About a month ago my boyfriend of a year and a few months (we lived together) broke up with me over text message while he was away on a military training trip (the training was 6 weeks). Later I found out it's because he met someone else (and it was obvious), How can someone say they love you and the next day they find someone else, or are interested in someone else? Where is the loyalty? He said that we were "drifting apart", my mother was in the hospital so I didn't have as much time to talk to him, and so he found someone else. I'm obviously still hurt, and am shocked that someone can move on so fast. I was really close to his child from a previous relationship, and it was so easy for him to throw everything away.
This month has been really hard. I have had to find an apartment, move all of my stuff out, along with being reminded of a failed relationship. I feel rejected and unwanted. So I guess some supportive words would be great. Thanks in advance.
2007-10-31 06:37:26 · 9 answers · asked by Lenka 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My mother is doing better....thanks
2007-10-31 06:49:40 · update #1
basically, he's a loser who can't be alone for 10 minutes! forget about him... he's a boy in a man's body... better to find out about him now, than later in a marraige! anyway... supportive words for you... you are a great, strong woman, who is always there for the people important to you, nothing wrong w/ that! now you know what to look for in a man, one who can be away from you and be ok with being away from you when you need to do something, and also be faithful... good luck girl =)
2007-10-31 06:43:58 · answer #1 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh, yeah, like it's all your fault. He's the one who's away, and you're being faithful, and yet he found someone else? (Why was he looking?) It's all your fault of course that your mum was hospitalised, and that he took the training course, and probably that he was in the military at all. And he broke up via TEXT? Coward! He may be a soldier but he's no hero!
What a total dweeb he is. I'd say he did you a favour. Oh, I know, hon--you hurt, you feel guilty and you miss him. But you need to let yourself get angry. You don't need a man who is going to blame you for his infidelity. If you had stayed together he would have started blaming you for his every failing and problem.
The relationship certainly didn't fail because you were looking after your mum, or because you stayed home while he went away on a trip you couldn't have accompanied him on anyway. Talking to him is more important than looking after your ailing mother? Puh--leeze. How spoiled is this guy?
You are a good woman, kind and warm hearted. Someone is going to notice that. I can promise...mine did. I got torn up in a bad relationship too, I wasn't even looking when my husband of 24 yrs this month appeared.
Hang tough, girl. You're worth it.
2007-10-31 10:36:21 · answer #2 · answered by anna 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems like you are going through a tough year, and I am sorry everything piled up on you. The only part that is really worrying is your mother at hospital, how is she doing? Other than that, ending a relationship, moving to a new place, etc. takes a lot of effort, especially emotional effort. But more than the shreds of what used to be your life, these are all changes, and trust me whe I say this, it's for the better. You need some time to yourself to grieve properly and then move on. I know at times it seems like you are life's clown and even life itself is laughing at you. But new cycles will bring so many better things for you.
Recomendations:
- Weekend trip with a best friend
- Weekend in pijamas w/ icecream and chick flick marathon
- Bubble bath
- Therapy
You will survive. Give your new life a chance.
2007-10-31 06:46:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be thankful that it ended before YOU had his child and married him...you may never understand how he can act so fine right away..just accept that he's that type of person and be glad you have a new start to find a guy that is NOT like that. I'm 30 and have never been married and I realized how lucky I am to have had the chance to date the WRONG guys so that I know when a right one comes along. After my last REALLY bad break-up I took 6 months ALONE to really do some soul searching. I set my new and improved standards in stone in my head and refuse to lower them. Once you have the confidence in yourself to not settle you'll be golden!!
2007-10-31 06:49:08 · answer #4 · answered by laura1977 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
u cant move on that fast if u cared about the person . it sounds like he ia a user. dont let it worry you and u are not a loser or failure.u need to spend some time alone. get your own apartment. live free and single for a while. feel the grand times of what it is to be single and free.have a party, come on over we'll party together. it's great being single.been there for 15 years.
2007-10-31 06:48:37 · answer #5 · answered by spoodleroo 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
he already had the other girl, behind your back. they just don't up and decide that fast to leave one relationship and move on, its been on his mind but u never saw it coming. it wasn't about the texting on your part, he is just using that to justify his betrayal. join a grief group, or a therapy group of people who are hurting like yourself, they will be helpful to u as u are going through this very rough time. right now your in shock to think a person you gave your heart to could do this to u, but he did. when we love someone its hard to admit to ourselves that maybe they weren't who we thought they were. sometimes when we are brokenhearted, turning to god is the only path that will help u. he already had the other woman and planned this a while back only u didn't see it.
2007-10-31 06:46:07 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
PLEASE be thankful that he's not a part of your life. It has nothing to do with you personally. You've heard the ole saying, 'ya cant please all the people, all the time'.
Keep that in mind. It may not feel like it, but it was a good experience for you. In fact, all our life's experiences make us the people we are. Be strong for YOU! Dont give him a 2nd thought. He's not worth it. I guarantee he will tire of the new gal quickly. Move on, and ENJOY YOU!
Hope your mom is well!
2007-10-31 06:47:22 · answer #7 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How's this for supportive words?:
Its obvious you're better off without him. Staying and marrying would have been disasterous.
Feel better now?
2007-10-31 07:14:14 · answer #8 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah hes a corward...txt message...pffff.....punch him in the face!!!!!!!!!! Just remember, things WILL get better and there are pleanty of fish in the sea!!!!!!!
2007-10-31 06:54:48 · answer #9 · answered by kbenson55 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋