Ok... so me and my girlfriend have only been together 5months. We are totally in love. ive had a very long relationship before (so has my girlfriend) and we both agree that what we have got is so much more than what weve had in the past. i dream of no one but her. i want no one but her.
Yesterday, we found out she's pregnant with my baby.
We always thought if ever that happened it would be easy - we are too young, its expensive, we havnt been together that long etc...
but.... we've made a baby, life's most precious gift - suddenly it isnt as easy as we thought it would be.
If we decide to have it, it would have an amazing mum, and i know i would do everything to be a great father. but...
Its expensive to raise a child, i wouldnt want my children to live in a broken home or have two seperate single parents, but in the same breath, my sister struggled to conceive after an abortion, if we decide to have a baby in a few years and we cant, we would be distraught.
help.
2007-10-31 23:01:05 · 8 answers · asked by WhyTuesday 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
well honestly im a firm believer in following through with your actions. you both got yourself into this, now follow through with it. even if you two dont end up staying together it will be alright. it is expensive but theirs help you both can get until you get on solid ground. WIC, foodstamps and if need be monthly checks to help with support. Either way though kid your gonna be paying child support. even if your living with the mother. if your not married, you have to pay child support. they will come after you for that. even garnish your wages if need be. but i dont mean to scare you. look at all the parents in the world who where in the same situation as you. as soon as their baby was born, they regreted ever having regrets! having a son or daughter makes it all worth wild and in the end you will be glad you did what you needed to do to keep s(he) in your life. think of what you could be giving up? fears like this that your feeling are competely natural. but you CAN and WILL make it work. weather you can give your little girl(if you have a girl! ^_^) a pony or not dosent mean anything, she will always love you..or he. i wish you the best of luck hun and just go with your heart on this. you know whats right for you, your girlfriend and the baby. try to live with no regrets. ^_^
2007-10-31 23:12:22 · answer #1 · answered by AnGeL.SlayeR 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nobody but you two will be able to make this decision, and nobody but you two will have to live with it. By the way you are talking it is almost as you want people to tell you that abortion would be a good decision for you. No one here is going to do that I don't think. I know this is a hard decision for you, although if you are not too young I would tell you to have it. You two made the decision to have sex and now you have made this little thing that is already alive. Nothing in life is easy!! Nothing is free either. It will be a hard road ahead for you, but feeling the baby kick at you from inside her and watching the baby being born and being able to hold the little thing that you two created. There is no greater love. Talk to someone older than you that you trust and tell them your honest feelings and see if they can't lead you in the right direction. I wish you the best of luck with your future.
2007-11-01 06:16:27 · answer #2 · answered by Megan B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You poor thing! It sounds like you have a really hard decision to make, but the tone of your question suggests you like the idea of being a parent.
Now would be a good time to talk to friends with children and see how they have coped. It can be tough with not much money, but you can get through. Buy stuff second hand - I know everyone wants the best for their child but they'll never remember (or even care given that it sounds like you'll be terrific parents) that their first things weren't brand new.
It might also pay to get some counselling from a non-biased source. Get as much information as you can before you make a decision either way. Remember, though, whatever decision you DO make will be the right one for you at the time. Good luck!
2007-11-01 06:09:19 · answer #3 · answered by The Kelda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you don't feel you could take care of a child there is always adoption.... but depending on your age maybe you could accept this challenge and step up.
At 17, my friend got pregnant and she and her boyfriend (now her husband) stepped up and now have a beautiful 5 1/2 year old daughter and a 17 month old daughter.
It was really hard at first....they lived in a garage apartment at her parents, then they finally bought a little house. They struggled, I won't lie. Eventually she got a great work at home job, he got a job with UPS (delivering packages) and they are planning to buy a bigger home in the Spring or Summer of 2008.
Only you two can make this decision....only you two can know if you are ready. Just don't go the aborition route...please.
2007-11-01 06:38:32 · answer #4 · answered by ♥Mommy to 3 year old Jacob and baby on the way♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the way i look at no one is to young or to old as long as u know it is a lot of work and u work as team.also not to depend on ppl to raise for ya.love that child as much as u want if u do decide to give it up have ur sister keep if for ya.i think if u dont want a child give it to a family member not to stranger where u might not get to see that child that much.never give up and help ur girl out as much as u can and she would do the same for u.go to all the doctor apts try to miss any because child already loves u and there is reason for everything.have faith
2007-11-01 07:13:32 · answer #5 · answered by abby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you answered your own question....
"Life's most precious gift"
Unless you are incredibly young, have this baby, love it, cherish it and the rest will fall into place. If the love between the parents is strong and confident enough then you can get through anything. Remember to live within your budget and who cares if you have to forego that expensive pram or buy 2nd hand things. Material belongings won't replace your love.
Best of luck and congrats
2007-11-01 06:09:31 · answer #6 · answered by Cindy; mum to 3 monkeys! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep it! Abortion should be illegal except in cases of rape.
A baby is a wonderful gift to have, im sure that you'll be a wonderful father who will do well to provide for your child.
Worrying too much creates stress, just relax and things will all come together!
2007-11-01 06:16:13 · answer #7 · answered by Commander Shepard 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
To quote the old phrase 'You made your bed now lie in it'. the baby's already coming, you'll have to suck it up and soldier on, and you're right, it won't be easy, but it will be totally worth it.
2007-11-01 06:40:04 · answer #8 · answered by magy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋