Little about me which I don't tell anyone publicly. My father was very absuive to the hilt for many years to my mom and family--me. Also, I was almost raped by a man at a church function just after we met. As a result I hate and despise men interiorly, but I am kind to them on a daily basis exteriorly. So why do stupid and uncaring people assume you are gay if you are not married or dating. Most people don't even know about my background or what happened to me.
I'm not saying that's why most women are not married, but it's what happened to me. Anyone else out there like that?
2007-10-31 07:06:56 · 10 answers · asked by Born Valentine's Day 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I’ve never made that assumption and I'm wondering if people who do have picked up on your hatred of men, which you must realize is pretty unhealthy.
Please seek therapy before you ever have children because you may have a boy and the kind of emotional baggage you have would be extremely detrimental to him.
I'm sorry about the rape and abuse you have suffered, it takes a lot of courage to revisit painful past experiences but in the end, if you get the right help, examining your past will give you clarity and help you accept what happened.
Best of Luck to you.
2007-10-31 07:28:31 · answer #1 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To address your original question, I think most people jump to the conclusion of a single woman being gay because it is easier for them to think that than it is for them to think that you might just not want an intimate relationship.
Being married, especially for women, is considered the "norm" and a lot of people have trouble thinking outside the "norm". They have to have an excuse if someone does not fall within that category. And the older a woman gets, the more likely they are to assume she is gay. There is not a lot you can do about it but ignore them. It does not matter what someone else thinks about you.
As for your experiences with men, it is very sad that your main interractions with the male sex have been violent. If you let it, it wil color your decisions for the rest of your life. That would be letting the violent men of your past win.
Why not get yourself into counseling so you can put the past behind you permanently. It does not matter if you ever want to marry or have a man in your life, but it does matter if you don't have peace for your life.
Good Luck
2007-10-31 14:27:17 · answer #2 · answered by mn lady 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you thought maybe your dislike of men is coming through in other ways rather than just being because you aren't married? Body language and tone of voice say a lot about a person. You might want to talk about your anger towards men with someone. I understand where you are coming from, but not every man you meet is a potential rapist. On the contrary, most men would never think of touching a woman improperly. You need to talk to someone regarding therapy after rape. This is where your anger is coming from and unless you address it, it will (if it already hasn't) taken over your life.
2007-10-31 14:58:50 · answer #3 · answered by Really now 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because humans aren't perfect.....humans share in that we are all scarred, some externally, some internally, some a little of both.
You do not need to be married to be happy....but I would suggest you might want to talk to someone about your issues with men. It cannot be good for you to walk through life so untrusting because of the actions of a few. Not saying you should be with a man, just loose some of your fears.
Good Luck to you!!!
2007-10-31 14:22:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
In our stupid community people dont have anything better to do so they love to interfer in others business without knowing the fact or problems that the other person has so I would sugget that just ingore people like that and just do whatever makes u happy...
2007-10-31 14:22:05 · answer #5 · answered by kajal c 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It doesnt matter what others think/say/feel. And if you're uncomfortable in your skin, or around men, perhaps you should consider resolving that issue, before assuming that folks are categorizing you.
2007-10-31 14:19:00 · answer #6 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
who cares what other people think, they're just ignorant and dont deserves your attention!
honey, i know where your coming from, and you really should try to look for a better tomorrow and ignore the yesterdays.
i wish you the best.
2007-10-31 14:18:13 · answer #7 · answered by ♥Sonadora♥ 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
i don't have that problem, but i understand where you are coming from. i think that if you haven't already, you should go to counseling to help you cope with your past.
ppl who judge you w/o knowing you are the epitome of ignorance. ignore them.
2007-10-31 14:15:43 · answer #8 · answered by buk84 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
i think you need to see someone to have your issues worked out then you wont be so bitter about life and men.
2007-10-31 14:12:37 · answer #9 · answered by Nessaja 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
never heard of people assuming women who arent married are gay..?
2007-10-31 14:16:26 · answer #10 · answered by lilly 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋