Married at a young age. I know that many older people discourage it, yet they too were married really young.?

Question

So if you feel that you really love this person is it wrong to get married at a young age?

Answer 1

Marriage is hard work and it is very difficult to express to anyone just how complex it can be. Love (like it or not) will not keep a marriage together. Love is NOT all you need. Most (not all) young people do not have the life experience nor coping skills to properly deal with life's complications compounded with the stress of marriage. That is why most feel young marriage is unwise.

If a couple has a reasonable/rational/logical state of mind there is a good chance that when life stress becomes overwhelming the couple could learn and grow together. However, youth (throughout history) has never been known for be rational or reasonable.

I honestly feel that most people should at least wait until they are 21 to get married. That gives them time to have been on their own after high school and experienced life outside the comfort and protection of their parents home.

Answer 2

I got married at a young age, and it's worked out...but I don't recommend it for most people, and I'm discouraging my children from doing it. You should live awhile on your own, enjoy your freedom and opportunities, get to know yourself first.

Marriage is hard anyway, and marrying young makes it twice as hard. Usually you don't have a lot of money and you're starting from scratch, which puts more financial stress on you. I believe people change all through their lives, so you're always going to have to deal with your mate's changes no matter how old you are...but still, what people here are saying about the big personality changes between 18 and 25 are true.

Keep in mind a lot of older couples who married young and are still married are that way because their generation didn't believe in divorce, not because they're in love. And past generations, in my opinion, were a lot more mature at a younger age than we are today.

Answer 3

Yes, I agree that is not the best decision to be married too young. I was 20, hubby 22 when we married. We have a good marriage now 15 years later, but we had alot of struggles along the way. If I had it to do over again, he would still be the one, but I would want to wait until we were older. I can't speak for him but I don't think I really should have gotten married until I was 24 or 25. He is a great husband, tho and we are happy so it worked out well after all.

Answer 4

I got married at a young age, and was tied down with kids, I didn't get to have the fun other girls my age where having, I was a mom. I didn't go to college, and have had to work nothing jobs most of my life. Not that I don't make bad money, for not having a lot of education. I say you can love that person, but you need to experience life,( both of you do) or you will feel like you missed out on something. I don't regret having my kids, I just wish I would have waited. If it is true love, it will be there as you grow, if not, then you saved yourself a lot of money on a divorce, and breaking up a family.

Answer 5

Generations ago people got married young because they also died young. In 1920, life expectancy was the 50's, so if you wanted to live long enough to raise your children to adulthood, you had to start in your early 20's. People are living to be 80-100 years old now. When you are young you don't really know who you are and have not experienced life enough. You may get married and realize you were just dumbstruck by a the new experience of love.

Answer 6

Depends on how young? Sometimes marriages can work and others can't. The people usually grow apart or they rushed into a relationship and realize they aren't the person they once wanted. Other times they are too young and decide marriage isn't what they want. They want to enjoy the single life and be with different people rather than one. Sometimes a marriage can work and those people will live together for eternity. I know my grandparents married real young and their going on 50 years being married. It all depends really.

Answer 7

Before 25, typically yes, and here is why. Between 18 and 25 your personality changes more than any time in your life. You are going to college, getting a job, taking on real responsibilities. All these things shape who we are. If you get married at 18, you run the risk of either of you or both of you being totally different people in a few short years, and wondering why the heck you ever married this person. How can someone know you until you are who you are going to be? Hell, I'm 42 and still trying to figure it out.

Answer 8

"So if you feel that you really love this person is it wrong to get married at a young age?"

Because LOVE isn't everything to a marriage. Love isn't what sustains a marriage. Hard work is. It takes hard work to stay in love, and it's not the same love you had when you dated, got married, etc. Those love feelings DO change. Most people who marry young have a 99% chance of divorce by the time they are 25. The reason for that is what I stated above.

Many people have had grandparents marry young, but what they fail to realize is the grandparents KNOW what hard work is. They worked very hard on farms, in factories, grew up in the Depression, and KNOW what it takes to sustain a marriage(hard work) Most young people today don't know what hard work really is.

Answer 9

Yes...and I believe that the people who have done it and then discourage it should be the best reason to listen to the advice...they've been through it and are just trying to save you from problems.

In my opinion, children grow up, turn in to teenagers, graduate high school, go to college, graduate college and then begin thier careers...each of these "times" in thier lives are turning points, changes, and with them, people change. You can't expect to be the same person at 27 as you were are 18,19, or 20...so you shouldn't put yourself into a marriage when there is still so much changing left to do. Concentrate on school when you are young; concentrate on beginning a career and then concentrate on getting married.

Answer 10

I think it's great to get married younger. I got married at 20.
Be prepared though. How well do you all handle money? Money is the reason for most divorces. Make sure you all are on the same page as far as spending and saving goes.