Does this metaphor make sense?

Question

'Like a long stream, the source of cultural exchange between the two countries can be traced far into the past, and now has reached the present. '

In this sentence, I compared a long history in cultural exchange with a long stream of a river. "the source " means the beginning of cultural exchange.

It must be easy to say this in straight way like ' a long history in cultural exchange between the two countries', but I prefer to use a metaphor.

As a non-native English writer, I wonder if this sentence make sence and grammatically correct.

Would you please help me and give me some advice.

Answer 1

It may make sense in context and appears grammatically correct to me, but technically I believe it is a simile. A metaphor would not compare cultural exchange with a long stream, it would integrate the concept of the bubbling source of a stream with the flow of history.

Regardless of what it is, I find it somewhat awkwardly stated, albeit very pleasing and headed in the right direction. The awkwardness I see stems from the fact that 'Cultural EXCHANGE' means that each of the two countries has given something to the other; of course, a stream flows only in one direction. In speaking about the SOURCE, there might be an epiphany...an event or juncture that one could identify as the origin of the exchange and that would make the simile better-but it is hard to say for sure from the quote itself without seeing the context. The point is that there needs to be some sort of clarification...but that may already be in the context.

I think the other thing that is a little awkward is the 'and now has reached the present.' I personally would use a term like 'flow' to reinforce the image of the stream.

Let's see...uhh...OK: 'The broad delta of cultural exchange can be traced to its origins in the bubbling brook of the distant past.' That's a metaphor-not as good as your simile, but it implies an awful lot of stuff. You could go from the metaphor to a simile, e.g. 'like the flowing river, each culture is a tributary which adds to the volume...' blahblahblah. Haha...now you can see why I am not a writer. I get so intrigued with the process I can never come to the point.

I don't know what your native language is, but I wish I had good enough command of ANY second language to ask the location of a BATHROOM, let alone consider metaphors, similies and cultural exchanges. Nice work-and good luck!

Answer 2

I can understand your wish to use a metaphor, although your wordage is more of a simile, and your choice is not a bad one. However your wording is a little clumsy. Why not try:-

'Like a long stream, winding from it's beginnings until it eventually meets the sea, the source of cultural exchange between the two countries can be traced far back into the past right up to the present day. '

Answer 3

A long stream is singular and it does not indicate any type of exchange with anything. The length of the stream does not necessarily equate with time for the past.

A more meaningful metaphor would be: "Like the merging of two rivers, each bringing from its source an exchange of culture that the two countries have shared far into the past and continue to share today."

Answer 4

I like the metaphor of the river, but I think it could be phrased a little better. "And now has reached the present" sounds a little strange.
"Like a long stream, the long history of cultural exchange can be traced back to its source far in the past, and flows forward into the future" or something might work better.

Answer 5

'Like a long stream, the source of cultural exchange between the two countries can be traced far into the past, and now has reached the present. '

Personally, i'd replace "stream" with "river", but that's due to specific connotations I have of each of the words. "River" sounds much more significant, where "stream" is quite weak.

I would also remove "and now has reached the present" completely. I couldn't tell you why, I just think it ruins the flow of the sentence.

Answer 6

it is good grammar, but does not make perfect sense as a stream does not really refer to the past . It is actually a simile (as you are saying "like").... I think that it would be wise to just state directly that "There is a long history of cultural exchange between (state the countrie's names) beginning around. This cultural exchange is still.... (i cannot put an adjective as i do not know the subject properly)

Answer 7

The sentence makes sense gramatically, but I think it's a sloppy metaphor.

"Cultural exchange" implies a give and take, information flowing back and forth. Rivers only flow in one direction. Try to find a metaphor that implies a more equal exchange and you'll do much better.

Answer 8

"Sense" not "sence" just for your information. Yes, though, it's a nice metaphor. I think it fits perfectly as long as the paper you are writing isn't supposed to be very techinical. Most papers about culture and history are good for inserting nifty metaphors. A+
Post again if you need anything proof read or edited, I'm a good writer and native speaker.

Answer 9

It's better to say it in a direct way, I think. Or revise the metaphor; I don't really get it. Or perhaps remove or rephrase "and now has reached the present."
Depends on where you'll use the sentence. +_+

Answer 10

Sounds ok to me. You might want to consider using the river metaphor again or throughout your writing; its reuse will help to clarify your meaning.