My husband and I have been arguing more than ever. Ok ill start from the begining so you understand better.
He has a group of friends, hes known some of them since before we started dating. Anyway a couple of his friends girlfriends always cut my husband down, say hes lazy , unmotivated ect... they talk about him like hes stupid, to his face and behind his back. (ok he is very unmotivated) not stupid though. they even cut down their own bfs. well I love my husband very much (dispite his falts) and it really hurts my feelings to hear someone talk badly about him. Its almost like they are saying it about me too. Well made comments befor that I dont appriciate it. but they kept doing it, anyway in july I mentioned to a mutual friend that it was pissing me off and that i was avoiding these 2 girls because of it. so needless to say, it got back to them. They called me and started yelling at me and sending me nasty e-mails (very grown up) I havent talked to them since. more---->
2007-10-31 20:10:12 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My husband still goes over there every day after work. tonight, he took our daughters out trick or treating with them.
I got mad at him. I dont understand how he could hang around with people who dont except his wife? after all, I was defending him. Am I that unimportant to him? he says he loves me and doesnt want to split up. He says we cant afford counsiling. I just want to be a part of his life. I love him hes very sweet and easy going.(but cluless) I feel very alone, like I dont have any companionship. If we are home togeather, he always has his back turned to me, on the computer, playing on line games (with his friends) Am I in the wrong? do you have advise for me please. I dont want to be a nag or his mother. Am I letting my feelings be too deep?
2007-10-31 20:17:49 · update #1
well phil, as I already said I did mention it to them first and they kept it up. Also you can be very smart and still be cluless. its more like your blind to what is going on.
2007-10-31 20:44:41 · update #2
not a stay at home mom. I work overnights and he works days so our time togeather is very limited, therefore he should value our time togeather. and no i sorry but if your shareing your life togeather I dont feel there should be your friends, my friends. He knows all my friends and if they were disrespectful towards my husband than they wouldnt be my friends. Sorry!
2007-10-31 20:55:41 · update #3
No you are not letting your feelings get too deep. You are right in feeling like they are talking about you too, because when someone you love is being treated that way you feel that way too. You are right to not want to be with them at all because they are talking bad about your husband. If he is unable to see it or feels that he "needs" them as friends then the best you can do is explain how you feel and tell him what you think and why you are avoiding them. He will get it sooner or later. My guess is later. If they do speak with you you can tell them you don't think it is respectful of you or him that they say the things they do. You cannot control what other people say or do but you can try to stop them from saying it to you or your family. It may not work because your husband does not see it but if you stay strong and not have anything to do with them then he will see the big picture.
2007-10-31 20:29:15 · answer #1 · answered by bssd12000 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
your husband has some issues and if you are not able to see that then maybe you have some issues too. It appears he need to feel accepted regardless of the price he pays not only does he has no motivation he has no self respect which is why he doesn't get any respect. And to top it off he seems very immature I say that because his family always come first not visiting friends everyday or playing games on the computer. You need to stop making excuses he is lazy, he is unmotivated and if he can't see that his roll now his his family then he is stupid.
2007-11-01 03:55:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are letting things bother you that doesn't bother your husband like his friends. They are his friends and he likes them,don't you have your own friends if not then you should. It can't be just you and him that just won't work as you can see.You sound like you are a stay at home mom and i think that's one reason you are having a problem with his friends because you think he cares for them more then you.By not working you are lonely if you did work you would have your own friends. It's good for a marriage to have different friends.He has fun with his friends not with you and that hurts your feelings. Are you sure you know how to have fun with your husband the way you use to when you first met do you joke with him and laugh do you guys set out side and just talk about what ever,anything but things you don't like. Sounds like you two need to reconnect.
2007-11-01 03:51:16 · answer #3 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you love your husband out of his weaknesses,that's wonderful.You are getting hurt because you have loved him.About those girls,stopped communicating with them.They could not help you anyway.They only destruct your peace of mind.You better mind your own.It is none of their business anyway.Prove to them that they were wrong.It is only you who could understand your husband well.They are not a good fellows.You better avoid them.
2007-11-01 03:20:25 · answer #4 · answered by Lucy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You say your husband is not stupid but you call him clueless? Clueless sounds like stupid to me.
Maybe these girls are right. It didn't bother him so why get involved? You've attracted grief to yourself unnecessarily. Maybe you could have told them to their face, not talked behind their backs. Harden up.
2007-11-01 03:40:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
As long as your husband is not affected by the comments, let him handle the situation. He knows himself best.
2007-11-01 03:30:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask your husband if he likes to be treated this way by his "friends". Tell him that it bothers you that they have such a low opinion of him and you choose to not spend your time with them.
2007-11-01 03:15:31 · answer #7 · answered by csucdartgirl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think it's important that you stick by your man and that you care what other's think of him. if he's not willing to drop them for you- most importantly for himself and dignity that leave it to him. there's an old saying "you can lead a horse to water, but u can't make him drink." also if ur in a church u should talk to ur pastor about counseling. good luck.
2007-11-01 03:55:20 · answer #8 · answered by hiswife04 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ignore them seems they are not worth being friends with. you husband maybe needs more motivation and help him with his self esteem that way he wont allow his Friends to treat him this way too...goodluck....insecurities is very hard to fight with so arm yourself with lots of patience and encouragements for him...
2007-11-01 03:15:13 · answer #9 · answered by silly me 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've never handle rejection that well!!! But he must have a need to be abused!!!
2007-11-01 09:08:15 · answer #10 · answered by happywjc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋