My marriage failed because my husband accused me of having an affair with my colleague.B4 this,our marriage have been on the rock.We both did mistakes and being busy with our own work,we tend to neglect each other.We slowly moved on with our life.I only get to see my kid 3 times a week.It hurts me when I can't get to be with my kid everyday.So i decide to give a 2nd chance to our marriage.But my ex husband is too ego.He keeps saying I was the one to mess up the marriage.Just Imagine,he abuses me,I paid for his hp bills and the mthly car instalment,he ever had an affair behind me.But when I ask him to give some tots for our kid's future and give our marriage a 2nd chance,he refused.what can I do when I am so prepared to compromise things with him but he is too ego?
2007-10-31 04:56:13 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i'm sorry for your situation but re marrying this man is not a positive step. it seems you two just don't work together. maybe you could move closer to him were it would be super easy to see your children more often. if you don't hate eachother it shouldn't be a problem for him. i hope everything works out for you.
2007-10-31 05:01:08 · answer #1 · answered by .. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is not ready to give the marriage a second chance there is not much you can do but to rebuild your life without him. Try to meet new people and you will find someone else but don't be in such a rush that you settle for someone too fast and make a second mistake in marriage. At the same time, keep an eye on what he is doing and the time may come if you have a second marriage that you may be able to get custody if he gets into a relationship and has an affair behind someone else's back or is abusive to the kids or a new spouse. He sounds immature so you may also find that once you start to move on with someone else he will decide to try to save the marriage then. It is better for the children to have two parents who love them and are apart than to see two parents who fight all the time. You don't say how old the child is but if you get into a stable relationship the child may decide he or she wants to live with you instead of him when the child gets to the age that the court lets him or her make a choice and he will be the loser. Good Luck to you!!
2007-10-31 12:18:42 · answer #2 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many people try to stay in a marriage that is unhealthy and unhappy because of their kids...this usually works for a while, but what happens as they children get older, they begin to see that the marriage is loveless and this is not the image or marriage we want for our children as many many times this leads to unfaithfulness and even abuse. Do you really want your kids to see you miserable. It would be doing your kids a disjustice. The better thing for them would be to make sure they see you happy! Make the most of the time you do see them...and if you live close enough try to talk to your ex about the possibility of picking them up from school or daycare everyday to at least a few minutes with them before you have to take them home. If your ex's heart is not into it, the marriage won't work a second time either!
2007-10-31 12:18:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing I will caution you on is that it seems you are attempting to do this for the wrong reasons. I know you love your kids and you want to be with them 24/7, but if you aren't into the marriage for yourself then you won't give it your best shot. Just take time. Relax and be introspective. Find out more about what you want in your life, and when you come to terms with that then go out and get it. All you can do is relish whatever time you have for your kids and maybe fight to have more time with them. Other than that, only get into a relationship/marriage for yourself. At some point you have to be selfish and get what you want before you can think of compromising any to accomodate. Good luck.
2007-10-31 12:02:52 · answer #4 · answered by No one 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your marriage is a personal relationship between you and your man. That part of your life has nothing to do with being a fantastic parents. You will not accomplish anything, you will not make it better because you are using your kids as an exuse to ingore a bad situation. Infact you will probably do more damage to the kids by allowing them to see mom and dad fight all the time. Better to break it off, keep the peace and put your kids first in your life and your divorced husband...
Its not for your kids.. You just don't want to let go and are making excuses!!
2007-10-31 12:11:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to ask yourself why. It sounds as if every reason that you want to get back together is selfishness--I don't get to see the kids, I paid for this and that...I deserve... You need to look at what is best for the kids. How do you show your love to them? To your ex? Love isn't something you have, it is something you give. If you say you love him don't expect him to believe you until you show it--same for the kids. Time is everything. Spend time with and for--not money and presents--but your presence. What can you do to show love to your kids and ex? There must be evidence of love and repentance--otherwise there will never be any trust. Don't blame his ego and don't argue. It takes two to argue. Chose to listen and keep your mouth shut--shed a tear--it is not all about you. You will be happy when you try your best to make others happy.
2007-10-31 12:07:54 · answer #6 · answered by Daniel K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like it's just over for him. If he doesn't want to try again, even for the sake of the kids, there really isn't anything you can do. Better to move on and find someone who will treat you right and make a new life for yourself.
2007-10-31 12:01:32 · answer #7 · answered by makeloans2 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really do not think this will not work out to be back together, I heard all of this before and I'm happy to be on my own.
2007-10-31 12:05:32 · answer #8 · answered by kim t 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it did not work the first time, it will not work a second or third. Find your happiness elsewhere.
2007-10-31 14:00:50 · answer #9 · answered by Michelle M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋