So much has been said between my boyfriend and I. We have been together for seven years and there was ALWAYS a trust issue. He treats me like I am this horrible person who goes out and cheats all the time. We've been fighting for almost a year now and I can't take it anymore! We have three kids together and I don't want them to suffer but " I'm sorry "can no longer mask the scars that I have. (mental and emotional of course) People who knew me before him tell me that I am a different person now.. that I almost seem like a shell of who I was. I don't know what to do. Is it worth leaving and trying to find someone out there who will trust me around my guy friends or do I stick it out for the kids and just hope that he will change.
2007-10-31 04:42:22 · 26 answers · asked by lissa034715 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Based on what you told me - I'm sure there's LOTS more - I'd say you two should get some counseling first. Try to heal the relationship before you end it. Sure, he needs to change - maybe he needs a nudge.
BTW, I've read WAAAY longer questions on here.
2007-10-31 04:47:26 · answer #1 · answered by Don 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to try counseling if you want to save the relationship but if you have the guy friends and he isn't involved in that group of friends, I can see where he may be concerned, yet that doesn't excuse his abuse. try the counseling and see if things get better and if not, then leave. Seven years is a long time to give up so counseling would be a good idea whether you stay together or not. you may be excluding him from your guy friends without realizing how that makes him feel and that would show perhaps a lack of commitment to him, would make him perhaps not trust you around them, and would be the sign of a bad relationship if you need guy friends while you have a boy friend as well. Good Luck to you whatever you do.
2007-10-31 05:04:26 · answer #2 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea, it's worth it to leave now. You're pretty much telling your kids this is OK by sticking around. Do you want your kids to think it's OK and end up either being abused or abusing someone else? You're a role model for your children. Show them the right way. Aside from your kids though, YOU deserve better. There's someone else out there for you who will love you and your children.
2007-10-31 04:54:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never stay because of the kids, its just an excuse for you to stay. I have been there did that for 10 yrs, trust me your kids will be better off out of that situation. They will not be happy until you are and you wont be until you leave and get on with your life, I am so much happier just me and my kids and we actually get along alot better.
2007-10-31 04:52:27 · answer #4 · answered by bradosmom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People like your really get to my core....
whining about your relationships with your mate because of your "guy friends",
Well first and for most sweetie, "GROW UP", your responsibilities changed when you had your first child!
That means no more party's with the 'guy's',... get real!
your boyfriend has a legitimate reason for his questions!
Have you no scruples...No wait! you just stated that you did not! So,.... "Get some!"
Be an responsible adult not only to your children but also to your boyfriend!
The real question is why he stayed with you!!
2007-10-31 05:00:52 · answer #5 · answered by BlackWidow 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
hey mother of 3 !!!! how about cooling it with the guy friends and spending your evenings at home with your family!!! and if they are work friends, how about cooling whatever it is that sets your guy off? you know, the father of those 3 children? how about respecting your husband and not fighting with him, especially in front of your innocent children? did you know that fighting in front of them sets off chemical reactions in their young bodies that is like poison to them and can cause them mental distress? how about trying to get along with your husband so you dont do that to them? how about living your life with a spirit of compromise and a little dignity. in front of the 3 children, you see. how about asking him directly what can i do to make you feel better about this? how about telling him that gee we have 3 kids together and i am going to take your needs into consideration and so we can all be calmer? how about being the better person and doing what it takes to make a peaceful happy home for your 3 !!!! children? what should you do? why dont you just calm down and take care of your familyy??? why dont you involve yourself in activities for the family and for the children, dancing lessons, sports, so you and your husband together can meet other couples and maybe even other families? do this so you dont hurt your children. because from what you wrote, it sounds like you are out with your guy friends. when you could be spending that energy on your own family with 3 !!!!! children. and i am sure you will respond in some furious way to this that your guy you could not even be bothered to marry ( nice example for the 3 !!!! kkids) is really some sort of monster, but, i think you got it right the first time, and i know your kids would be happier, if you took it upon yourself to be the one to change.
2007-10-31 05:32:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
in all honesty...i was that guy, and i ruined my past relationship because i couldnt trust her. I found out that i am very insecure and have very low self esteem. Trust me, he does not enjoy doing this...it makes him miserable always thinking your doing something behind his back. Im sure he loves you but it is close to impossible for him to stop being like that. I suggest he seek counseling immediately because he has definitely got some insecurities. I say stick it out because he really does love you, he just needs help.
2007-10-31 04:57:40 · answer #7 · answered by Jon 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't listen to other people (so called friends) misery loves company you know, Talk with your man tell him if he doesn't get help with his problem you and the kids are leaving for good or better yet tell him you're leaving and not coming back until he gets help.. O
2007-10-31 04:58:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been living with this man for seven years and he hasn't asked you to marry him. He does have trust issues. Leave him and take your children with you. If you find yourself in need of a relationship with a man, find one who will want to marry you.
2007-10-31 04:55:18 · answer #9 · answered by reg 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you both have 3 children but you need to sit down and talk to him and file a separation....tell him .....that will give you time to think and time for him to think....if he wants to go back give him your rules....leave him..its more damaging to the kids to stay in a relationship like that..life goes on.It did for me and now GOD blessed me with the most wonderful man that ever was .
2007-10-31 04:48:14 · answer #10 · answered by melisha s 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋