I just dont get it. They want to ''move on with thier life'' and yet they keep expecting you to be there. What gives? Anyone else dealt with this? What did you do?
2007-10-31 04:32:32 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
People like that were aways insecure and don't really know what they want or looking for. Since you are apart and done with the relationship you need to shut the door on the ex and tell them to go cry on the new persons shoulder, because they are out of your life and you want to go on with your life.
2007-10-31 04:40:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know...this is so confusing and irritating! Our divorce is almost final...we've been separated (this last time) for 8 months and yet still my ex EXPECTS me to take care of things for him still even though he has moved on with the person he's been having an affair with for 2 years. In my relationship I've realized looking back (you know how hindsight is 20/20) that I ALLOWED him to become too dependent on me and that's not what a marriage should be like...appearantly he's finding out in his new relationship that she doesn't want to be his "mother" so then I have to hear "I need your help...I don't know how to do this....Can you do this for me? ....Call so and so and tell them this..etc." The bottom line is "they don't know what they've got 'til it's gone" and they realize that they took you for granted and didn't appreciate all that you did for them until they saw that MOST people wouldn't do what you did ...but we did it because we loved them!
I just tell him that it's time he learn some responsibility and that I've learned I should have made him do that as well. And hopefully he'll become more appreciative of what people do for him out of love this time instead of take them for granted!
2007-10-31 11:47:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that kind of people just don't like losing the attention they once received from the ex, so even tho they are moving on, they want you there to toot their horn whenever needed, it's called being selfish and needy I think.... Live your life, worry about you, the ex is an ex for a reason....
2007-10-31 11:39:16 · answer #3 · answered by melimel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The ex sounds like a taker. Quit doing for them, they'll quit asking.
I've dealt with this and the bottom line is, until you consciously choose to cut the ties, it will probably continue.
2007-10-31 11:36:42 · answer #4 · answered by katydid 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Depending on if you have children together...you either
1. stay in the game for your kids and help out their mother no matter what, and because you'll always love her even if she is a b word and left you
2. you don't help out at all and don't think twice about saying no..she left you..b word
2007-10-31 11:36:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take care of YOU, and expect other adults to take care of their own stuff.
Don't give in, feel guilty or responsible for your ex. The only person you are responsible for is yourself, and any children you may have.
2007-10-31 11:35:54 · answer #6 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its called friendship. If you don't want to be a nice person and help out someone then just say no. they will stop asking eventually.
2007-10-31 11:40:05 · answer #7 · answered by howie r 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
they want to keep you "around" in case it don't work out w/ the new fellow... basically, all you do is tell them no... and don't talk to them anymore... if you have kids, visit the kids only and such but don't fix her car, don't talk to her about the weather, just pick up the kids and drop them off... no nothing else... good luck =)
2007-10-31 11:47:12 · answer #8 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
im in a somewhat simular situation except my doesnt have anyone else anymore i dont think. he realizes what he lost and wants it back. he comes to me because he knows i will be there for him. i amhis safety net but u need to know when enough is enough and they are just using you.
2007-10-31 12:11:59 · answer #9 · answered by ♥ missing a soldier in Iraq ♥ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
After you have been apart awhile, it is easier to be friendly. If you are still in love with her, it is better for you not to see or talk to her unless you can't avoid it.
2007-10-31 11:40:27 · answer #10 · answered by Beth T 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋