Its been over a month since I found out that my significant other had a one night stand with one of MY acquaintances he had just met at a function he attended with me. This mutual acquaintance came with a reputation of being easy. Anyway, Im still seething and angry. He has apologized and tried calling several times. I just cant seem to let it go, and the more I think about it the angrier I get. Am i taking this way too hard or personal? Should I just get over it or do I have a right to hold a grudge?
2007-10-31 05:47:25 · 40 answers · asked by lookinfortruth 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you have every right to hold a grudge, if you forgive and forget too easily.. then they think "it's okay" even if they know it's wrong, they know they can get away with it. You have to think to yourself if you can ever trust him again. Everytime he goes out are you going to sit there and think "is he cheating on me, wheres he going, whos he going out with" than you should just walk away, but if you're willing to put 100% trust back into him (which is nearly impossible) than it's not worth it. Not having trust ruins a relationship.. hope to help
2007-10-31 05:52:01 · answer #1 · answered by tina p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay I am not an expert but..A one night stand WILL turn into a 2 night and then a three u understand where I am going with that...I am a 42 yr old male..Benn divorced once and getting ready to do it again...First I cheated on my first wife after fifteen years of marriage....I know I know Bastard Yes in a sence....On the other hand I was abused verbally physically and mentally for that time...I didn't know how to get out of it because of the kids....Well **** that kids or not Iregret the cheating but I don't regret the divorce..Now the second one is doing the same crap as the first...I will not cheat on here I am just gonna end it no kids...U have to remember every action has a reaction...U will always be questioned as to what if....Do i forgive him will he do it again and stuff like that..My answer which is my opinion would be to dump him and press on with life...Life is to short to have ******* drama in it....2 many people in todays world strive on it and it kills me to see people walking aimlessly through the world waisting time cause u never now when the good lord is calling....Hope it helps...
2007-10-31 05:58:17 · answer #2 · answered by batmangrp 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not hold a grudge, that will only hurt you in the long run. But if you don't think that you will ever be able to mend the fence and rebuild the trust that was broken you should probably move on and out of the relatioship. I am sorry that this happened to you. I have never cheated or been cheated on so I can only imagine what you are feeling and I think you have every right to feel that way.
I hope things get better for you.
2007-10-31 05:58:25 · answer #3 · answered by Sasi 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you have already made your decision. You just need to understand why you made it.
There is one thing that we all take for granted and that is forgiveness.
I am sure in one form or another, that it would be nice to be on the receiving side once in a while cause we all do make mistakes.
It all comes down to if you love him and want to be with him.
If you do want to be with him, be with him and forgive him cause you would want the same if roles were switched.
You will never forget, but if you can get over this betrayal together, it will build a stronger relationship and more intimacy which is always a plus.
The bigger hurdles you both cross will only help both of you to get over the larger hurdles in life.
You also need time for everything to marinate as things are still fresh in your mind. Dont play games with him, which most girls do.
Communication is key and if he is supposed to be your man, than he will help guide you through your bad time.
If one person cant be around for the "bad times", then they dont deserve to be around for the "good time".
Also, the term, "Once a cheater, always a cheater" is a stereotype and a cop out. People have the ability to change and adapt to situations. Its really up to oneself to make the commitment to change for the better. People do it all the time.
Good luck.
2007-10-31 06:21:49 · answer #4 · answered by Tung 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You definitely have a right to be angry. Someone who loves you should never cheat on you. Would you do something to hurt the one you love? My guess is no. Although it will be hard, let him go. Maybe you can forgive him eventually but you know that if you get back together, things will never be the same because it will always be in the back of your mind. You will forever be suspicious and will never want him going anywhere without you. A relationship needs trust or neither of you will be happy. That is no way to live. You can get through this. You will meet someone new and fall in love and be completely happy! Good Luck!
2007-10-31 06:03:09 · answer #5 · answered by LSSP 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Holding a "grudge" hurts no one but you -- do you really think that the "easy" girl knows or cares if you are angry or not?
But you do have a legitimate issue here; your "significant other" has shown that he is not trustworthy. This is not about whether it is OK to hold a grudge or throw childish temper tantrums, this is about whether it is wise or not for you to continue to be involved with a dishonest, untrustworthy person.
Only you can make that call, but I don't think that I would keep him if I were you.
2007-10-31 05:54:31 · answer #6 · answered by Randy G 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey he/she lost your trust and may never gain it back. But ask your self.....do you love him? because if after this you don't love him don't fake that it can work out. Just end it now and stop wasting your time. If you find that you do love him then time will heal but once a cheater always a cheater and you will always wonder if he's being faithful or not. One more thing, he might of just had sex with that other person but he makes love to you every night girl, and he is still with you so you must of done something real good to him.
2007-10-31 05:54:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question you must ask yourself is, are you upset about the act of sex with someone else or that you have lost trust. When you figure out what your really upset about then you can make a decision of what to do. Of course it is both now but what really upsets you? With that said if you get madder everytime you think about it you will not trust that peson again, so the best option may be to move on.
2007-10-31 06:09:39 · answer #8 · answered by hitme1012000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, you definitely have a right. I got cheated on years ago by an ex and I was sore about it for a long time, especially since I was always good to her. But remember that everything happens for a reason, and that fate has chosen a different path for you. It all works out in the end!
2007-10-31 05:51:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well you obviously don't mean a whole lot to him if he can cheat on you..... and who's to say he won't do it again? Wouldn't you rather be with someone who loves you too much to ever even consider cheating? I would personally not be dating this scum after finding out he cheated - no matter what the circumstances were.... I can't believe you would still be with someone like this - good luck on getting any respect from this man!
2007-10-31 05:59:53 · answer #10 · answered by Betty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋