My fiancée, whom I loved more than anything, and dated for 4 years broke up with me in June, stating that she needs to find her individuality.Needless to say I was devastated. It’s been almost 6 months since this happened and all I can think about is her from the second I wake up to when I go to bed.. I have been trying to keep myself VERY VERY VERY BUSY, but she is all I think about.
2007-10-31 07:55:07 · 30 answers · asked by Jennaba9048 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
SNAP OUT OF IT!!
You have every right to be sad, depressed, etc. That is a long time to love someone so truly -- but you are lucky to have her leave now instead of after you got married!
You must be a good person to have a relationship that long, so enjoy life and move on...you will find someone even better that will love you as much as you love them.
There really are thousands of fish in the sea...get out and live!
2007-10-31 08:00:16 · answer #1 · answered by Captain Obvious 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well keeping busy is a good thing, its takes TIME and even after a long time you will still think about her...but not as bad with each day, some days will be harder then others though. If you are a guy just go out there and check out the fish in the sea, and this is hard...try not to compare everyone to hear, and everyone is not going to know you the way she did, this is very hard, but force yourself. Do fun things, depend on family at this time, and in no time you should make it thru it. Good luck
2007-10-31 15:00:10 · answer #2 · answered by NewOrderFan 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to work through the steps of "mourning" which comes with the end of a relationship.
1) Denial
2) Anger/Resentment
3) Bargaining
4) Depression
5) Acceptance
I'm not saying that you behave as if "she" is dead, but obviously the relationship that you had, the dreams that you had, the hopes for the future - all of that has ended, and you need to come to terms with that.
It is possible a professional session or two might be nescessary if you can't accept the situation on your own.
2007-10-31 15:01:56 · answer #3 · answered by jbtascam 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Contrary to other opinions, 6 months is not a long time after being in a 4 year relationship. You WILL get over it, but take as much time as you need. Every individual is different. Good luck.
2007-10-31 15:02:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Recipe for breakups:
1. Get rid of EVERYTHING that is her. Throw out all her photos, her phone numbers, greeting cards, love letters, take her out of your cell phone, erase her emails, erase her email address, get rid of gifts she gave you, etc... Out of sight, out of mind really does HELP ENORMOUSLY. It is painful, but think about it - you don't need that stuff anymore - she's gone.
2. Go to Match.com and fill out one of those profiles and start meeting other people - even if it is for a drink - who cares. It's nice meeting people of the opposite sex and having NO PRESSURE. Also, when you go out with these people - don't mention your ex-fiance's name more than once.
3. Make a concerted effort NEVER to say your ex-fiance's name EVER. The more often you mention or talk about her, the worse the pain will be. Remember, out of sight out of mind.
Don't let your mourning get in the way of discovering the new love of your life. Yes, there is more than one "soul mate" for EVERYONE! In a few years, you will look back and thank your ex-fiance for breaking up with you because if she hadn't you would have never have met the real woman of your dreams.
2007-10-31 15:29:38 · answer #5 · answered by Dina K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you do. It's a devistating blow to your heart and to your ego. You can't change her, you can only move to better yourself. I'm so sorry for you. It will get better, but you've already heard this. Try this: Keep a journal, a voice recorded journal if you don't like to write, seek counseling. Get involved with something that had absolutely nothing to do with her, such as a cause or a hobby. These worked for me. ;)
2007-10-31 15:01:54 · answer #6 · answered by maggieeld 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is diffficult. Anyway, the only advice is that time heals all wounds. Your depression isn't going to go away overnight. The only thing you can do is try to move on with your life. Try to date other women. Also, talking to a therapist may also be helpful. Good luck
2007-10-31 15:00:23 · answer #7 · answered by stv62575 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know guys that have pined for a girl 18-30 years after breaking up! I think you are glorifying her. You have joined match.com and have a hot rich chick in your bed now. You lost your job, seems to me like you should put your energy towards finding a new one.
My understanding is she was cheating on you anyways. Who would want to marry someone that would do that to a fiance?
2007-10-31 15:15:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Individuality? Huh? Were you too smothering of her?I mean it's been 6 months and you think of her from the moment you wake until you go to bed? Honey get over it and don't smother the next girl.
2007-10-31 16:32:54 · answer #9 · answered by ♥LeNore♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
And thats going to happen. You still love her very much and you can't just get over her. Unfortunately you can't make someone love you, they do or they just don't feel it. I am really sorry for your loss, The only thing you can really do is continue living. Yeah it hurts that shes not around but don't let her destroy your life. Remember you did what you could for her, it was her choice not yours, I am sorry.
2007-10-31 14:59:01 · answer #10 · answered by Hrscrzy4 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋