wife.I was shocked.He's quiet and talk to few ppl on the job although all the ladies love him,to me he's alwayd been very respectful.I just looked at him and got up and walked away.I felt shamed for some reason.I went back to talk to him and he said that he liked me alot and he could'nt help how he feels about me so we both decided to get a transfer to different dept to keep a hand on this.What do you think?I feel like I'm not going to transfer out the hospital,he's the one caught up in his feelings.
2007-11-01 02:49:37 · 26 answers · asked by dccuttie75 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i think you've thought this through well. what a jerk! he should never have laid that on you, he should be man enough to keep it to himself and solve the problem without burdening you.
too right you shouldn't transfer. He's the one with the crush. He should go.
2007-11-01 02:53:10 · answer #1 · answered by chilly 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I agrees with vaya3....but specifically, tell him he should be thinking about his wife and their marriage. After all, if anything were to happen between the two of you, consider this....what happened with him and his present wife could also happen to you should the two of you get together.
I am hoping that you also told him exactly how you feel...that up to that point you respected him as a co-worker, but have no respect for guys who are not loyal to their wives and mindful of their marriage commitment.
If you like your job, then he should be the one to move out. But if he continues to be a "problem" for you, and he won't make a change either in attitude or job, then consider approaching a supervisor about his unwanted attention or make a move to get control over your life rather than having this "problem" lurking around. If you are a good worker, any reasonable supervisor would want to keep you and do something to keep this guy from creating problems in the work place.
Hope this helps. Best wishes.
2007-11-01 10:02:27 · answer #2 · answered by wisdomdude 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Kudos to you! I have so much respect for your standing up for yourself! You didn't do anything wrong however, I understand why you felt ashamed. Maybe he actually thought that he was flattering you when in essence he was seeing if you were the kind of woman who would mess around with a married man. You are right he should be the one to transfer. However, history shows that some men don't handle rejection well. But you are handling this the right way. Good for you!
2007-11-01 10:07:13 · answer #3 · answered by Lana 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This guy is a problem looking for a place to happen. Let him transfer because for him, that marriage will end eventually, and the one after than and so on. Maybe all the ladies love him but that doesn't make it right. If he doesn't transfer, just make sure to be around him as little as possible and be glad that he is not your husband!!
2007-11-01 10:04:11 · answer #4 · answered by Al B 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
In 1990 I met a woman t work my first day on that shift. I was married, she was married. I can't explain how I felt when I met her, but I knew I wanted to be with her, and no not just for sex, it was a deeper feeling than that.
We started seeing each other after work and things progressed. It has been 17 years and two divorces later, but we have never been happier in our lives. Understand, neither of us was obviously happy with our lives before we met. It is possible for a man to be married and regret it.
I am not telling you to go for it, I'm just saying don't hire an attorney just yet, don't have him fired. If you don't have feelings for him, you've done the right thing and you are right, he would then be the one with the problem. However, if you do harbor feelings...well, it worked for us.
2007-11-01 09:59:41 · answer #5 · answered by Yoda 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Makes ya feel kind of unclean doesn't it? Make sure the divorce ( his) is finalized before you hook up with him. Maybe I am old-fashioned here, but I have seen many relationships go down because the man gets it in his head that he wants some variety, or whatever, so he stays married and yet sets up his mistress in a place of her own.
Tell him to get a clue.....He sounds like a player to me.
2007-11-01 09:57:00 · answer #6 · answered by Kim K 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's his problem not yours from what you said you did nothing wrong. Let him transfer departments. I'd avoid this guy like the plague. And I would talk to human resources so they are aware of the situation if anything else is said. With someone like this guy its better to be safe than sorry.
2007-11-01 09:55:48 · answer #7 · answered by ????? 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you have taken the needed action to address this situation. You need to make sure that you stay as far away from this guy as you can....If he suddenly pops up and starts to talk to you YOU NEED TO REPORT HIM!!!! IT may cost him his job but you need to live and work in a comfortable atmosphere there are alot of nice people in this world to the outward appearance but they could be mental or sick or just a predator looking for a victim.....
2007-11-01 10:03:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't talk to this guy he doesn't deserve an explanaton, except once to tell him not to speak to you ever past a professional level. If he can't abide this you should report him to a supervisor. I'm not generally a run and tattle guy, but this guy is entirely out of line. What a scum bag.
2007-11-01 09:56:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anson W 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm sure there are a dozen of your male coworkers who think of you when they're with their wives or girlfriends. That's normal for guys.
What's not normal is sharing that information. He obviously has feelings that exceed lust, and may not have those for his wife. If you wish to remain happily married, and not contribute to his divorce, you ought to keep your distance from this guy.
2007-11-01 09:59:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋