I just came home from visiting with my family for the day. My husband said he was going out to a friends house to visit for a while. I called about an hour before I left my mom's house to see if he was home yet and he told me that yes he was home, him and his friends came to our house instead. Now, it's not that I have a problem with his friends coming to our house, but we live in a 1 bedroom apartment and we have no living room furniture yet bcuz we just moved in. So, the tv is in our bedroom. So, he had his friends over hanging out in our bedroom, drinking, smoking, etc. Plus he knows I hate when he smokes drugs and I came in and the house wreaks of drugs (a smell I can't stand). I'm upset because I feel like it's an invasion of privacy for guys to be hanging out in my bedroom my bras and what not are laying around because I had no idea anyone was going to be here. I want to know, do you think I'm over reacting or is it reasonable for me to be upset?
2007-10-31 18:19:43 · 16 answers · asked by Babycakes 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
its reasonable but at the same time you and your husband need to talk about having visitors over. you are correct it is an invasion of your space and your husband should have respected that and the fact that you dont like illegal drugs in your home. he needs to not exactly how you feel and no how violated you are feeling and there needs to be some boundaries set. he needs to grow up and be a husband and stop smoking. sounds like you and him need some professional counseling and he needs to go to rehab for his drug usage. GodBless
2007-10-31 18:41:06 · answer #1 · answered by Crystal G 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Wrongs can be different between cultures and can change over time. Some cultures believe that certain food must be prepared in a certain way and it is wrong to do otherwise. That wrong my have evolved before refrigeration was available and so may no longer be applicable. Even so, there will be some who follow the tradition just because it worked for prior generations. For people who believed in the necessity for racial purity some people it was wrong to have integrated schools, shared restaurants and bathrooms. For people who believed in male superiority, it used to be wrong for women to expect equal pay. For populations that were dying because of disease or loss of life in war and natural disaster, one can imagine that homosexuality was discouraged because it diverted sexual energy from reproduction. I suspect that if you check the 10 Commandments you will find that each was described to discourage actions that tended to have bad results for those societies at that time and probably still does. In many cases, just as you have described and to the developed world of the 21st century, these bad results appear quite logical. In Biblical times, only a few understood the logic or had the wisdom. Moses was very wise indeed and knew that the long suffering Tribes would never have believed he could personally have such wisdom but if he described these as the words of God, well . . . . . .
2016-04-11 07:13:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitly the wrrrroooonnngg thing to do. Why did he not take the visit to his mates.
Its definitly an invasion of ones privacy, goodness only knows what the conversation was all about.
How long have you been married. Sounds to me he has very little respect for you as a person and a wife.
I suggest you lay down some ground rules, and make them now.
Good luck
2007-10-31 18:40:23 · answer #3 · answered by aotea s 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not overreacting. My fiance would never bring the boys to the bedroom. I don't bring my girls to our bedroom. It's too private.
He should have gone off to his friends' house instead. But men don't think sometimes. Tell him how you feel, and I hope he will promise to never do it again. If he doesn't apologize, he is inconsiderate of your feelings. There is a problem.
2007-10-31 18:31:00 · answer #4 · answered by terliuke 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think you have a good reason to be upset. Give him another chance though. Now he knows NOT to let his friends hang out in your bedroom.
2007-10-31 18:23:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
i think you need to have the little talk with him about it.. no reason to fight about it or anything but i would tell him that next time he not do that in the house and that him and his friends hang in the living room. tell him you wouldnt do that to him and you would like that he not do that to you. no reason to get all huffy about it or anything its not one of those problems that will make or break the relationship. just something that needs to be talked about.. have some boundries or rules you both go by.. and by the way should of been talked about before moving in.. good luck
2007-10-31 18:26:32 · answer #6 · answered by Kat 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My husband is the same way, but he knows better now. I always tell him to keep his friends out of my bedroom. Now whenever they come over they sit outside and hangout.. LOL. I'm with you on this one.
2007-10-31 18:24:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Later, after they are gone, you need to talk with him. Explain what he did that upsets, and most importantly WHY. No need to fuss or yell though. Remember, you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar!
2007-10-31 18:41:22 · answer #8 · answered by Ista 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you have every right to be upset. Your bedroom is your private domain. You should tell him how you feel about what happened.
2007-10-31 18:35:44 · answer #9 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
invite a policeman over the next time they are chilling in the bedroom, i assure you , you shall get your privacy and he shall be with his freinds and they can all figure out where they went wrong together.
2007-11-01 01:13:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋