I live in Texas right now but am contemplating moving back to my home town in California. We have a one year old son. How would the laws work in order for me to move comfortably to California without it being considered "kidnapping" if my ex decides to DISAGREE on me moving and taking our son???
2007-10-31 04:37:29 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
*note* He did hit me and has been verbally abusive to me for a while. He claimed he would change and I do have a small bruise on my arm from where he grabbed me too hard and threw me. I will def. seek legal help even though we are NOT legally married and NEVER we're. Better to be safe than sorry and I don't want to lose my son. I am a manager at a hotel so I KNOW that I can support my son. Thank you all
2007-10-31 04:58:00 · update #1
Talk to a lawyer before you move anywhere that way you will no what your options are, also you need to take out an order for child support for your baby, even if you don't want the money from him, remember it is for the baby not you, he cannot contest child support if he is working so please talk to a lawyer and make sure you get child support for your baby as well. And please don't feel that because you are a single mom that you cannot make it, you can make I was a single mom and raised two they are now adults and they work for the government, both making six figures, God Bless you and please keep me posted.
2007-10-31 04:47:31 · answer #1 · answered by pookster4262 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Until such time as the court awards custody an unmarried woman with a child who is the product of an unmarried union has exclusive legal custody of the child.
The alleged father has only what are called 'assertive' rights. That means that he must ASSERT he is the father in a petition to establish paternity, custody, support and/or visitation before he can receive legal rights.
In your scenario, because there is no legal father, you are free to move anywhere you deem right. Although you will not be able to file for support until such time as you establish legal residency in California, (you must live in Calif. for 6 months), he could also file for paternity/custody in Texas as home rule would consider Texas has jurisdiction until you establish California residency.
2007-10-31 11:46:53 · answer #2 · answered by hexeliebe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, unless you're doing it for personal safety reasons (like if your boyfriend represents physical or emotional danger to you and your son if you stay near him), you can't just up and move and expect to keep the same legal terms. You would need to work out some kind of deal that would allow whatever continued visitation rights he has. That might include reducing his support payments so he could use the extra funds to travel to see the child. Another option is to have your son live with you part of the year and with him another part of the year, again deducting or adding reasonable travel costs for each of you.
The best thing you can do is consult a family mediator to see if you can work out equitable terms. If not, you'll have to visit custody court.
2007-10-31 11:46:21 · answer #3 · answered by Vangorn2000 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think moving to Calif should be a problem but I do advise having court papers drawn up showing that you have discussed this with your ex & what you've both agreed on. Even if he is in total agreement with your move, it always pays to have it in writing. You can go to family court in your area & they can probably assign a legal asst to draw up the papers for you. Leaving with that will give you peace of mind for you & your child. You won't have to worry about your ex changing his mind on you somewhere down the line. I have experienced this same situation several years ago & was very glad I had papers drawn up first. Stay positive for yourself & your child through this whole situation & it will go well. Your in my thoughts . Best wishes for a smooth transition. God Bless You!
2007-10-31 12:41:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take to an Attorney before you do anything, sometimes they will give you free information over the phone. But it depends on the state, he is the father,so he does have rights. He could press charges that you kidnapped the child from him. I know it's hard raising a child as a single mom, but rememer he has to pay child support and it depends on your salary and his. I work in Child Support, so I know most of the laws. You need to fight for your rights, do not let him take advantage of you. Do you stay with him, just because he is the father of your baby. Your baby does not need to be raised in an environment.
2007-10-31 12:33:42 · answer #5 · answered by davidnicolewilson 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you need to talk to an attorney - legal aid will help if you can't afford one - because there will be several issues involved. First, you need to get custody of the child in order to move with him and there are the questions of child support and visitation. If you split up because he was abusive, then it will be a lot easier to be able to move but an attorney has to go over all of the options to see how you may be able to do this. Good Luck!
2007-10-31 11:51:30 · answer #6 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It depends on if he wants to take you to court. If he doesn't have custody when you move, then he can't keep you from moving.
However, I'm sure you are going to want him to pay child support and he is going to want to have visitation rights at least.
He will have to have access to his child for visitation. The cost for that to happen will be split between the two of you. If he gets a really good attorney, the cost may be solely on you since you are the one that left the state.
2007-10-31 11:43:00 · answer #7 · answered by nite_angelica 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need a lawyer involved on this one! If you wish to take your child out of state, you need a custody order which authorizes you to do so. Be prepared for a battle. Even if the baby's father doesn't protest now, it's best to have this before you move so that he can't decide a year down the road to say that you 'kidnapped' his child.
I hope you and the babies dad will work together to make sure your child is impacted by this as little as is possible. Try to remain friendly with eachother, don't say bad things about one another in front of your child, and try to work together as a team, as much as possible given the distance, on making sure this child feels that he is loved by both parents.
It's not an enviable situation, but as the daughter of divorced parents, I can tell you it means the world to the kids. Despite their shaky marriage, and ultimate divorce, my parents agreed to spend holidays like Christmas and Easter together - even after my father remarried. Even when living in different states, we travelled on holidays when possible so that we could be with both parents. Important events, like graduations, were always attended by both parents, who treat eachother civily, even though they don't really 'care' for eachother!
Good luck to you, and try to remember to always put your son's needs first!
2007-10-31 11:45:09 · answer #8 · answered by Snoopy 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
As far as the law is concerned.. i'm not sure. But you need to talk to your ex'boyfriend about the situation and come to an agreement. Think about whats best for the kid, he needs to be able to see both him mom and dad. Don't let any personal BS between you and the dad affect the child.
2007-10-31 11:42:53 · answer #9 · answered by Mrs. N™ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are not kidnapping, but he can ask for a court order for you to be able to leave the state.
now, talk this over like adults, no screaming, or insulting each other. ok, your relationship as a couple ended, now the parenting relationship will be there a long while, its time to get real and try to establish a good friendship at least for the sake of the baby.
2007-10-31 11:42:10 · answer #10 · answered by ♥Sonadora♥ 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋