me and my mum had a huge argument yest and i ended up saying something really hateful just to hurt her. she called me a b*tch and went to slap me but i moved out of the way. I later said i shouldnt have said it but i didnt actually appologise cos if she hadnt wounded me up so much i never would have said it. Now shes told me today she doesnt want to come to the big family christmas day dinner and wants to be by herself. ive told her fine and its no skin of my nose but it infuriates me that shes doing it to make a point and now ive got to make excuses as to why she wont be there!!!!!!!!
2007-10-31 04:12:25 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i guess my question is should i just leave it and on xm,as day feel guilty for her being alone or try and get her to change her mind nearer the time?
2007-10-31 04:15:49 · update #1
i would apologise for whatever you said give her a big hug and ask her to forgive you,now whether you actually mean all that doesnt matter.you know that you will feel guilty if she is on her own over xmas and that will spoil your xmas.
2007-10-31 04:41:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
So if you said something awful to your Mum, then you need to apologise. You have admitted that you deliberately hurt her feelings, now you must put it right.
Sure, your Mum is being stubborn by saying she's not coming to Christmas dinner, but bridges should be built. Be an adult here and make the first move.Mums can be very forgiving :o)
I lost my Mum this year and although we had a few moments over the years, we always ended up apologising if we argued. Life is too short and you never know how long your Mum is going to be with you.
If she still decides not to come to dinner, then don't be critical of her or make excuses for her.
But I'm sure you both will have sorted it all out before Christmas and will enjoy what should be family time together. Good luck :o)
2007-10-31 15:44:58 · answer #2 · answered by i_am_juicy_luicy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Actually you need to give it time for anger to simmer down and hurt feelings to fade a bit. After a few weeks you need to go back to your mother and apologize for what you said and explain you should not have said it. If you didn't mean it, you need to let her know. If you did mean it, then you need to say that you shouldn't have said it in the way that you did. Then you need to explain why you got so upset in the first place. Work together to find a better way to talk over your problems.
Tell your mother that you want her to be with your family for christmas. Even if she refuses to come, call her again a few weeks before and remind her that the invitation is still there.
If at that point she still doesn't want to come, then you could always say she wasn't feeling good and was unable to attend when people ask why and leave it at that as you did what you could.
2007-10-31 11:36:15 · answer #3 · answered by Elizabeth F 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just let the air between you cool for a bit. As you say, she is saying she won't come to make a point. You are the best person to judge when to try and make amends. We all fight and sometimes being stubborn can make things worse! (Trust me, I know, I am as stubborn as my fiance so you can imagine how our bickering turns out!) Just leave it for a few days, Christmas Day is still two months away so I am sure you can talk to her in the meantime and apologise for what you said. I am sure she will listen to you as soon as she has calmed down. Just leave her, then try and make amends. Maybe take some flowers round and say you are sorry. If she does not listen to you, then she is being very silly, we all say things to hurt each other in the heat of the moment and she must realise that you did not mean it.
2007-10-31 11:31:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Send her, her favorite flowers.
Write a card, tell her the truth.
Mum, Im sorry, i love you.
You are my best friend,
you picked me up when I fell,
you kissed my grazes to make me smile
You are the one person I will always depend on,
without you I wouldnt be me.
I know i take you for granted thinking your always be there
Its all due to the fact I know your always care
- i duno, pick your favorite memory and remind her of it.... she'll soon say she's sorry too.....
tell her christmas wouldnt be enjoyable with out your mum, she's always been there.
she brought you into the world, all she's ever done is try to keep you safe and happy...
she'll be there.... she is panicing jus as much you are.... i think a card would be nice..... or a photo of you both nicely framed of a great memory....
hope you work it out...... your mums the only friend inthe world you'll never lose forever!! you tell her everything.... and you can talk about anything.....
good luck....
2007-10-31 12:34:18 · answer #5 · answered by sylv_chick 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Take my advice and go round your mums place with a bunch of flowers a packet of biscuits and talk with her over a pot of tea.
Tell her you are very sorry for what you said and that it was cruel to have said it and that it meant nothing. Only that you were trying to hurt her at the time.
Tell her life is far too short to hold grudges against each other and that you love her very much. Christmas won't be the same without her and she will be sorely missed by everyone.
2007-10-31 11:19:17 · answer #6 · answered by Robin 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your mum sounds like shes acting like a spolit child but you arent being very mature either. She is testing you to see if you will apologise as I doubt very much she will want to spend Christmas on her own.
You should make up with her and let it blow over and not spoil Christmas for everyone.
If you apologise you will be in safe in the knowledge that you are the more mature person out of the two.
2007-10-31 11:18:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
There are a lot of weeks between now and Christmas Day.. I would let her cool her heels for a month.. and get a grandkid to invited her, she will come around.. some times arguments happen but its so far away from Christmas it should be okay by then.
2007-10-31 11:17:14 · answer #8 · answered by Tapestry6 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have you ever heard of the saying: don't go to bed angry?
It seems that you may have ended the argument, but the coles are still burning. Sooner or later there will be a fire again unless you put it out with water. Talk to your mom. Explain why she infuriated you so much. Be open and honest. Its better to talk things through instead of leaving them as is. I wish I had that chance with my father. He died just before Christmas last year, we never had the chance to completely mend things over. so, never go to bed angry is my moto.
2007-10-31 19:37:59 · answer #9 · answered by Pandora 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why not send her a card saying sorry and that you love her? and then call her. Christmas is a time that families should be together. Since moving from the UK to the States I know how important family is. Even though she may drive you bananas!
2007-10-31 13:15:38 · answer #10 · answered by Mama~peapod 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you didn't mean what you said, get off your high horse, go round with a big bunch of flowers, and beg her forgiveness. Stop looking for justifications and who is right and who is wrong. This is your mother, and you will both have a miserable christmas if you don't sort it out. The longer you leave it, the worse it will be. Don't delay!
2007-10-31 16:26:00 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋