ill explain, I dated a girl from 16-21, we were truly in love & it ended pretty much cause of time & age, we just became different people & I needed to move on cause I didnt lover her anymore. It was true love, not the kind in the beginning where your really emotional & sex is great, etc.. the relationship went past that point at about the 2yr mark, started to dull & then I made a mental commitement to her cause I loved her & a different & deeper kind of emotion returned. Heres the thing, if we are all constantly changing throughout our lives, wouldnt this just repeat itself & the 2 people get tired of eachother or the relationship runs its course. Im not affraid of commitment, but it is a sad & scary reality if this is true. My question is this, I would like to hear from people who have been with theyre spouse or bf for a long time (5yrs plus), how does it work when you both keep changing & growing? Dont you find yourself wanting out of the relationship or no, please explain, thx.
2007-10-31 18:38:40 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What you both thought was love, was not.
The point is:- to get it right.
2007-10-31 22:16:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because two people aren't together anymore, does not mean they do not love each other anymore. You're right, these things do happen in relationships, but not all the time. There is such a thing as an ever lasting relationship.. you just have to find the right person. Being in a relationship can vary between people. But it's not something we do in order to survive--it's like a ride at the carnival; we go on it for enjoyment, not really knowing when it will end, but if it does we are able to say that we had a good time. It's just a part of life. We learn, grow, and develop from these situations. We can be afraid of cheating, break ups, and pain... but it's the risk we take in our everyday lives. It's like asking, why bother driving a car if you might get into an accident? Why do we face those fears when the consequences are so great? We're taking chances on life, and accepting every door that opens to us.
2016-05-26 06:11:14 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry im not someone that u want to hear answer from, but I have the same situation. It's just funny how similar they r. im 21 and used to be with a person for 4.5 years. now i have a new b/f for 3 months. And i have the same question. I really like my b/f but if we get tired of seeing each other everyday? u know what...maybe the problem with your and my relationship that we didnt move to another step such as marriage, kids, and different lifestyle. We used to live together with my ex but never more...
Hopefully someone will explain it to us.
Thanx for the question:)
Good luck
Rastus is right! maybe love doesnt go away . maybe it has stages. Like when we r young we express our love by having crazy sex( its nature..it is like this cuz we need to make babies while we r young), then it grows into something else when u have mutual kids....i cant know the stages cuz I dont have enough experience but i guess that's what happens. Also, we r selfish so maybe we shouldnt think about separation that quickly and instead work harder for the relationship....
2007-10-31 18:47:50 · answer #3 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First off, from 16 to 21 you go from being a teenager, to being an adult, and allot of changes accrue during that time, both emotionally and physically. This is why most teenage couples just don't make it. When you are a little older then that, and usually settled in life, and meet the right person, then you have a chance, some have that before others. Then when you make that step towards marrege, you make a commitment to each other, and part of that commitment is to grow together, make decissions together, and to comunicate with each other. You also have to respect each other, and even have to compromase for each other. That is what it is about. Each other, then everyone else.
2007-10-31 18:57:57 · answer #4 · answered by bill s 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hey there. I more or less understand how you feel, and I just want to say, remember your not alone. Thousands of people out there probably feel as if the spark between them and their lovers have died out after a year or so, but they stubbornly refuse to accept that fact because they don't want to let the other down and because they feel that they have to stick to the commitment that they have made.
The truth is, we all cling on to someone whom we are not really in love with anymore because ultimately, everyone needs to feel loved. Yes, people do get tired of each other and it is only natural.
But true love lasts only when you have the absolute mental assurance and clarity that you and your partner will make it through hell or high water. Twists and turns in a relationship strengthen it and prevent the love from fading.
However, sometimes, you just have to let that person go and not be selfish. After all, they deserve to have someone who loves them as much as they love the other, don't they?
My advice is, try a little harder and if it doesn't work, let go..
2007-10-31 18:48:25 · answer #5 · answered by Jenn 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I've been married for 25 years. I love my wife, yes it's not the hot lust that we had when we started, but that's not what we both need or want. Too many people today are so worried about "What about me" that they forget that the other person might just feel the same way. It has been run into the ground, but true communication and respect is what makes it work. It helps that the other person is on the same track as you and yes that's not always the way it is, but if you're true to yourself you will make things work. If abuse is a problem-get out, but if it's just that things don't seem to be going the same way, try to work it out.
2007-10-31 18:52:56 · answer #6 · answered by rastus7742 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
whew loaded question there , when i met my husband he was everything i didnt like in a man tall loud blond and military and i fell in love with him that night i moved in with him the next day and we have been in love since....i have been with this man for 12 years married for 9 , not to mention i had two boys from a previous marriage(we are still friends too by the way)...my husband and i are both 42 now and are totally different in most aspects he is loud and im not, hes tall im short, he loves loud live music i hate live loud anything, hes an explorer im a homebody ... as well as alot of other things ...the thing is yes you will always be changing no matter how you try not to and there will always be day to day things to talk about or learn...the difference with us and alot of other people in this world now is that we truly are in love and either one of us will tell anyone that is around that fact and we dont just have to tell people ...when anyone is around us for any amount of time they see it in the way we treat each other ...now i wont say hes not an *** or im not a ***** because we can be but love is what keeps us together and he would do anything in the world for me as i would for him....so if you are getting (bored) with someone then no it wasnt true love because true love will last you throughout your life together and no matter what you go through you will be there for each other knowing that person will always be there for you .........one of my fav sayings though if you do fall (inlove) and break up is that ............love is never a waste of time ..........he has asked me why are you with me loads of times mainly when he is feeling down on himself for whatever reason and the only truthful answer i give him is that im in love with him even when hes being an *** because hes my *** and no one elses
2007-10-31 19:19:45 · answer #7 · answered by vkatgol 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No matter what people change pretty much everday..new ideas, feelings, inspiration etc..but if you truely love someone you should never let them go. If you find someone eles, you still are going to go through the commitment and feelings it just doesn't go away like that. If you aren't feeling this girl anymore then i think you better tell her before you break her heart even more. Just remember what your doing before hand. It really does suck to loose a girl that you love esp. if they have done nothing wrong. Do what you feel inside. goodluck
2007-10-31 18:45:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, I'm still changing and growing myself, but for interest sake, my parents have been married for over 25 years, and I asked them the same question. Apparently people slow down changing and growing after the age of 24 for women and 26 for men. If you meet and marry somebody after that age you don't outgrow each other, but rather grow together at the same pace.
2007-10-31 19:14:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Oh yea of little Faith, come on , you need some confidence and optimisium my freind, before you end up checking yourself out.
2007-11-01 01:20:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋