Were married couples happier when women knew there roles? or is divorce rate increase a coincidence?

Question

When the man in the house was the boss and head of the family. and women cooked and cleaned and the man went to work were people happier because they knew there roles?

Answer 1

I recently asked my 86 year old grandfather this very same question. He told me that even 70 years ago, when he married my grandmother at 16, that the man of the house WAS the head of the house in those days, and in good marriages today they are still the head of the house. This, he explained, is not an open license to do whatever he wanted, but a responsibility that must be handled fairly and flexibly. They had 8 children and while my grandmother certainly did the majority of the work and the dicipline with the children, he was her back-up. If she had dinner cooking when he came in and 2 crying babies, he would either take over with the cooking or the children, not sit on his butt watching TV or anything else, HE HELPED HER. So on this question I will say that maybe people were happier then, but not only because women knew their role but men also knew theirs, to provide for, protect and nurture their wives and children. When the women couldn't depend on their men, they had no choice but to start depending on themselves, and standing up for themselves as well. I believe that the man should be the head of the family, it says so in the Bible, but when they put a lot of THEIR responsibilities on their women then it is hardly the womans fault for picking up where they left off. If husbands still took their responsibilities seriously, maybe things would be different, but men don't always do what is best for their family (dont work, have affairs, dont take any responsibility for the children they help to create) and their wives have no choice but to take up their 'slack'.

Answer 2

what worked then might never work today. It is not that they knew their roles but that for the wife there were often no alternatives but there are today. marriage has to be a mutual effort and while it may not be 50-50 in all areas - Perhaps he makes more decisions about the outside of the house and her the inside, for example, -It does have to be a commitment with the intent of the marriage working and not just something they will try since divorce is an option. Marriage has to be based upon true love and not a desire to be a mother or father, or a wish to have someone to cook and clean, and so on. The high divorce rate is because of the number of marriages that should never have taken place to begin with and the lack of commitment to that marriage.

Answer 3

i think for the most part if all the woman had to do was cook and clean and do the woman's work around the house it would not be that bad, but add working a job she then has two jobs because the man stills sees the work around the house as woman's work. Too when a woman feels she is being taken for granted and a man comes and begins talking with her and making her feel special it then creates more unhappiness in her marriage. If that marriage is already rocky it can be the end of it. The sad part is most men are just looking for something new and really don't care about the woman at all.

Answer 4

People were not happier. In fact, most women just learned to accept the violence and control of their husbands.

The rule of thumb comes from the law that a man was not allowed to hit his wife with anything wider than his thumb. This comes from the fact that women did not like obeying men.

The high divorce rates today are due to the fact that people do not understand marriage or commitment. They think that loving someone is enough. The old saying that love overcomes all, is simply not true.

Once a couple has committed to a bad marriage, they discover how unhappy they are and divorce usually follows.

The other reason for the high divorce rate is that there are many men who still live by those old man of the house beliefs. These men are abusive and controling and hurt their wives. This leads to either divorce or to the deaths of these wives.

Everyone needs to really think through and understand marriage.

Take care,
Troy

Answer 5

If you study history, the last time Women were equals to men by the laws of society was probably the Roman Empire. Today women have fought and won equal rights again in the United States. The most recent example of how women were treated was World War 2. Many of my female relatives went to work in factories during the war to support the war effort. After the War was over, they tried to stay in the work force because they loved the freedom and satisfaction of earning a salary. If the women did not do their patriotic duty and quit, they were fired. My elderly Aunts were very unhappy about this, but had no choice but to go home and be a "happy" homemaker. These same women insisted their daughters earn an education or trade so they never had to be dependent on a man.

Another factor in this change is the influence of Christianity. Western Society seems to be more casual about religion. After the fall of the Roman Empire, the Government leaders and the Roman Catholic Church worked together to strip women of their right to own property. Real Estate was wealth and power. The men gained control over wives and daughters real estate and increased their wealth. The Catholic Church declared the Bible said women were inferior to men, stripped women priests of their rank, and changed some of the wording of the different biblical writings to support this view. For years Christianity has kept this tradition. Since Western Society as a whole is no longer particularily religious, this has also influenced a women's role in marriage.

So my answer to your question is the Man was very happy having someone at home taking care of his every need and having control over his wife. The woman was probably unhappy in this role but had no recourse because society forced her to be a homemaker. Today young women want an equal partner, not a Father figure. Some men "get it" and other men feel threatened because traditional roles are no longer relevant. Society has changed. The couples whom recognize this change are happy.

Answer 6

Maybe the men were as back then women were taught to take care of their husbands and children, no matter what. A divorced woman was considered a failure and looked down upon. Women put up with extreme violence and were treated more as property of the man. Most women were not at all happy. They were considered lower in intelligence and only able to work as a secretary or teacher, etc. (Nothing wrong with a secretary or teacher; just jobs not available for most women outside of certain fields)
Think many women were very unhappy and many of them had affairs. (Remember the Milkman joke?)
A role in any marriage is as a partner; not as a leader and a student. Glad women are valued as intelligent, capable people presently; no one wants to be treated as a dog, beaten and barked at.

Answer 7

No, married couples only work when we truly believe in our hearts that we were and are presently incomplete without her. Women can only sustain a portion of a marriage during the initial desire segment. It is our job to cover her, as men, from this time forth.

Divorce became a binomial to man once we began to seek escape like that famous King Henry VIII. We use it because we refuse to take responsibility for our actions. As long as we lust consequently, and do not respect ourselves or love our wives bodies, we will continue this sin.

Understand clearly, your relationship with your wife is also in proportion to your relationship with God. Do not just assume that things are good. It requires continous conversation of a valued and heartfelt quality. It also requires activity, like dancing which is the equivalent of fellowship. Last, it requires a steady force, which lays done true law when there is conflict.

Answer 8

Its not that marriages were happier, in fact in many cases it was just the opposite, especially on the part of the woman. Many women just didn't complain about it much because they figured that it was their lot in life as divorces were not common in those times as they are now, and those did get a one were often socially outcasted. However, once the prospect of divorce wasn't stigmatised any longer, many people realized that they did not have to stay tied down to a person they couldn't stand being with.

Answer 9

I don't know if people were happier back then...

One thing that did cause divorce rates to go up was the fact that more and more women were getting jobs outside of the home. Suddenly they were spending more hours a day with male co-workers than they were with their own husbands. Well ... you do the math.

Answer 10

Wow!!! ok what do u mean ROLES? If that is the case then the divorce rate is probably up because WE women are finally voicing our opinion and not letting MEN think they are the BOSS in the marriage. To me a marriage is 50/50 and no one is THE BOSS!!!!