I am... "engaged", but not officially. I wont consider myself as officially engaged until I have my ring. Some people consider this being materialistic, I consider it being traditional. What is a girl to do.?
2007-10-31 11:34:37 · 40 answers · asked by pretty82 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i do agree that a ring is a traditional followup to a proposal but if he honestly can not afford a ring, then what is a girl to do??? be patient, he may be saving for the ring but wanted to let you know how deep his love is for you.
if he can afford it and just hasn't, then a gentle nudge wouldn't be out of place. a simple comment along the lines of
"i'm so looking forward to having an engagement ring"
or just ask if you are going with him to look at rings? if money is an issue then tell him you don't want anything extravagant.
perhaps he isn't sure of what to buy or perhaps he has ordered one or is having one made for you.......so be careful of your tone when you bring it up!
he can love you and he can want to marry you and still not have very much money. a ring is just a symbol, you engagement began the moment you answered his 'will you marry me'. i wouldn't nag him into anything - certainly not into a ten thousand dollar ring - to my mind that is simply childish and you want the ring to come from his heart not from your nagging! you know him better than most so you have to decide what the situation is.
good luck! congrats and have a wonderful life!
2007-10-31 11:45:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
It is some what materialistic, and it is also somewhat traditional. The ring is just a symbol of the promise, not the actual promise. You are officially engaged. As soon as you said yes, that was the official engagement. A ring would just let everyone know, without having to tell them.
2007-10-31 11:46:58 · answer #2 · answered by ♦justme♦ 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Have you and your partner decided to get married?
If the answer is yes, you are engaged - officially.
There's nothing wrong with wanting a ring. Talk to your fiancé, and let him know you would really like a ring as a symbol of the engagement. It's a very simple matter to resolve. Of course, it would depend on why he hasn't given you a ring to begin with - for instance, if it's against his religious beliefs, or if he's broke, the problem lies deeper than just the ring itself. But whatever the situation is, you should address it, no need to get all worked up over it. If both of you are reasonable people, you should have no trouble resolving this minor issue. In marriage, there will be bigger battles to fight... pick wisely! Conrats.
2007-10-31 12:16:59 · answer #3 · answered by Sandy Ego 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are engaged when you and your partner have agreed to get married. A ring is a token of this commitment, but it's not what makes you engaged - the actual agreement to marry does.
If a ring is important to you, suggest you and your fiancé go ring shopping together, and pick out one you both like. It can be a special experience. But as long as you two have agreed to marry, you ARE engaged, there's no way around it.
And, btw, a diamond engagement ring is a fairly recent tradition, started in the 40s or 50s as a consequence of a successful marketing campaign by (I think) De Beers. Don't get too hung up on traditions - go with the flow. There are things more timeless than rings, don't lose sight of the bigger picture.
2007-10-31 11:46:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
You're either engaged or your not. There is no such thing as "not officially". If you require a material object for you to consider yourself "officially engaged", then yes you are materialistic.
At the same time, I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting a traditional engagement and wedding. Going through all of the motions in the world mean nothing if you don't have your priorities strait.
Think about it.
2007-10-31 11:43:43 · answer #5 · answered by Dante 3 · 5⤊ 1⤋
You can't help how you feel...tradition or no tradition. I wouldn't call it an engagement (more like a promise, maybe) until I had the ring on my finger representing a union soon to come. Just be patient...all will occur in God's time, which always better than your time frame.
2007-11-01 04:15:01 · answer #6 · answered by Neenie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not materialistic, it is all about the symbol of committment, I am with you it would not feel official without the ring, I am sure you would be happy with a ring that didnt cost a kings ransom, but yeah whats the first thing we do when we tell someone we are engaged?,,,, we show them the ring,
good luck
2007-10-31 12:51:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would feel the same way. it is like his having a drivers license but no car. dont give up your standards, the world needs disciplined ones like you who want traditional things.
what do you do? you go to the mall with him to buy shoes and as you pass the jewelry store windows you grab his arm and sigh and smile lovingly at him when you see the engagement rings. every time you see one on someone ask him dont you think that is a gorgeous ring, that kind of thing.
some people dont care about rings and such, good for them, they have the right to feel that way, you and i have the right to feel our way.
2007-10-31 13:00:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe you are engaged if you answered yes to the proposal, the ring is just a symbol of that acceptance- not the official acceptance of it. I'm sure there are good reasons why u don't have your ring yet. Congratulations and blessings on your new path.
2007-10-31 11:39:36 · answer #9 · answered by DJA30 3 · 6⤊ 1⤋
People told me I wasn't officially engaged until I had a ring. I told them that the moment I said yes, I was engaged, ring or no ring. Perhaps he can't afford a ring for you right now, but wanted to let you know that he does want to marry you. I say that it is the thought that counts.
2007-10-31 11:38:58 · answer #10 · answered by RedRabbit 7 · 6⤊ 2⤋