i have been married for 27 years and love my husband,,but am not in love with him. my heart has always belonged to my ex,,should i have an affair with him.. we both want to and still have very strong feelings for each other.
2007-10-31 07:23:09 · 37 answers · asked by mafossa63 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
NO an affair will never cause anything other than problems!!!
Why don't people understand this? If you do not love your husband than do him a favor and divorce him so he can find someone that will love him and you will be free to do as you will with this ex...Until then do nothing because nothing good will ever come out of a relationship that was started with lies and deceit
2007-10-31 07:26:03 · answer #1 · answered by ~NIKKI~ 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
NO!!! There is a reason that is your ex from over 27 years ago. The reason you still have strong feelings for him now is because you are still living 3 decades ago with him in your mind. I am sure you are both different people than you were then. And the ex is not the one that you see day in and day out, the one who has sacrificed for you and you have sacrificed for, the one who has built a house and a home with you, the one who has been with you at your best and at your worst. You are thinking that the grass is greener on the other side - TRUST ME - it isn't, and if it looks that way, it's because it's over the septic tank. Of course the butterflies in the stomach have passed in your marriage - you have been married 27 years for goodness sake! Who knows you better than your hubby? Who else can tell you the 27 years of your history better than he can? You will realize what you have lost once it is gone - and if you cross that line, you will have violated one of the most precious of covenants. Do not throw your love away on a fling with a memory - YOU WILL BE SORRY THAT YOU DID.
2007-10-31 08:21:48 · answer #2 · answered by Trrrrunks! 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should take the word of anyone here as an answer to that question. No, I think you're asking in the wrong forum. The person you should be asking is your husband. Maybe he wouldn't care if you had sex with this other guy, if your marriage is as distant as it sounds. Or, maybe you could open things up where you both get to have sex with other people -- fair's fair. Just don't feel like you have to do anything behind your husband's back, because 27 years is a big investment and a lot of trust just to throw away. So, buck up, be brave, and go ask your husband this question!
2007-10-31 07:30:18 · answer #3 · answered by Happy-2 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
One of the most difficult decisions I ever had to make was leaving a relatively good marriage in hopes of loving the one man that has been the love of my life since I met him. That decision was based on the understanding that it's important to keep our agreements, only I had agreed to more than I could give. Like you, I loved my husband, but I wasn't in love with him. It's a very personal decision, which no one can make for you. The argument against having an affair is that you are breaking a marriage agreement. If you're not able or willing to keep the agreement, best then to end the marriage agreement and move on. You must make your own decision, but my suggestion is to either keep the marriage agreement or end the marriage agreement, but not to break it covertly i.e affair.
2007-10-31 07:56:05 · answer #4 · answered by shine_radiantstar 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
how would you feel if you found out your husband was having an affair on you? Not very good I imagine. Under no circumstances is it opk to cheat on your spouce. If your feelings are true then you need to be a grown-up and either seek marraige counseling or divorce.
P.S. Does your husband know you have been speaking with your ex? B/c if you are having these feeligs, just the fact that you & your ex are talking is an act of betrayal.
2007-10-31 07:27:09 · answer #5 · answered by autumn 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You've already had an affair. You've never stopped having one.
You need some serious marriage counsel if you have any chance left to salvage your current marriage. I really feel for your husband.
The only hope left is for you to become a mature person of responsibility, to which you have allowed your feelings and emotions to run amock for all these years, like a little girl. Stop being a little girl and be the wife, woman and best friend your husband needs. Do you, your husband, and family a favor... stop being so selfish, and think of others beside yourself, and make it work!
2007-10-31 07:33:44 · answer #6 · answered by splashdesign238 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to end your Marriage, if you are indeed IN Love w/ your ex. The "Fantasy" of still "loving him" may be ALL there is to it. Suppose you divorce your husband, and get w/ your ex and then ya'll realize it was just the "excitment of having an affair that kept your flames a burnin' " ??! Ex's are just that (Ex's !! ) for a reason. If you Love your husband as you proclaim, then don't disrespect him. He deserves your honesty. If you aren't in love, then give him the respect of knowing that.
2007-10-31 07:37:47 · answer #7 · answered by casper 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it is not fair to the husband you have spent 27 years with. It is actually not fair that you are living with one man and still in love with another. It is not fair to either of the men.
If you and your ex want to be together so badly then leave your husband and move on. Give him the chance to find someone who will love him the way you love your ex.
Good Luck
2007-10-31 07:32:06 · answer #8 · answered by mn lady 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes, letting go seems like the easiest thing to do. But think about this: you've invested so much of your time and energy into another person; you've made a solemn promise; and you still know there's love, even if it's hiding underneath the surface. This website will show you how to save a marriage and avoid divorce, even if you're the only one trying https://tr.im/Hh72O
2015-01-28 15:51:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rather then mess up your already rocky marriage, why don't you seek marriage counseling?
Having an affair will not fix the situation but will only cause mixed emotions and even more problems in the long run.
Are you really willing to set yourself up for more pain and agony or are you willing to work on your marriage?
If you don't want to work on it, split up with your husband.. he doesn't deserve to be cheated on.
2007-10-31 07:45:59 · answer #10 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋