Am i pushing my husband Away?

Question

I have been married for 5 years and have two young children together at first in my marriage everything was fine then now i have changed i gained 40 pounds and dont look like i did before and my husband has noticed my change and niceley has told me the thing is that because i my weight gain i am moody all the time because I am not happy with myself and i am taking it out on my family nowi tend to nag him ALOT and i just feel that i am pushing him away what do you think?

Answer 1

you probably are pushing him away.
You really have 2 choices here. Accept yourself as you are now and learn to love yourself or take action to lose the weight. Exercise is a definite mood enhancer and the key to weight loss. You could be happier and less moody while you lose. But it doesn't sound like your hubby is complaining about how you look- just about how you feel about yourself. You need to do whatever it takes to be happy with yourself.

Answer 2

I don't think the term "pushing away" is at issue.

It's good you realize you have gained the weight. It's also good that your husband was nice about any issues and actually communicated to you.

Firstly, understand that appearance (in general statistics) is more important to men then to women. So, your appearance is equivilant to his display of care and approval of you.

It almost seems that the moodiness and venting is "all of a sudden" or because of the weight gain. That may be true. You may already be feeling bad about the gain and have unknowingly become a little more irratible.

What you need to do is to lovingly communicate how you are feeling about yourself and express that you realize it has affected. He needs assurance that you are not just letting your body go to pot. As a married spouse, each of yourselves are dedicated to meeting the others' needs.

Show that you are making a concerted effort to lose the weight because you care about him, and yourself.

Nagging, irritibility, and a combination of other things will bring distance and simmer the intimacy and closness. So, do all you can to bring things back to being close and keep your focus on the marriage.

Lastly, don't let people who are filled with personal grudges towards gender or spouse give you advice. Stick to the defenders of marriage as influence.

Also, don't let emotions override communication. Fear can hurt your efforts. Make it work!

Answer 3

I know how you feel, I took gained quite a bit of weight over the years and I know better than anyone how it feels to hate the way you look every time you look in the mirror. I've tried, and continue to try to lose the weight but haven't had a lot of luck. Buy clothes that look good and flatter you. Has far as whether or not you're taking this out on your family. I don't know. You might be, that's hard to say without seeing the situation.

If this is something you think you're doing, consider seeing someone you can talk to (a preacher, counselor, etc.); talk to your doctor about a plan to lose the extra weight and go from there.

Answer 4

Well from a guys point of veiw we do hate nagging. I think what you may need though is not weight loss but a little time for yourself. 2 young kids is alot of work. You can manage weight much less have piece of mind trying to take care of a family. If you could goto the gym or go for walks 3 times a week that'll help you mood alot. Otherwise you'll push your husband away.

Answer 5

The better question is what do you think? Have you changed? Was it because of the weight gain or did things change and then you gained weight? How do you feel otherwise? Maybe some counseling would be beneficial to you. Do you have outside interests besides family? Do you work? Hobbies? The best thing for you is to find out how you are doing really! Good Luck!!

Answer 6

Get yourself together. 40 pounds is a lot of weight gain and I'm sorry, but obesity is not atractive. Having kids is not an excuse to let yourself go. Physical atraction is important for a relationship and I don't care if I get 20 thumbs down for telling you this, it's the truth. It's not about being "shallow" etc. etc. that's a lame excuse of people that refuse to take care of their own health and relationship.

You attitude comes from how unhappy you are with your body and how you see your relationship deteriorate because of it. Then do something about it, because making everyone around you miserable is not going to cut it.

You want to save your marriage? then start to exercise and eat healthier or else, you will become a roommate of yoru spouse.

Good luck

Answer 7

I think you need to be happy with yourself... Hit the gym, go for a walk on these cool evenings, have a salad instead of a burger and fries... A little goes a long way. If YOU are unhappy about your weight, which it sounds like you are, then do something about it. Don't complain, don't say you're going to do this... Actions speak louder than words.... Then, when you get back down... It will end up being better for your family... Why? Because if Momma ain't happy... No one is! Make yourself happy!

Answer 8

sounds like you are in a deep depresstion about something. Maybe something had happen or change in your lifestyle. But not all of us are going to look what we did before. We all get old and our weight will change. That part of life.
But it only up to you to make thoses changes for yourself. Your body could be going thur some changes, and you want to make them feel like you do now. Work out the kinks, bite your lip, and get on with it.
If you don't like your weight, get on a workout program. Your husband being nice about it, so talk to him, ask if he can help you out. But I can't blame him, wanna go away for the weekend, if i have someone nagging me alot too.
Too much can drive a person insane.

Answer 9

Change the way you eat and begin exercising. Your mood will improve drastically because of the positive endorphins flowing. You will also start to slim down and feel better about that as well. Just think, you can go shopping, feel sexy and be healthier. Just start out slowly changing the habbits you have established lately, incorporate better food in your diet and exercise at least three days a week. You will see results and feel 100% better.

Answer 10

You need to set a weight where you are going to feel comfortable. It is very hard to go back to the weight we used to be, but we also have to be healthy and feel comfortable with ourselves. It's not easy especially with a family to take care of, but you have to take a little time for yourself. Love is not about looks, but as women we always want to look good for our husbands. Try and dress up a little more often and show him that you can still be sexy. It all has to start with you feeling good about yourself.