my parents have been divorced for almost 2 years, & i;m handling it well. but my parents r still upset. my dad always tells me all this crap about my mom, and puts a huge load on my shoulders to be the brave one. i mean, i know he's lonely & only wants some1 to talk to, but he always tells me all this stuff! i was fine before, but now, he's gotten me all depressed. my mom just says all sorts of mean things about my dad, but not as often. i've told her & remind her when she starts to say things, but it's completely different with my dad. i want to b respectful, but he would defonatley break down. i just want him to stop telling me that he did all that he could!!! this is something i've been batling for months. i've prayed to God, giving my life up to Him, and hoping that the knowledge of His Son will help me, but i feel defeated. any christian ideas? . i'm just a 14 year old girl who feels like evry time she sees her dad, she thinks he's going 2 give her a long sermon & break my heart.
2007-10-31 10:13:53 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Tell them both how you feel and maybe suggest some family counseling
2007-10-31 10:27:51 · answer #1 · answered by Kitty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was 15 when my parents divorced and it was a long and bitter divorce. It's been over 5 years now and they still try to put me in the middle. It was very difficult for me as I'm sure it is for you. I actually didn't talk with my mom for almost a year and I regret every minute of it. My dad would tell me all of these lies about her, and I believed some of them.....I know it was very stupid. The only good thing that's come out of the divorce is the stronger relationship with my mom. I still hear rude comments, etc. from both sides....mainly my dad and I just remind him that they're both my parents and they need to work together for the greater good. Keep the communication open to both parents and make sure you let them know how you feel. They need to understand that it does hurt you and you will be effected for the rest of your life by their decisions too. Good luck, and it might be a good idea to chat with a third party like a counselor at your school, or someone from your church who doesn't have biased opinions that you can openly share things with. I hope everything gets better for you!
2007-10-31 10:31:03 · answer #2 · answered by Farmer Chic 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My girlfriend is in the same situation and her parents have been divorced for 4 years now. She's 19 and she's still hearing crap from both of her parents. I think you need to sit down with your mom, then your dad, and tell them how you feel. Tell them that they're making you confused and depressed and you just want to have a good relationship with them. Tell them that you don't want to feel used and tired anymore.
Best of luck to you. There are thousands of other sons and daughters that feel the way you do.
2007-10-31 10:32:22 · answer #3 · answered by Skelli 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you an only child? If not, does your sibling(s) get the same treatment and do they feel the same way?
It is 100% wrong of divorced parents to talk badly about the ex-spouse to, or even in front of, the kids. But, judging from other comments here, it seems to happen a lot.
My parents didn't get divorced until I was almost 30. My Dad doesn't say anything about my Mom, but she does about him. I have told her to stop but she doesn't listen or care.
I think a lot of people here have given some good ideas for you.
2007-10-31 12:45:32 · answer #4 · answered by petrof_skinsky 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, sit your dad down and tell him you do not want to know "his issues" concerning your mom. That you love them both and that is unfair to lay this burden on your shoulders.
You can do this respectfully of your dad he not be hurt or fall apart about it. He's the adult.... he needs to deal with the issues and get over them. Putting you in the middle is not fair nor is it good parenting.
2007-10-31 10:27:27 · answer #5 · answered by ♥♥The Queen Has Spoken♥♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i can totally relate to you & i know how you feel.
my parents have been divorced for 12 years, and i'm 13.
and i'm used to this whole dad talking about mom and mom talking about dad thing.
and it feels horrible when you have to listen to this.
..you don't have to listen to your dad say all this. just tell him how you really feel but also say that it's ok for him to express how he feels.
worked for me.
2007-10-31 10:25:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm confused.
Sorry, but I can't help. PUSH. Pray until something happens.
2007-10-31 10:20:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋