Say person A expresses love with flowers. Its there natural way to express love and receive love.
Say person B expresses love with sex. Its their natural way to express love and receive love.
Person A wants more flowers from Person B and Person B wants more sex from Person A.
So should a person express love the way their partner would like it OR should a person accept love in the way their partner wants to give it?
2007-10-31 06:20:09 · 12 answers · asked by snack_daddy10 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Is it also human nature to not going the extra mile if you feel the other person has also stopped?
2007-10-31 06:36:06 · update #1
Isn't our own laziness that causes the problems in our relationship?
We stop doing what they like, but expect them to continue doing what we like.
2007-10-31 06:37:23 · update #2
There's a book about this called "The Five Love Languages." It is all about how we each have our own primary way of giving and receiving love. You shouldn't have to change who you are when you are in a relationship... but being aware of your differences and making efforts to compensate for those differences is part of the compromise of being in a relationship. If you love someone and want them to be happy, you will make efforts to show love in the way THEY best receive it. And vice versa.
2007-10-31 06:55:19 · answer #1 · answered by Sarah 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know, any successful relationship has it's ups and downs. Sometimes, you give more than you take and vice-versa. The goal is to be giving more than you take and hopefully if you can overlook your partners inability to give at certain times, they'll eventually come back around. If you were having a bad period and didn't have as much energy to go above and beyond, how would you want your partner to respond? That's how you should respond.
Check out the Five Languages of Love by Gary Chapman. He talks about the different ways we show love and why sometimes when our partner isn't giving it the way we recognize it the best, we feel our needs aren't being met. This leads us to not doing what we should do and eventually neither party is giving what the other needs.
One of the love languages in the book is "receiving gifts". These can be monetary gifts or gifts of time and attention, etc. If your partner "speaks" this language, she will feel most loved when you give her gifts. If you love this person, you should try to do that for her. Hopefully, it won't take too long before she's getting what she needs and in turn, is feeling more loved and connected to you which will make her want to show her love the way you want to see it (through sex).
TALK TO HER. Find out what she wants/needs to feel loved. Make an attempt to show her that. If she's genuinely interested in making your relationship work, she'll care about what you need. Hopefully, you don't need more than she's able to give once she's feeling loved by you.
Good luck.
2007-10-31 14:48:57 · answer #2 · answered by Holly 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ideally, you would end up with a person who has a way of giving and receiving love that is similar to your own.
But if this is not the case, then I think there should be a little bit of both. On the one hand, there should be an understanding that the two of you have different ways of expressing yourselves, and accepting that person A will probably not get as many flowers as they would like, and a person B will probably not get as much sex as they would like. But there has to be at least SOME effort on the part of both people to express themselves in a language that their partner prefers.
I think, there is a tendency to get complacent with time, and if certain expressions of love were forced to begin with, it would be hard to maintain the same level of effort over a long period. For me personally, compatibility in the way me and my partner express our feelings is of paramount importance in a relationship.
2007-10-31 14:58:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think love should be expressed the way you want to and you should try to express it the way your mate wants too! That's why it is called love! Love covers all things big and small, love goes the extra mile..love is more than just sex...sex is 1 of the many expressions of love...
2007-10-31 14:51:07 · answer #4 · answered by only1sol2000 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Many people love the wrong way.
People give love the way they think they should give love. But really they should give love in the way that the other person needs it. If lets say, a certain woman is Romantic - then do things that resemble romance for her. Fulfilling the other person needs with the love that is needed is loving the right way.
The greatest way to love someone, is right here: Corinthians 1: 1-13. This is the true way to love another person.
http://www.interviewwithgod.com/lovemovie/
2007-10-31 13:34:20 · answer #5 · answered by Samantha 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Have person A put flowers all over the bed and have sex with B. It will make B appreciate flowers all the more
2007-10-31 13:32:09 · answer #6 · answered by Wakatah 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
if my partner wanted to show all his love w/ sex, woohoo! it's cheaper than flowers, lol =) so of course you can get it alot more often than flowers, lol! I suppose if you want flowers all the time, you should grow some, lol... =) or perhaps pick some for free from a field for your loved one! =)
2007-10-31 14:47:04 · answer #7 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
well.. I think I should choose the person accept love in the way of their partner wants to give.. that's me...lol
2007-10-31 13:56:49 · answer #8 · answered by back2future 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's all about compromise!! You both have to be willing to give what the other wants in order to receive!!
2007-10-31 15:07:40 · answer #9 · answered by Sandy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have more sex with more flowers.
2007-10-31 13:35:37 · answer #10 · answered by Jennifer G 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋