What would you say to or think about a woman who KNOWS he husband has been having an affair, knows he has been cheating on her since she was pregnant and only ended the affair after a few years when the mistress ended things? And she also knows he has had other flings before and after and stays with this man? Any words or advice for her? There is a child involved. What would you think of this woman? Do you believe the husband loves her since he always comes back to her?
2007-10-31 06:14:58 · 50 answers · asked by lookinfortruth 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She has Low Self-Esteem.
2007-10-31 06:17:23 · answer #1 · answered by nwnativeprincess 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would think that she knows the importance of honoring the vows of marriage, whereas her husband obviously doesn't. He knows he can get away with it so he will keep doing it as long as he thinks that. She needs to do the hard thing and separate from him for a while and let him know that this won't be allowed to continue. She SHOULD have done that the first time he did it so he wouldn't have made a habit of it, but now it will be a bit harder. It's always much more complicated when a child is involved, and she needs to make sure he understands that the main reason she's put up with it for so long is for the child's sake. But he started the cheating while she was pregnant...? That is the lowest of the low. She's a saint for sticking with the man for so long, but that crap has got to end. Maybe she should let him on to think that she is having an affair as well. I'm not advocating that someone cheat on their spouse, but if she can make him see the other side of it then he might just wake up and realize what he's doing to her.
2007-10-31 06:22:49 · answer #2 · answered by Jack Straw 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, going on what you've said. Firstly, if she's staying in the relationship because of their child, its very noble of her.
But in my honest opinion, she's a fool. I really don't want to sound nasty or cruel, but she is. She's being treated like crap. The husband has no consideration for anyone else. She should start thinking of ways to get away, both her and the child and make sure the husband pays child maintenance. It's not gonna get any better, until he grows old and no other women wants him. Until then he's gonna keep doing it. Why not too? After all she's still with him now when she already knows he's had an affair.
If the husband loves her so much, why would he sleep with anyone else? Would he like it if she slept with other men?
I hope it all works out for her.
2007-10-31 06:40:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would look down on the woman. I would view her as being a weak individual with very low self esteem and zero self respect. I would be concerned for the child, as he/she is growing up in an environment where this behaviour is accepted... This is not love at all, and the poor child will be so messed up, continuing on with this vicious cycle.
Advice: If he truly loved her, he would never cheat on her. Life can be so much better than what she is allowing. Someone out there will love both you and the child far better than this man can. You need to start loving yourself and the child and get out. The child is better off in a healthy environment where he/she is shown that self-respect and love rise above all evils. No matter how difficult this may seem, in the end the only regret you will have is not getting out sooner! Things will not change with this man, you have already shown him that his actions are okay and that it's okay to walk all over you and that no matter what he does, you'll always take him back out of weakness. Get tough, find support from friends, family, groups, etc. and move on with your life.
2007-10-31 06:35:28 · answer #4 · answered by Betty 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This seems to work both ways with men and women. No, I don't believe the husband loves her. The relationship is merely routine and people tend to be afraid to deviate from their long term routines. If you know he's having an affair, end it. It'll hurt like hell at first, but it's better than the reoccuring pain she'll have to endure when he does it again. And he will, once he knows that she'll deal with it. Sever ties, well, all but the child, and look for something new. The current relationship, as she once knew it, is no longer exsistant. Things have changed and it's time to move on.
2007-10-31 06:22:32 · answer #5 · answered by Vespr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would wonder why she stays w/ him... perhaps she thinks she can change him... hmmm... I know why he stays w/ her, so he don't have to pay child support and alimony... maybe you could tell her this, and maybe she will finally leave him, hmmm... no, don't believe he loves her... he comes back because she lets him... I would tell her he could have aids by now... or HPV! this causes cancer in woman in most cases! basically, her child is learning to 1. put up w/ a man like this, or, 2. to be just like this man =(... boy, this is just sad, especially since there is a kid involved... me being me and been cheated on before, have had enough... If I was this woman, I would have left this man a long time ago... the only advice you can give her now is this... "either dump the man or don't talk to me about him anymore"... and that's the truth! I worked w/ a guy who cheated on me, and one day, everyone came in the room and told me this..."either dump him, or don't talk about him anymore to us" and they were right! so, I dumped him!
2007-10-31 06:22:25 · answer #6 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry but I don't agree with women taking their husbands back after an affair. Once they do it once its easier to do it again! Love isn't like that. To love someone you have to respect them and when they cheat them they are not respecting the person they love. I believe that when women take the men back they begin to have self esteem issues. They start to get jealous and insecure. They will constantly wonder and worry if he is doing it again. She won't be able to believe a thing that he says. Why put yourself through this? Why allow a man to treat you this way? I did this and it drove me absolutely crazy! I learned that I deserve better! So I vowed never to allow a man to hurt me like that again. Never have again and never will. I have a wonderful husband who loves me very much and would never think of hurting me that way. There are good guys out there who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated!!
2007-10-31 06:23:09 · answer #7 · answered by faith 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Noas this is really a relationship going nowhere, why would he keep cheating returning is an insult, and the woman in his eyes is probably seen as insurance someone he can always go back to when things go pearshpe. if the woman accepts him this is allowing the man to think he has control, he will be able to wrap the woman around his finger, pretend he loves her, probably beat her up, abuse her but claims to love her so the women is then in a predicament as she is being beaten and abused and feels that she is still loved and finds it harder to leave him, and when she finally goes to leave thats when things can turn real nasty. (worst case scenorio, murder) relationshipos like this are best out of as soon as possible and whilst there are still strong social connections before the man breaks these
2007-10-31 06:21:27 · answer #8 · answered by wierd and wounderful world of me 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im gonna assume this woman is you, but regardless, i think the husband may still love her but thats not why he comes back, he comes back cause he know he can, he knows you or she will take him back, this is his safe place to go when the other woman dont work out. I think this woman is scared to say no, i dont want you anymore, she is very insecure about herself and she needs to realize she is worth more and deserves better. This husband, this piece of ***, isnt IN love with the woman anymore, had he really truly loved her in the beginning, this woman would not be going through this now. She needs to move on with her child so she can start to be happy, truly happy.
2007-10-31 06:21:34 · answer #9 · answered by louie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After having my now ex husband cheat on me and surprising myself by wanting to try and work things out - I do not judge women (or men) in these situations. You never truly know how they feel unless you walk in their shoes. Having said that...she deserves better. Hopefully she will come to see that soon. She may be staying for the child, she may be financially stable enough to go it on her own, she may believe she will never find another person. Who knows. Just be there for her and when she realizes this guy is not the best she can do - help her get through it.
2007-10-31 06:22:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What I personally think of a woman who stays with a man like this doesn't really matter.
What she thinks of herself and her child is what really important. Boosting her self - esteem alone will help her make the right decision.
You could also look up answers to resolved questions, I have answered several there resulting in best answers.
2007-10-31 06:42:37 · answer #11 · answered by femalepit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋