When you're not around I think of your smile
I think of the way you hug me when we haven’t seen each other in a while
I’m constantly reminded of how you've made me who I am
That I shouldn’t be ashamed of me
When you're not around I think of our talks
How when you were closer we'd go for long walks
We’d stroll the mall and just have fun
Shopping till we drop and the day is done
When you're not around I think of your eyes
How they always greet me with such love and pride
In an instant I feel like a little girl
And for a moment, I feel like I’m your entire world
When you're not around sometimes I cry
Cause some days are harder than others to get by
But I get my strength from somewhere
Possibly from the knowledge that I know you care
2007-11-01 03:37:39 · 7 answers · asked by teri is ambience 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
When you're not around I know you're still there
But it’s still nice to be around you and feel your presence in the air
Your words of encouragement follow thru
So this is to remind you that I love you too
8/31/07
To: Ma’mé ha
From: Teri
2007-11-01 03:37:52 · update #1
Ok for all those that dont know dont know what "moms" mean (padmanabhans) its a slang term used amongst african americans which really means "mom". I dont ever call my mom "moms". Its just something we say okay? Sheesh! People always gotta break sh*t down like we're in grammar school. I know what the heck I wrote, thank you. I know how to speak and write proper English, I'm not illiterate and I speak intelligently. Thanks for the grammar lesson!
2007-11-01 04:01:54 · update #2
aww.. how tweet.. let me knows if she feels the same.
2007-11-01 07:08:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the poem is very lovely and expresses how much you care for her and need her.
The only change I would make is to make each stanza 5 lines with the first line being the repeated words "When You're Not Around. Like this.
When you're not around,
I think of your smile
I think of the way you hug me when we haven’t seen each other in a while
I’m constantly reminded of how you've made me who I am
That I shouldn’t be ashamed of me
But no matter how you do it, you Mom is going to love it. Very nice.
2007-11-01 11:46:57 · answer #2 · answered by ghouly05 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I am a little bit surprised by the phrase 'poem for my moms'. While the plural form of mom surprises one and all, the following letter of a mom to her son would amuse one and all. Please go through it. It is only to make you smile at it.
(Sardarji's Mom's Letter)
Dear Banta Vahe Guru !
I am in a well here and hoping you are in the same well there. I'm writing this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast.
We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20 miles.
I wont be able to send the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took the house numbers with them for their new house so they would not have to change their address. Hopefully by next week we will be able to bring our earlier address plate here, so that our address will remain same too.
This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, situated right above the commode. I'm not sure it works. Last week I put in 3 shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since.
The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days.
The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket.
Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at the cemetery.
By the way I took Bahu to our club's poolside. The manager is really badmash(a bad fellow). He told her that two-piece swimming suit is not allowed in this club. We were confused as to which piece should we remove?
Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it is a girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle.
Your uncle, Jetinder fell in a nearby well of brandy. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.
Your best friend, Balwinder, is no more. He died trying to fulfill his father's last wishes. His father had wished to be buried at sea after he died. And your friend died while in the process of digging a grave for his father.
There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.
P.S: Beta, I was going to send you some money but by the time I realized, I had already sealed off this letter.
Hope you enjoyed this mom's letter to her son.
2007-11-01 10:52:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
That's beautiful, I think she will love it...and even shed a tear!
2007-11-01 10:51:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
very beautiful I know she will love it
2007-11-01 19:56:23 · answer #5 · answered by Dan 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is very pretty good job.
2007-11-01 10:42:43 · answer #6 · answered by Gone 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
very beautiful...
2007-11-01 10:41:50 · answer #7 · answered by elchavoguapo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋