People older than 25... Is it or is it not the most frustrating thing in the world trying to give advice to...

Question

teenagers? We have all been through the crap they are going through and you so want to let them know our experiences and they so don't want to listen. I remember being that age and just thinking that I knew everything and no one could tell me any different. I guess it's just the way things are, but if you've ever figured out a way to get through to them, fill me in.

Answer 1

My daughter is 13 and she takes advice pretty well from me. I think it's all in how you say it. Some times I'll act like we're figuring things out together, or kind of lead her to a decision and let her feel like she figured ou the best thing and then I'll say "You Know, that's a really smart idea!" I don't ever preach to her or act like I've been there and done that and know it all. We figure stuff out together, even tho' I know that I already know it all! LOL! it also helps to have another person she admires like a friend's parent or her grandparents tell her stuff, sometimes they take advice from some one else better than from a parent.

Answer 2

I'm not older than 25, but I notice this too. Don't you remember when you were a teenager? Do your best to liken yourself and your experiences to what a person is going to. If you can empathize with someone, they're more likely to listen you.

Have you ever noticed how difficult it is to give advice to one of your peers, regardless of age? This is something that rarely ever changes. You might want to try and NOT give advice so much. Maybe people don't listen to you because it's not any good. Maybe you should just let people figure stuff out on their own, that's how I learn best.

Regards,

Brandon

Answer 3

After 40 years of teaching in the public school system, and living with my own two teenagers, they are still a phantasmagorical mystery.

Recent research studies have shown there is a psysiological difference in the brain of a teenager compared to elementary-age children, college-age students, and adults. Perhaps reading some of those studies might give you some insight into the "teenage" brain.

Answer 4

You need to keep in mind that being a teenager is a pendulum swing between childhood and adulthood, and that the object of this period is to make the teen break away from his or her parents and establish his/her own identity.

Yes, you want to save your child/neice/nephew/friend's child/student from making the same stupid mistakes you and your friends made at the same age. You want to help them through what is undoubtedly the toughest period of life there is, with the possible exception of the last years of life, when a person has to fight their own mind and body to maintain dignity.

My best suggestion is to not lecture, but listen. Engage them in thinking about solutions for themselves. Encourage and praise them when they do things right, because they are very awkward and insecure. Give them rules and don't let them break them without consequence - the outside world will not forgive them, why should you? Children actually thrive when there are rules (sane rules, that is). Let them talk and talk about their problems, but encourage them to try to solve them.

If they read, give them books. If not, have them watch films or tv shows where people have to make moral choices, and where there are consequences to doing bad things. I'm not talking junk films and books but some good films. Watch them with your teen and talk about them afterwards. Let the teen do most of the talking, too.

Encourage your teen to bring his or her friends over. Interact with them as well. If they misbehave, treat them like you would want another parent or responsible adult to treat your misbehaving teen. Explain that whatever bad behavior they did is not permitted in your home - if they can't behave, they must leave. If they want to come back, they must behave. You don't need to act like a teenager to befriend one.

Answer 5

Here is one of life's great truths.. At 14 I thought I was King of the world and the master Of my Fate. At 18 I knew that I was stupid at 14, and at 21 I knew I was stupid at 18, and at 25 I knew I was stupid at 21, at 31 I know that I am smarter, wiser and more intelligent than I have ever been. In 10 years.. I will know how truly full of cr@p I was at 31.

History lesson... We know our mistakes because we are all works in progress. Sometimes we need to slow down and realize that our parents were so right! Hahaha!

Answer 6

That is why unless the problem is serious, I let them try and fail. YOu learn more from your mistakes than your accomplishments. YOu can talk till you are blue in the face but you are right, we didn't listen either at their age, and neither will they. I think it is a passage into adulthood. Once they pass, they will realize that us older people know more than they think

Answer 7

It is frustrating but then so is trying to give advice to a 25 year old when you are 40 or older.

Answer 8

I told my three teen-aged kids that it is my job to make them HATE me, which they did at the time. I have lost count of the number of times I have been given the "I don't understand anything" speech.

Now that they are grown, they thanked me for not giving into their childish whims.

The WORST thing a parent can do is try to be a "friend" to their kids.

A mother bird feeds her young, but then one day kicks her babies out of the nest. At that point the hatch-lings probably hate their mother.

...But they learn how to fly.

Answer 9

Hi, funny enough the old adage *U can't put old heads on young shoulders* is so apt when u try and impart some knowledge on teens , who know it all( or think they do)
So like most of us we learnt the hard way ,life's school of hard knocks .
Unfortunately for the majority they will too, only the cluey ones listen n learn..LOL ciao ♥

Answer 10

in some cases no coz we at some time or another have been there and we can help them depending on what the situation is. It is true that some teenagers will not listen but there are some who will depending on the advice given.