My BF & I use to just see eachother at w.ends as thats all our work schedules would allow, we moved in together the w.end & now I discover he has a very low sex drive. He said it has nothing to do with me that it has always been like this, prob is I have a very high one. We had a long chat last night to see where we go from here & we both want to try work it out. When we do sleep together its fantastic but the going without for over a week or 2/3 is just not an option for me. he told me last night that he thinks its possibly cos he smokes an excessive amount but also cos he was out with his ex 1 night in a bar & he overheard her tell her friends he was crap in bed & they were laughing at him. This is not the case for me, he is the best lover I have evr had. he said he believes me but it knocked his confidence & plays on his mind alot. He said he use to think I might be faking it. If I got his confidence back slowly is there a chance his sex drive might increase or is this permanent??
2007-10-31 23:58:50 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Men's Health
well, for one, his smoking doesn't help, so I'd suggest helping him quit...over time it can potentially lead to ED...also, what he heard from his friends, especially if he is a sensitive guy, it could have completely thrown his confidence. when you lack confidence or are stressed out about something, as he may get stressed ow every time you two go to have sex, afraid he isn't going to perform, his sex drive can definitely go down. I would tell him exactly what you told us and that is that he is a great lover and the best you've had. if he doesn't believe you, keep re-insuring him. If it gets or is bad enough, as it seems it may be, you may want to seek couples counseling - I would if I were you. he may also need to see someone himself, but I'd start w/ couples counseling. hope everything works out for the two of you. best of luck.
EDIT: also take the suggestion from the nurse and get his blood checked for testerone levels as well. Again, best of luck to you two.
2007-11-01 01:50:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-05 21:49:38 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No there is a chance of his sex drive being high . But for that u have to work hard. Confidence is a key thing for guys. A confident guy can rock the world where the same person with less motivation can be driven by low sex drive.so keep working
2007-11-01 00:03:35 · answer #3 · answered by Niel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it is frustrating, but I don't think this is a permanent condition, I think that his confidence is shattered and needs to be rebuilt. You need to find out what turns him on, try role playing, or meeting for "lunch" just to spice it up a little. Always re-assure him that he is good in bed and over time he will gain more confidence. The most important thing is to have patients, it will get better!
Good luck!
2007-11-01 02:29:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing you can do to increase his sex drive. He just has a low one, why can't you accept that? Whatever his excuses are for being unmotivated for sex are besides the point. You just have to accept that he is a once-a-week kinda guy. Maybe take up masturbation to fill in the blanks but don't use this as an excuse to cheat on him. You can both deal with this if you really love each other.
2007-11-01 00:04:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
That may not 'just' be the reason, it could be an excuse???
Actually, he should have blood work done to see if his testosterone levels are within range. He could be low, or he may have something else going on in his body?? or is he on medications? ? that could effect his libido....
My suggestion is to see a doctor, and at least have this done, then if it's ok, work on the confidence thing.
2007-11-01 00:05:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is just pshycological. Help him get into the habit of making love without having to worry if you will come or not.
Tell him what matters most is if both of you are enjoying it, and not who comes first... try to get into regular foreplays without having to commit for the intercourse.
For you, what is more critical is to encourage him & appreciate his act after every performance - no matter how lousy it was.
2007-11-01 00:09:36 · answer #7 · answered by Stallion 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think there is a chance. you might have to work on him more though. dont argue with him if he doesnt want to because he will feel pressured. seduce him,start gentle with kissing and that and see if you are getting somewhere. if he enjoys it then carry on,do whatever turns him on,step by step and you can obviously see then by his reaction if he is turned on. and let him know how much you love being close to him and making love to him. men need reassurance too!
2007-11-01 00:09:25 · answer #8 · answered by kc 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Masturbation is the answer you are looking for.
2007-11-01 02:33:44 · answer #9 · answered by Solo 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋