I knew this girl 17 yrs ago well we now are dating going on 6 months I am soon to be divorced after 12 yrs of marrage. She too had a similar relationship . We both are very defensive about everything beccause of are exes. Also we both have autistic children are we a match made in heaven, can we make our lives better being together and make this family work?
2007-10-31 16:51:55 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The best relationships are the ones when you are friends... If you both knew each other that long... Apparently you are friends... Being that you both have autistic children, I think it will benefit the both of you --sort of like a support system... Because you both know what it is like to raise your child and the demands and strains it would put on someone else... I am a hopeless romantic and believe in love... But, I believe love is a friendship, someone you could be with everyday and someone who will be with your through it all and not run scared... I think most of the problem is, people marry for lust/physical attraction and that will only get you so far... Just make sure you both will be there through it all... and that is what matters the most... Start off fresh... Don't let the past rule your future... Things happen, you just got to keep moving... Don't assume what happened in your past relationship will happen here... Jump in with both feet and don't look back... Good luck!
2007-10-31 17:38:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having been through a divorce (not a bad one but not easy either), I would recommend holding off.
Wait some time AFTER the divorce is official (I'd say a year minimum).
Take your time to get to know one another and see where things go.
Since you both have autistic children, at least you know how to deal with it. At the same time, does this increase the chance of you both having another child who is autistic?
You also didn't say who has custody of the children. This can come into play as well. If your ex's get a bee in their bonnet, living together may work against you.
2007-11-01 00:11:19 · answer #2 · answered by Hawk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When people marry who have been married before there is a tendency to bring "baggage" into the new marriage. I think if you two have open communication with each other without the other one getting upset, then you will probably be very happy together. There will be things that crop up every now and then after you're married, but communication is so important between a couple! God bless your union!!!
2007-10-31 23:58:20 · answer #3 · answered by Virginia B (John 16:33) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's better to try living together for a while and see if things work out before you take it to marriage.
All the best.
2007-11-01 00:07:47 · answer #4 · answered by InForm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have to ask,maybe the fact that you both have similarities in your lives has tricked you into believing that your a possible match.....Ask yourself some key questions.....
Do I feel good when I'm with her?
Are we compatible personalities?
Do we rear our children in a similar way?
Do I find her physically & mentally attractive?
How would I feel if she was out of my life?
Do I care for her emotionally?
Can I imagine spending the rest of my life with
her & her childern?
2007-11-01 00:12:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am glad you are thinking everything through. That is important. You both can make marriage work for you if you both try hard & work out the problems that will come up.
Best Wishes!
CRONKERS
2007-11-01 06:40:00 · answer #6 · answered by CRONKERS 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see why you couldn't marry at some point, but I would suggest you take things slow and see where the relationship goes, especially since kids are involved.
2007-11-01 00:02:22 · answer #7 · answered by looneybin90 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only if you can start with a clean slate. You are making each other pay for the ex's actions.
2007-11-01 00:46:33 · answer #8 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't get married yet.. I would wait it out for a while and just make sure that you guys are 100% together. Just give it time.
2007-11-01 00:24:38 · answer #9 · answered by RaeRay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never marry again, learn by the first! Just live together and have fun, life too short for them painful marriages!!
2007-11-01 00:01:41 · answer #10 · answered by comelucky96 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋