Should I cover up my ex's name on my arm now that I'm married to my new husband?

Question

Well I met my girl's father when I was 16 years old. My son was 2 years old at the time I was a single parent going to school and I met this 18 year old guy. So we started to date. Two years later I got pregant with my daughter. And we both promise each other that we was going to spent the rest of our lives together. We moved in together in I had my third child another little girl. So I got his name tatto on my arm. We ended up splitting after 8 years of dating. And a year after we broke up I met my husband. And 9 months later we was married now it been 2 years and he keep asking me to get my ex's name off my arm. I don't have no problem with it being there personally. But my husband says it is a problem because we are not together any more and that make him feel like I still love my kids father. What should I do. I like because It been there forever and it's cute. I don't regret it. Some times I wish I never done it but it there now. It didn't stop him from marrying me. It been 6yrs

Answer 1

Could you try and have it made into a flower or something?..Tattoo artists are amazing at what they do and a good one can give you some recommendations. I personally wouldn't really be bothered by it but it is like a "brand". I live on a ranch and we brand our cattle..ie we own them. He might be viewing the tattoo sorta like a brand ..for some weird reason that your ex still has his name on you therefore is still physically part of your life. Sounds weird but imagine him having a name on his arm that's not MOM...lol..

Answer 2

I have to understand as follows:

1. You have a son born through some one (the first man).

2. At the age of 2 years to your son, at your age of 16 years , you met the friend(the second man), with whom you stayed 8 years in dating.

3. Two years of your dating, resulted in getting pregnant again and blessed with a girl (daughter), through this second man in your life.

4.Both of you promised to stay together till end of life.

5. You got a third child another little girl.

6. In view of your happy and continued togetherness, you got your friend's name tattooed on your arm.
He is the father of your two daughters.

7. You both have ended up, by splitting after 8 years of dating.

8.A year after the break up with the second man, you met your husband. 9 months there after you married him and now it is 2 years of your relationship with your new husband.

9. You said you met your husband an year after he break up. Doe that mean that he is none other than the first man in your life , through whom, you had a son? or is he different person, a third man in your life? This is not clear from your story. How ever as you said in the question, my new husband, I am taking that the present husband is the third man in your life.

10.Now you had a marriage, and a husband. Mind you, earlier you didn't have a marriage, but although dating only for all the 8 years.

11. This third man, a new husband, has also allowed your son and two daughters, born through two other men before. Am I right?

12. Still, he married you and if both of you respect one another, this may go on for life.

13. There are two points.

(a) He can get the thought/ visualization of your earlier life with your ex-dating friend, every time he happens to see your tattoo on arm.

(b) He can also can not help with out the fact of your life with two other men, because the three children also make him remember that truth.

Just as you cover up the tattoo, permanently or temporarily on your arm, you cannot disappear/ vanish the three children.

14. So you tell him this point and convince him to continue with the tattoo. But you should not still feel proud of that tattoo and the second friend who dated for 8 years. But you should be grateful to the third man, or the new husband, for continuing the marriage life with you and also looking after the three children.

15. But if for any reason, if this new husband , still feel bad to see your tattoo, you should understand his sentiments, and agree to get it modified .

16. You cannot say your new husband is wrong. It is the understanding between the couple, so that they adjust each other and bring the differences to the barest minimum, is what is expected to be done.

Be a wise woman, and not a stubborn woman, raising your rights. May God bless you. My love and blessings to you.

Answer 3

You should still love your childrens' father, even if it didn't work out. You were with him for 8 years. As far as the tattoo, this is what happens when stupid people make permanent decisions. Tell your current hubby to check his jealousy and to get over it.

Answer 4

There lies the problem of marking your body with something so permanent. You could see about having it removed. No matter how cute you think it is, it is a contant reminder to the man that thought enough of you to marry you of the man that did not.

Answer 5

Now that you know it bothers your husband,it would be respectful to him if you had a tattooist cover it with a floral design,or anything with lots of lines & color...Your husband is reminded of another man each time he sees your arm.How would you feel in the reverse situation???

Answer 6

your reasons for wanting to keep the tattoo are irrelevant. you now husband is asking you to get rid of the tattoo now today, maybe it didnt bother him six years ago, but its bothering now so you need to have it removed. you must still want the ex since you have so many reason for wanting to keep it. its over between you two so let it go. grow up you are someones wife now, not his flussy. GodBless

Answer 7

A typical "What she wants vs. What he wants"
Who's going to make the sacrifice what he/she wants to make the other happy?
Personally though, if I'm with someone who I love enough to marry then you betcha I would had taken it off without his asking.

Are you really really really really really sure that you're not trying to keep your ex "alive" in your mind?

Answer 8

Sorry...but tattooing someones name on your body is really stupid! Your new husband obviously married you knowing that you had your former ex's name on your arm.....so why is it a problem now that you are married?

Answer 9

Yes u did to change the appearance of the fact that it looks difference

Answer 10

Since YOU are being "candid", I'll be "polite".
I'm sure he "knows" your "history" as you've told US. Perhaps he wants to feel "special" in your heart. By that I mean, he would likely feel more secure in your relationship/marriage if you'd "clear the canvas." Maybe it did'nt bother him before. Maybe he thought it would'nt bother him, but anyway it bothers him now.
What to due? There's a product I've heard advertised called,"Wrecking Balm." It sounds "painless", if it works "as advertised."
Good luck.