How do I confront my mom about her cocaine abuse?

Question

For the past 2 months I have suspected my mother of using cocaine. About a month ago I find a "coke bag" on the floor in my room, this prompted me to check her cell phone call log to see if she was calling an ex-friend of mine that is into cocaine and heroin. There were several incoming and outgoing calls to this person. I confronted her about this and she completely freaked out on me. She totally denied it and said that it was probably my "coke bag" and told me I am a horrible person. She also said a lot of other hurtful things. It really hurt my feelings, she made me seem like I'm the bad guy.

Tonight when I was going into the bathroom I found another "coke bag." This one was completely full. I know that it my mom's and I want to confront her about it, but I don't know how without her freaking out on me.

I'm 17 and I'm actually a white girl, this is my friends account.

I have confronted my ex-friend, but she denies it as well. It's a really tough situation. I have some evidence but my mom is such a convincing liar. She even has me believing her some times, but there are too many signs of abuse plus the actual bag I found. But if I told my dad I think she was just lie her way out of it :/

ps
Thank you for all of your answers. :)

Answer 1

Take the baggie of coke and go into the bathroom. Call your mom into the bathroom and ask her if it is hers. If she says no, then flush it.

There is a hole in your story. No drug user leaves a bag of coke laying around and if she dropped it, she would have gone looking for it a long time ago.

Answer 2

Dude, I feel your pain. My mom struggled with it in the past, and my sisters and I suspect she still does from time to time. Two things, 1) If she leaves it around once its bad but twice is really bad which means she's really on it, so confronting her might not make anything of it. Is there someone close to her, that's sober, that you can talk to about it. 2) This might take years to remedy, and its not going to be easy, usually it gets worse. If its just coke, its easier than if she's on heroin or even crack, because then stuff starts turning up missing. So be in there for the long haul man. Also talk to some rehab people, google it and research the topic, there's a step by step process to go about it. But being aggressive and confrontational will only lead to strife. Calmly let her know what you think and strive to do your best to help her. You might have to move out eventually. If your old enough that is, trust me, things get crazy and if she's really into it then shady characters will hover around.

Answer 3

Hey there. I hope you are doing well. One psychological defense an addict uses is called projection- they take feelings that belong to them, and "project" them onto you- you know it's not your coke bag, what kind of accusation is that? It's hers, but she projected it onto you. She feels like she's a horrible person, so she just kind of "threw it up" onto you. Same with the rest of the hurtful things- those are all really feelings that she feels about herself.

You didn't say how old you are. Probably the biggest long term thing you can do is pledge to yourself to never use drugs or alcohol. Your mom is going to spend her money down to zero and lower if she doesn't stop. Can you confront your ex-friend? You probably need help outside of your family. Try not to blame your mom in the meantime- that cocaine is stronger than her right now.

Answer 4

This is a sensitive subject, especially if your mother isn't accepting the truth. since confronting her is a problem, maybe you should write her a letter and let her know that it hurts you to watch her hurt herself. i'm sure if you tell her exactly why your bothered by her cocaine abuse, she will come clean with you and maybe even let you help her. If this doesn't work, you might want to seek the help of a relative or someone close and trustworthy. I hope you feel better and don't be too hard on yourself. If you can just get through to her to at least talk about it, then you're one step closer to your goal. take care!

Answer 5

Since she's going to tell you it's not hers, it's yours, you may as well tell her you flushed a bag of coke. You didn't need the temptation around.

If she's getting sloppy enough to leave bags of it around when she knows you suspect her, she has quite the problem going, and/or she wants help. Get as many people that know about what is going on and care about her together, and go intervention style. That way her anger isn't placed on one person, and she sees that people are concerned, it's not just one person telling her what to do.

Answer 6

No, its wise to let professionals handle such situations rather than u urself confronting ur mother.

Juz put urself in ur mum's shoe,how will u feel if ur kid begans to advise or stop u from using drugs??

U would never accept it rite,its the same for ur mum now.
Pls seek a consultation or some one elder or closer (eg,her sis,brother/pastor) to talk to her.
This wouldn't be too hard on her either.

Give it a thought.

Ur mum is lucky to have a son like u!!

God Bless!!

Answer 7

Get as many of "HER" friends and family, that knows of the problem, together and have an 'intervention. She is more likely to listen to many than to one.

Start out by telling her how much you love her and tell her how losing her would effect you and the rest of your family, tell her that you need her back (as though, since the drugs, she has been away) that you need her support and guidance, have the others tell her the same things then tell her you want her to get help. She is less likely to 'freak out when there are more people confronting her.

Best of luck,
Hope your mom gets it straight.

Answer 8

Try this. Next time you suspect it, grab your cam corder and "Candidly" get her acting the way she is. When she is clean of it for a couple days, show her the video, and let her see what she becomes while she's Coked up. GOOD LUCK, I hope this helps.

Answer 9

Don't, just leave and let the ***** die. if you are male, no need to beat your brains out over some woman. They dont give a **** about you. Turn it around, if it were a dad hooked on dope. Do you think anyone would help or even care? Forget her and move out and start your own life. You cant help these people once they get taken over. I know its your mother and all but women dont care. she abuses you by using dope. Obviously she doesnt care about how you feel. Care only about yourself and your brothers.

Answer 10

initially you will possibly desire to come sparkling including your dad and mom, 2nd -eliminate the boyfriend. he will basically drag you backtrack. 0.33 - call rehab centers on your section and get into one. to thoroughly injury your habit you'll want decision, kinfolk and buddy help, a therapist or group to chat to and drugs to assist relieve the withdrawal indicators. call now. I want you the superb of success, you're making the splendid/superb decision of your existence.