Is it really men's fault or the media?

Question

There was a question posted earlier in this link that brought up this thought:http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Aj3ovMhVKOSOyprIjkWhqTwYxgt.;_ylv=3?qid=20071031120652AAljIuy

So why do SOME women that are insecure and have body issues and are such critics of themselves take blame on men? Granted there are very picky jerks, but as you see from the answers in that link, men are not all up into the perfect playboy look as women think. Of course men find that quite sexually attractive, but it seems that many guys find women of different shapes and sizes sexy and aren't as particular as some women think. Like there are many women that I see at the mall that I find attractive that don't have perfect bodies, but still look good. There is always a feature or so that even among these women that is sexy. So if the blame should come, I think the media should be blamed more so, because men's perceptions of women's bodies are more appreciative I think than the "idealized" media view.

Answer 1

I've never heard anyone blame men for why women are insecure about their appearance. The constant stream of media images plays a small part in the problem.
Yes...women dress up and doll themselves for men.

I think that women worry more about impressing other women. Women are the ones that pick apart each others appearance. Men don't usually notice all the little things that women do.

Answer 2

OK Hmmm well I might dig a hole here but here it goes. Personally I like an athletic women and the reason is to me it shows she cares about herself enough to put some effort into looking the way she does. Now granted there are medical conditions where no matter how hard a person tries they can't lose weight and then there is the opposite side where they can't gain it. I don't like models bodies I like a tone body. I want someone who is not a stick but I don't want an overweight one either and once again call me shallow but it is my chemical makeup that is the cause no matter how hard I try I can not be physically attracted to a women who's body I don't care to see naked! It would be like a women saying they don't like hairy men I mean we are who we are and we want what we want and it is pretty much impossible to change the things that cause us to find someone attractive or not. This is part of our chemistry and it is a good thing that no 2 people are alike. I am just being honest and i am willing to take my lumps for it. Sorry if I have offended anyone!

Answer 3

As we women get older we see past this more as a blame game. I know that my husband thinks I am hot whether I just woke up and am groggy w/o makeup wearing a favorite old T-shirt or if I am dressed up in a nice outfit with my hair and makeup done. So its not men who are to blame. Media- well you have to be pretty naive to look at magazine pics and think they are real- I did a modeling shoot a few years back and afterwards my photog magically erased my stretch marks and all other imperfections. The real culprit is ourselves. Woman compare ourselves to a fantasy image that is unattainable, and even if they can look perfect for who they are they usually want a feature that someone else has. The best way to win the beauty war, is to start loving yourself for things other than looks and then loving your look as a complimentary feature.

Answer 4

You make a good point...the media is responsible for perpetuating certain "ideals", and in the end, women really do suffer for this. Most women will never meet those physical "standards" or "ideals." (They aren't realistic.) And many will strive for them, and suffer for it, and not be happy with themselves, even after numerous plastic surgeries and such. And maybe the media is also partially to blame for the fact that men seem to think that these "ideals" for female beauty are reachable and attainable, and some may never be satisfied because they are looking for something that really doesn't exist. I think it hurts women further that men seem to judge them by these "ideals." Perhaps women mistakenly think that they are being judged by them. In some cases, however, they really are. According to the media, we should all be perfect size 7's, look like a fashion model, be as sexual as porn stars, and as shallow as as a dried-up mud puddle. Sad. Most women don't fit this criteria. I think that people need to be more aware of the harm the media can inflict and the relationship between the media and society's expectations. We need to insist a little more on realism.

Answer 5

You are quite correct. We humans, come in all different, shapes and sizes. The media do influence some folk, that is what they get paid for. However I am of the opinion that most of us common Joes, have our own idea of what we want in a partner, friend, etc, and have the ability to look at women and men and decide for ourselves whether they are attractive or not. This could be feature, eyes, smile, bottom, boobs, tall, short, small, medium, large, pale skin, dark skin, yellow skin
and of course personality. Not all men are as shallow as certain reading materials may report. Some women are guilty of being the creators of their own downfall. Thank goodness we are not all the same. When you see something that is beautiful, be it human or animal, we all have the ability to show appreciation, and that's where it stops.

Answer 6

I very rarely hear men blamed and I feel most women are intelligent enough to make their own decisions about the media, so that only leaves one person left to "blame" on insecurity and body issues....the woman.

Answer 7

I never saw the link being blocked and from the sounds of it it probably wasn't worth my time and the poster did me a great service the way I look at it. So on to your post: actually it's the fault of perception; how people perceive things, often times the majority perceptors win out; often times it's not always to the liking of everyone.