How many feminists here would take their husband's last name?

Question

Taking the man's name in marriage is an American tradition similar to shaving the legs; it dies hard, and I understand why. But, don't feminists believe in maintaining identity, in equality? If a man would never in a million years take your name, why would you take his? Where do most women stand on this?

Answer 1

No, never. If I would get married I wouldn't take my husband's last name. Why should a man's name be more important than a woman's name?

Answer 2

I discouraged my wife to take my last name, because I do not like mine. I look WASP but have a long funny last name because I'm half east-indian. I wouldn't take my wife's last name, but would take my mother's maiden name.

I kinda agree with Guns_Fan. We should define what feminist means. Most women consider themselves feminists. But if we looked at participation in womens rights organizations, I think you'd notice some issues there. My ex-wife used to work for one such group, and kept complaining about the office politics of being the only straight woman there.

Also if you look at places like even Quebec, Canada which uses a french civil law system, the women do not take the husbands last name and have not done so for hundreds of years and the practice has been to hyphenate for years.

Answer 3

I changed mine in 1967 but refused to change it back after the divorce in 1984. Now I don't know my name is mine for 40 years and changing it would be a pain. I might do it after retirement but then getting SS in my new name might get messed up. Since college, career and professional licenses are in this name I wouldn't change right now unless he was whining really bad.
For some one young who might have children and doesn't have professional licenses yet a name change is reasonable.
Being feminist has nothing to do with it my ex was a feminist and he didn't change his name.

Answer 4

I took his last name, because I like the sound of it better than my own. Unless she chooses an entirely new made up name, she's subject to a partilineal last name.

Edit: True, better to honor your own father with your last name, then to honor his. It's a personal choice. I wasn't crazy about my maiden name, so I had no problem with the change. I used to think of changing it long before I was married.

I also agree with having the same last name for the sake of family cohesion, but for that matter he could take yours or you could pick a new name. I knew a couple who combined the letters in their last names to form a new name.

Answer 5

I probably wouldn't change it legally. I have my degrees under my name and have published under my name. But I wouldn't make a big issue out if it at some social event if some called me Mrs. Husband. I don't think it's a big enough deal that I go about explaining my choice every time someone were to make that mistake.

Answer 6

I would take my husbands last name. It's not only part of a tradition, but it binds the family togethor and makes it much easier on the kids.

But you can bet that one of my daughters will be getting my maiden name as a middle name (it's a Southern tradition)

Answer 7

I might take it when/if I get married, I might not. I'm undecided. I think I'd be willing to take his name if I felt he'd be willing to do the same for me. I have many brothers, I'm sure the name won't die out, so that's not a concern. I think it's just something personal that will have to be worked out between me and the guy.

Answer 8

To be very honest, I like the sound of my last name. It looks like "breeze" and is often mis-pronounced like that. I would prefer something cool and unique like than that a Smith any day.

At the same time that side of my family are a bunch of drunken slobs. Losing it would be no big deal unless his last name with something funny like "Hancock". (yes, that is a last name, look up Hancock fabrics).

Where I stand is more than likely going to take his last name and go under a more feminist "Ms" instead of "Mrs".

Answer 9

I kept my maiden name as a middle name, and dropped my birth-given middle name. I want the same last name as my children, but I also didn't want to give up who I was my entire life. I think my current name defines who I am.

Answer 10

I took my husband's last name but only because we have a daughter and I wanted us to be a family. It's a little odd and confusing for a kid to have a family with two last names.