I had this friend named mel and she always told me that my other friend cloe (who has a 5 month old) takes really bad care of her child. That her baby named julia is losing a lot of weight and she can't even hold her head up and that cloe barely bathes her. Well i went to mels house one day and she was crying saying I can't believe how sick julia looks she looks like she has a dieses. well being scared and having a 3 month old myself I did what was best and called the police to tell them that there was a sick baby and I think it has to do with neglect. Now I didn't do this to have the baby taken away I just wanted to make sure that she was ok. So I gave my name becuse they said that they wanted it and I told them that I do want it anonymous though. The cop went over there to see how the baby was doing and said that she looked fine. Also he gave out my name which I told them not to. Now she wont talk to me even though I apologized wouldnt you do the same thing cause you were worried?
2007-10-31 05:49:57 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You have had a hard lesson it is this:
'Never listen to secondhand information find out the truth for yourself.'
I am sorry you had this happen. You thought it was the right thing to do.
Try again to see her and make it up and say you were stupid to listen to other peoples tales and you feel very very sorry and should have realised it wasn't true but when your other friend was crying you became emotionally upset and thought it was true. (your other friend needs a good talking to telling tales like that)
2007-10-31 05:59:33 · answer #1 · answered by Sally Anne 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you should tell you friend Cloe that your friend Mel told you that she was worried about Julia and said she didn't look very healthy. Say that you and Mel were just worried that maybe you couldn't cope with looking after a baby, and you just had Cloe's and the baby's interest at her. Tell her that you were obviously mistaken, but if she ever needs any help to ask you, and let her know that you will be there for her. If she's a good mum then she will understand that you were just worried and wanted to help her out. Also, I'd talk to Mel to see why she thought Julia was in bad condition.
Hope I good help, good luck!
2007-10-31 12:56:09 · answer #2 · answered by xPurplexFairyx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You made a mistake because you took Mel's word that Cloe was not doing a good job of parenting without visiting and forming your own opinion first. You made another mistake by reporting what amounted to hearsay or rumor to the police. I think it is horrible that they gave your name to the "accused" and may even be illegal but I am not sure of that. The only solution I can offer is to write or somehow contact Cloe and tell her you feel horrible and you took someone else's word without checking like an idiot. You know you were wrong and you are sorry. I wouldn't mention Mel as it serves no purpose but I would also tell Mel that she should have done what you did and kept it to herself otherwise and to please refrain from telling you horror stories about other people because you are unsure what to do about them anyway. You may never again be friends with Cloe but it might clear your conscience and maybe Cloe will realize you were trying to help her baby no matter how misguided your method may have been. Good luck!
2007-10-31 13:09:05 · answer #3 · answered by Robert P 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she was crying about it then she obviously cares. I would have talked her into taking the baby to the hospital and told her that I was really worried about the baby.
I think what you should do is right her a letter telling her how much you care about her and her baby and explain that you weren't trying to have her baby taken care of, but that you were trying to get help for them. Be as kind as you can and then just wait. She is angry with you and she has a right to be, you need to just give her space and hope that she comes around.
A similar type situation happened to me. My best friend's boyfriend has been beating her for years and she won't do anything about it. Well, he sent her a bunch of threatening emails which were quite bad. Then he ended up hitting her again and the police were involved. My friend though wouldn't cooperate with the police. I ended up forwarding the emails to the police myself. She was extremely angry with me when she found out and called and yelled at me. I explained to her how much I cared and that I couldn't live with myself if anything happened to her and I had done nothing. I told her that I understood why she was angry, but that I hoped in time she could understand why I had to.
2007-10-31 13:06:59 · answer #4 · answered by Celtic-Candy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I would have done the same thing in your shoes. But you also have to understand your friend's feelings. She probably isn't going to want to have anything to do with you. At least not for a long time. Is it possible that Mel was exaggerating? If so, maybe you should try to explain that to Cloe. Tell Cloe that you are angry with Mel for scaring you.
2007-10-31 12:59:56 · answer #5 · answered by SunnyMoon 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well first of all I would have actually gone around Cloe's house to check if the baby was doing fine before calling the police.
2007-10-31 12:52:48 · answer #6 · answered by don't stop the music ♪ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you listened to someone badmouthing your friend if you were genuinely worried you could have called social services in confidence. And if the police found no fault with baby then you were definitely looking for it cause of what your friend said. Sorry but your gonna have to give chloe some time maybe one day she will forgive you, and stop listening to mel some people can be malicous and say things cause they are jealous.
2007-10-31 12:56:18 · answer #7 · answered by annie5 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My approach would've definitely been different. You should've confronted her about it. It's too late to procrastinate on what you should've or shouldn't have done, so there's nothing you can do at this point. Chances are she's going to go around and tell all your mutual friends what you did and they will most likely side with her and ditch you. So if you don't want this to happen, tell all your mutual friends what happened from beginning to end, so they don't ditch you. If you want to explain your position to her, write her a letter and mail it to. That will probably be the only to express yourself. And for the future you don't call the police, you call DYFS.
2007-10-31 12:57:04 · answer #8 · answered by Rica 82 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, and I almost did. My boyfriend told some pregnant 18 yr. old that we could put her up for one night. One night turned into many and I had to babysit her because he was always at work. She was so immature in every possible way and she was driving me crazy with how terrible she was to her unborn child. She would tell me things like she smoked, took e, and ran into a car while on drugs during her pregnancy! She was out of her mind. I kicked her out and threatened to call the cops.
2007-10-31 12:55:09 · answer #9 · answered by ameeker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
of course I would
if a childs life is at risk every procausion must be taken. You did the right thing and hopefully in time ur friend will realize this.
In the mean time try to have someone covince her to take the baby to have regular check ups with a pediatrician. and maybe a friends of hers will be willing to check in every once in a while to make sure the baby is healthy
2007-10-31 12:55:26 · answer #10 · answered by PerfectLoser94 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋