I have taken the steps in the bible by going to my friend and speaking with her telling her How her make up a lie is making me feel towards her... and she does not walk to speak about it . so I went to the elders and they come out and we are being counseled and she is still holding to her lie... I don't trust her now.
I find I have very little to say to her.... because she is not who she pretend that she was... I pray for her and for me that she will find it in her heart to come clean... The friend ship we shared is now beyond strained... I feel as if some one has died and I am in deep moaning.. I will be moving out as soon as the lease is up in 2008. lying can be a dangerous thing.
I am very upset with myself for not being able to shake this unhappy feeling. It's not my style
2007-10-31 17:52:05 · 7 answers · asked by bay 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I think it seems you are handling this well. Of course your going to feel hurt and mistrusting toward her but those feelings will fade with time. Not that i think you should let her of the hook. Make it clear to her when she is ready to come clean you will not hold it against her but also let her know that as long as she continues to lie you will be unable to trust her. Prayer is an excellent way to help.
2007-10-31 17:58:57 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know what you are going through and it is hard to let go of the feeling especially if the person has not come completely clean about the lie. Her pride may be what is in the way and it might take her a while to come around and then again she may not come around at all. She may just be a season in your life that you will outgrow. It is normal in some relationships to outgrow a person. It doesn't mean that you don't love or care for that person, it just means that it is time to move on, and of course that is a hard thing to do. Especially if you are living with the person. The best thing you can do is give her a little space and then try to approach her calmly and talk to her. Communicate about how her lying has affected you, and let her know that you can't continue in a relationship that is dishonest with her. Good luck to you hon. Communication is the key, and moving on. Give yourself time to heal, and I will pray for you as well. God Bless
2007-11-01 10:41:04 · answer #2 · answered by ?? yaddajean ?? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you are still hurt. You can still forgive her but still be hurt. It will take time to heal. I do encourage you to talk it out with her. Sometimes when someone who has lied won't get the trust back. Sometimes you need to just let the person go. Sorry you got hurt. I know how you feel and youor not alone. I have gotten hurt by 2 male friends and it dtill hurts even though I have forgiven them.
2007-11-01 01:03:22 · answer #3 · answered by conny 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you shouldn't shake the feeling, but you should move on, knowing you made a mistake and trusted the wrong person and therefore aren't going to have anything to do with her anymore. Just cut her off. You say she is still sticking to her lie!! How can you forgive that??? Are you SURE she is lying..then dump her sorry ***. We are not meant to forgive everything that comes our way.
2007-11-01 00:57:56 · answer #4 · answered by zanthus 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not you- it's your friend. You decided to put your trust back in her and forgive her but you couldn't deep down because you know she's not really sorry and doesn't care that she's lied. And that's not you either. You can't support someone's lie just because they're your friend if you feel it really isn't right. Seeing that you've told her and she doesn't seem to care, I'd say she probably wouldn't be that good of a friend to you if the roles were reversed. I'd cut her loose before she rubs off on you...
2007-11-01 00:57:08 · answer #5 · answered by specndim 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry for your unhappiness.
You did the right thing....all a person can do.
I would try to go before 2008 if possible.
Peace be with you.
2007-11-01 00:59:27 · answer #6 · answered by Mustbe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Forgiving means that you actually forgive. You have not forgiven. You need to make her talk about it.
2007-11-01 00:56:00 · answer #7 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋